"I love You"... what does it really mean?

We have discussed saying, "I love you" before, but I think we need to revisit it! :) How many of you have ever been told this by a guy who soon left, who disrespected you, and who basically just truly didn't care about you. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Anyway, it bothers me how many statuses and wall post I see on face book between people who are dating saying, "I love you baby!", "You are mine forever!", "I want to be with you always!" and then the next week they have broken  up, gotten with someone else and began writing all the same things on that persons wall. Is that what love is?? If you think so I'm here to tell you it isn't.... That is NOT what love is! 1 Corinthians 13 is known as the "love" chapter. I could paraphrase it myself, but i doubt I could say it any better. So, here it is...

1 Corinthians 13


1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

So here is my point... don't fall for the petty things that the world calls love!! Wait for TRUE love!! My boyfriend and I do not say, "I love you" for the simple fact that we do not know if we truly love each other in the form that we want to spend the rest of our life with each other. We do say, "I like you" bc we know that's true, but think.... If Nick told me now that he loved me or even when we started out dating and then when he did realize he wanted to marry me and he told me that he loved me it would seem no different. Don't cheapen this beautiful gift of love that God has given us!! I challenge you to pay attention to fb (If you have one) at all the things couples write... it is sickening!! The sad part about it is they are cheapening their future every time they say things like that...

The same as all the other post... this is just my opinion. It is worth a thought though! :)

Much love,
JEN R

The beauty of firsts...

Hey chicks! I want to talk to you today about different, “Firsts” today! Not just sex for the first time, but firsts concerning purity in general. Let me explain… Nick and I have been dating 6 months as of yesterday. He is the first relationship I’ve been in that has lasted that long. So, it was very special! Now if I had dated many boys off and on and had a couple that lasted 6 months would it have been as special? Of course not. I believe that there are some first that are ok before marriage then of course there are some that are not ok until after marriage. For example, I believe holding hands, dating, that sort of thing is ok before marriage. I also believe that there are some first that you should save until you are married. These are things such as any form of sex, kissing (Just my personal stand), much touching, etc. Here is the point… I want to save as many first for my husband as I can!! I challenge you to do the same. Just imagine if you could give your husband your first kiss, if you could give him the privilege of being the first male to see you without clothes, allow him to be the first person to ever touch you in a sexual way, and of course allow him to be the first person you have ever had sex with. How amazing would that be for him to know that he is the only one to have had that privilege?? Girls, now is the time whether you will get to tell him that or not. It isn’t the same to just be on your wedding night and be like, “Oh wow! No one ever did that before!” he should not be getting your leftovers. He should be getting the whole meal. Do you get this?! Now is the time you save your first!




Two side notes though… If you have been taken advantage of then that is NOT your first! If you have been raped then you are still a virgin! I do not care what anyone told you. You are and hopefully you will choose a husband who believes the same! When I say your first I mean the first time you gave anything away willingly! Make sense? Secondly, I do not mean this post to be condemning if you have given away some first times that you wish you had not. With god there is forgiveness. Yes, you will still have it in your past, but that is where it belongs… in your past.



I love you girls!

Waiting along beside you….

JEN

Thought Filled Thursday!

Jesus was not created to be an accessory to our life... He was created to BE our life!!

Crazy Blogging! :)

So lately I've been blogging more bc I've been home on Thanksgiving break! Hopefully I will keep it up! :)

This is a challenge, but i want you to take it seriously... From what I've heard from other girls and what I've experienced myself is it seems impossible to remain pure until marriage. Maybe with the "big" things like no sex until marriage (for some girls that even seems impossible!) don't seem impossible, but the little things do. The things like giving your heart away to a guy or as so many girls expressed becoming emotionally attached. Maybe it is giving a kiss away... one at a time. Maybe to you it's more or maybe it's less. Each person is different. The point is at times it can seem like marriage will never get here and there is no way on earth you can stay pure until then! I've heard girls say that exact thing over and over...

