The Importance of "First"

What are some important "First" experiences? First hair cut, first day of school, first time to ride a bike, first time to drive, first date, first kiss, etc. Why is it that mothers save their baby's hair from their first hair cut, take multitudes of pictures on the first day of school, dream of the day they can drive, but dating and kisses aren't as big of a deal. In some families it is and in others its not. Many girls when i ask about their first date they can barely even remember it. Why is this? First kisses are often remembered, but not nearly treasured enough. So, if you have already given away your "First" God is definitely a God of second chances! If you've never had a "First" then praise God! YOU can still savor your first time experiences. How can you do this? First things first... Don't just give them away at the drop of a hat! I often hear girls saying, "It's just a date..." it may "Just be a date", but one day you will regret those meaningless and pointless dates with guys that you knew was not the "one", but you went anyway just because you wanted to go on a date. Now yes, going on a date with the wrong guy is not the end of the world, but i often ask, why do it? I mean yes it is fun to date and many girls feel as if they "need" a guy, but the truth is that is not a God honoring attitude. So why do it? Then as far as kissing... It is just a kiss. Can i just say loud and clear... GAG ME! This is something that is worth so much and girls just toss it around like it is nothing. Girls, your kisses are yours and yours only. No guy has the right to take them and therefore you have the right to choose when, where, and to whom you give them away. Many girls express that they feel when they go on a date and the guy buys the food that they feel as if they "owe" him a kiss. I would hate to know what they feel they owe him if he bought them flowers! Do you get my point? This is not Biblical. The Bible straight up says, "DO not awaken love until it's appointed time". Kissing may not make you want to have sex, but it is without a doubt "Awakening" love. Girls, your first date and your first kiss is valuable... There is no specific time that the Bible says its ok to kiss or go further. It just simply says to honor God. The question is often asked then when is it appropriate to kiss a guy or let a guy kiss you. There is no easy answer for that... For each person it is different. It is between you and God. I personally plan to save my first kiss for my wedding day. Some girls say that's crazy and they do not feel God calling them to that at all. That is perfectly fine! At the same time many girls feel called to this, but feel so alone and think no one else in the world is trying to wait. For you girls who feel that way... You are not alone!I want to encourage you to stick to your standards that you feel are what God wants and do not back down! If a guy ever tells you that God is not leading him the same way then that means he is not the one. Precious sisters in Christ... Do. Not. Back. Down. I believe it will be completely worth it one day!

Praying for you as you fight this battle...
JEN

Mrs. Cindy's story!

My name is Cindy Smith!  I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, and pastor's wife.  The most honorable of all the titles I have is "Mom."  I have always taken the responsibility serious and do to this day.  One of the opportunities I have been afforded, is teaching abstinence in middle schools and high schools.  Trust me this is not something I saw myself doing at the age of "50."  I feel I have been given an awesome platform because of the openness I have had with my own daughter and her friends.  When I was a teenager talking about sex was taboo.  You did not talk about it or ask questions.  In fact, if you were in the presence of adults and they talked about sex they would spell the word, in order to keep you from knowing what they were saying!  It wasn't like we couldn't spell!!!!!! In my opinion, it was a hidden topic, which made us more curious. Growing up in the '70's were a lot different than today!  One thing for sure, we had the best music and clothes. As I grew older, I made a decision. When I grew up and got married and had children, I knew I would be as open and honest with my child, concerning these issues as much as possible.  

When my husband became a pastor in 2002, we made a commitment to be involved in the local Sav-A-Life Centers in our area.  Eventually, I became a volunteer counselor.  After being at the center a few years, an opportunity came to me, to be trained to be an Abstinence Counselor.  I went through training and became certified to go into the middle schools and high schools in our area.  One of the days when I was working as a counselor at the center, I had a client who came in that was 16 years-of-age.  She thought she was pregnant and she had already had numerous sexual partners and had contracted an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).  The particular STD she had contracted, I was not familiar with.  I decided on that day, to educate myself about STDs.  This is how I initially became involved in the abstinence program.  My job as a presenter was to teach in the schools on STDs.  When I was a teenager, there were two known STDs; today there are over 25 known STDs.  Every year there are 19 million new cases of STDs, with nearly half occurring in young people between the ages of 15-24!  It's an astonishing fact, because parents are uneducated, therefore the youth of America are uneducated.  Chlamydia is one of the most common, fastest growing STDs. I have made a commitment to educate the youth in our city and to be open and honest with the facts.  Our message is to value who you are and know that you are worth waiting for.  When we as teens, young women and adult women, can see ourselves as valuable, we can make the commitment, not only to ourselves, to remain pure, but to God.  God has the man just for you and it's up to you to decide "YOU ARE WORTH WAITING FOR."  

Be blessed! 