So, what can you do? Here is my idea, fight it as a daily battle. Do not think of it as 5 years before you get married. Think of it as one more day. I'm not big into journaling, but i do some during hard or tempting times. I kept a journal that i will most likely give to my husband one day and at the end of each day I would write down how I had waited for him... whether it pushing a guy away from kissing me, whether it be I turned down a guy bc i knew he wasn't the right one, maybe it was just choosing to control my thoughts, or some days it is just simply that i was so lonely yet with joy i waited for him. Now are you going to succeed every day? No. At least i know I don't! You will make mistakes, but most likely not near as many bc you will not feel near as hopeless. You may not want to write it down, but find a way to keep up with it. Maybe have a friend that you talk to alot who you can tell, "I waited". The best part about this is when you feel like you cant wait and you want to give up you can either go back and read or have your friend remind you of all the times you did succeed and if you've done it before you can do it again!!

I challenge you to begin your day asking God to help you fight the battle and lay down at night thanking Him for the victory! If you didn't have a victory praise God for what He will do tomorrow!

Girl... As my roommate says, "You got this!" You are stronger than you know and with God there is not one doubt in my mind that you can not remain pure until your wedding day!!

Much love,
JEN

Thought Filled Thursday!

"I'm not single and looking; I'm single and following. Following God into the arms of whoever He has for me." ~ Amber S (My roomie!)

Quit looking!

Hey darlin!

What do you do when someone tells you to not look? You automatically look don't you? Well, hopefully after reading this post you will not do that exact thing. I see girl after girl "looking" for a man. They claim to not be desperate, yet it is obvious to everyone else. They are willing to settle. They are constantly talking about it and constantly thinking about it. Constantly considering what could get a guys attention or if they dressed a little less modestly and sway their hips as they walk by would that make him notice her? The sad part is these aren't just the "sluts" as we call them. These are the girls that are in our Churches every Sunday.... Girls, please understand I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but it is about time someone stepped up and pointed out how this is not the way God made it! Before I even begin though... I'm not referring to the mans vs woman's rights. We are just simply discussing how if we as girls were as crazy about God as we are boys it would turn this world upside down! We've all been in this place from time to time. We get caught up with "match makers" or being one. Can I just say right now.... GOD IS THE ULTIMATE MATCH MAKER! We as women want to be loved, appreciated, and given attention. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. The problem comes in when we want it so bad that we will do anything to get it. So, what should you do if you are like the girl I described earlier? I wish it was as easy as just saying stop, but it's not. It takes a change of heart, meaning you become content in Christ and not desperate for a humans love. Also, it means that you believe that God has a better plan than you or I could ever imagine (Jeremiah 29:11)!

I can tell you now... It is when you quit looking that you are able to see God's will and it is as if He simply drops the person into your lap! Honey, If you feel as if you have to have a guy begin falling in love with God and that will totally change! Not that you will not want a guy, but you will not be dependant on one. You will be dependant on God!! I remember after I had made a few mistakes and God had given me quite an awakening i began the journey to being content... it wasn't easy and wasn't at that time what I wanted to be doing, but i wouldn't change it for a thing in this world! A quote from the book Lady in Waiting describes my heart during this time... "Rather than staying home another 'dateless' Saturday night, realize how much valuable time has been entrusted to you at this point in your life. Rather than resent your many single hours, embrace them as a gift from God- A package containing opportunities to serve Him that are limited to only your self pity and lack of obedience." This is the prime time of your life! This is the time you can make friendships that you might not be able to later. More than that... This is a prime time for you to draw closer to God!! Of course you will continue growing closer to God once you get married, but while you are single you have more time to be alone and you do not have someone who takes up your time. So take this time captive and enjoy your single years!! Over the last couple of years I've fallen in love with God more than i ever thought possible and I have so much farther to go, but this is my point.... It is possible to be content with God! Are you ok with out a boyfriend? If you have one, would you be ok without him? It's worth thinking about... Do you spend more time thinking/ talking about God or some guy?