Cindy Smith  

"Dating" Jesus

Does this idea seem a little far out? I read in a book a few weeks ago of a girl who her mom challenged her to back off from being boy crazy and for 6 months "Date" Jesus. A couple of times a month she would actually set aside a specific night and just be in the presence of God. Also, she would read the love letter (The Bible) from her lover consistently! She sang to Him, spent time with His friends (Church). Since I read this I've been thinking about it alot... We focus so much on guys and who is dating who, but are any of us as truly focused on God?

Here are some questions to consider and to see whether you are more focused on dating guys or dating God...

~ Do you talk more about guys or God?
~Do you talk to guys or God more?
~Do you focus on what God thinks or what your boyfriend thinks?
~When getting dressed, is your focus to attract guys or to honor God?
~On FB, are your statuses more about your BF or about God?
~ Who do you choose to spend more time with, God (church) or your boyfriend?

Girls, I'm not saying that you should never talk to or about a guy. I'm simply saying that it needs to be balanced. Think honestly.... Do you value your relationship with God as much as you do your "man"? What if the guy who is your dream man doesnt bring honor to God. Would you choose God over him? This is where the rubber meets the road. Now is the time to fall in love with God and in HIS timing He will bring the right guy! It reminds me of the quote, "If you dance with God then at the perfect time He will let the perfect guys cut in!".

I challenge you to go on a date with God...

If you have a boyfriend thats great! Take a night off and enjoy the presence of God. If you do not have a boyfriend let God be your boyfriend! It can be romantic and totally thrilling!

Now is the time to fall in love with God... not later, now! Set aside a time and go on a date with Jesus! Pick the perfect place (Quiet and peaceful), dress up (This isnt always necessary, but it is sometimes fun!), and if you enjoy dancing literally dance with God! Take your Bible... it is God's love letter to you! Nothing more romantic than a love letter written directly to you! Grab some food also. Just enjoy the presence of God. I promise you if you are real with God this will not be a date you regret!

Song of Solomon 8:4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you, do not arouse or awaken

love until it so desires.



Philipians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

JEN

Cool video by Leslie Ludy!

What is love?

Lately God and I have really been talking about what love truly is... Not romantic love, but Godly Christian love. We toss around, "I love you" often and hardely ever truly do anything. Yes, I read the love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) and that helped, but i wanted to share with you guys what love means to me! Now to every person it may be different and i would love for you to comment and tell me what it means to you.

Love is.....

Hugging a child at church who honestly you doubt has bathed in the past few days...

Smiling at someone even when you are having a terrible day...

Writing a note of encouragement to somoene who doesnt get noticed often...

Saying, "Thank you" for the small things people do that go unoticed

Listening and truly caring about a friend when in the back of your mind you are thinking they need to get over whatever is going on...

Txting someone and just saying, "Im praying for you and thank God for you!"...

Being willing to smile and love on kids even when you've had kids hanging on you all day...

Giving some of your food to hungry college students... (When you live in the dorm this is an all the time thing!)

Not sharing confidential information that someone has shared with you...

Taking the time to send an encouraging email to someone just to tell them how proud you are of them..

Buy somone who is having a hard day some flowers...

Just hug someone...



Yes, these are all examples from my life. Your life is different and so you have different opportunities to show love! If you cant tell I work with youth/children alot. I also live in a dorm! Below is a picture that was taken the other week and I absolutely love it! It is a picture of a girl I go to church with. Her home life isnt the best and she longs for love. She invited me to her birthday party and honestly it was on the worst day possible for me, but i made sure i stopped by just to show her that i cared. It was all worth it to see the look in her eyes when she saw me. Whenever I see this pic I hear God say, "This is what love is about!"

Just a thought...

"They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same."

Thought for the weekend!

You can tell what matters most to a person by 3 things...

~ Looking at their checkbook registry
~ Checking the history on their computer
~ Talking to them for a total of about 3 minutes

What matters most to you?

Writing your future husband!

The other day we talked about praying for your future husband and we got great response concerning it. A few girls mentioned writing their future husbands and I loveeee this idea! I've talked about it before and encourage it often, but for those of you who have never thought about it writing your future husband is a wonderful way to focus on HIM and not other guys. Guys come and go, but there will only be one Mr. Right.

If you have ever written your love before I would love for you to share any ideas you have! Below are a few of mine! :)

~When you are struggling with a guy situation... write your future spouse and ask his advice! It will help you focus on him and honor him in your decisions!

~Valentines day.... write him a love note!

~Make him a valentine craft!

~Fathers day.... write a card to the future father of your children!

~If writing poetry or songs is your thing why wait until you meet him to write something?

~Tell him of your wishes, dreams, hurts, fears, joys, etc!

~Tell him of your love and that you are praying for him!

These are just a few ideas and each girl is different, but the whole purpose is to stay focused on your one and only true love... It is SOOOO easy to get distracted in this world, but God calls us to not to awaken love until it is HIS time!

JEN

P.S. Make sure to read the post before this one if you haven't already!!