Sold out for Him,
JEN

Have you considered this?

It occured to me the other day that, while we've talked about many areas of purity and modesty and being prepared, we have not really discussed the topic of dancing. It has come to my attention twice in the past few weeks that this is very much an area of physical purity that needs to be addressed.

First of all, why is it so important? Well if you've ever watched Dancing With The Stars you know that the world has taken dancing and made it a twisted and sensual thing. But that's not what dancing has to be. Dancing, like music, photography, literature, and other forms of entertainment can be used to have fun and still be glorifying to God. But because the world has made it such a sensual thing, you need to know where you draw the line. What is appropriate or inappropriate? If you ever go to a dance, you need to know where you stand on this. As always, the "Would I do this if God or my future husband were watching" question applies.

Okay so now I just want to share my own personal guidelines when it comes to dancing to help give you a starting point.

-Never dance back-to-front or front-to-back with anybody, male or female.

-Space is good! You don't have to be an arms length apart, but pressing your body up against a guy isn't a good idea either (if you wouldn't do it in a non-dancing situation, you shouldn't do it here either). I don't have an "exact" measurement of how far apart I stand, but it should be clear to others that I'm not pressed up against a guy.

-If you don't want them to touch that area of your body, don't move it in a way that draws attention to that specific area (ie hip thrust, booty roll, chest thrust, etc).

-Be mindful of your clothing. If you know the skirt of your dress is going to fly up in an inappropriate way, don't do something to make it fly up (ie kicking, jumping).

-Enjoy yourself! Like I said, these are my guidelines, but trust me I'm not worrying every second "am I following the rules?" while I'm dancing. The standard I set for myself is pretty easy to follow, and trust me, I still have tons of fun dancing within those guidelines.

So maybe you disagree with these guidelines totally or feel they should be stricter. You don't have to go by my rules, but this is the standard I've prayed about and set for myself. My point with this girls is to have a standard. Just like everything else with purity, know where you draw the line.

Love, Kat

Parents AKA Your TRUE friends!

Hi! :) Soooo some of you gals just gagged when you read the title. You know who you are! Anywho, I'm actually really serious about this. I've been on both sides...one side being that I never told my parents anything and the other side being I tell them everything. A couple of years back I went through a period where I told them nothing...they had no idea the pain i was going through, the mistakes i was making, and sometimes even the joy I had. I kept it all from them. You have to realize I was home schooled and so this is a BIG accomplishment! I mean its easy to do, but for home school kids it can be tough. Anyway, long story short I one day just sat my dad down (I'm close to mom also, but when Ive done something wrong I go to dad!lol) and said we need to talk. That's when every last lovin thing came out. Was it easy? No, they were disappointed and quite frankly shocked, but they still loved me. Girls, the last few years have been tough, but my parents have been through it all with me. To be totally honest friends come and go. I've had people who I looked up to just leave me, but you can guess who was always there (God of course...take another guess!). This is one of those light hearted yet serious post. I cant tell you the freedom I feel knowing that my parents know everything about me and still love me! When I was being pressured to do something I didn't want to do you know who I went to (After God)? My daddy!! Sis, you may not have as great of home life as I do and that truly does break my heart, but can I tell you hiding things from your parents are not helping you any. Of course there are always those situations where parents are abusive and of course I'm not really talking about those situations, but for the girls who their parents care and want the best for them, which is about 95% of the girls reading this. TALK TO THEM! Yes, you may get grounded if you've done something wrong, but you know you deserve it. Girls, more than even if you've done something wrong.... but if you've been hurt. Tell your parents... My parents could tell something was wrong, but they didn't know what and bc I wouldn't let them in and so they couldn't figure it out. Girls, your parents aren't going to look at you as if you are a freak or as if you have some disease. You would be amazed how open they will be and how much love they will show you!

I just have to mention this bc I cant tell you how many girls do this... Going behind your parents back is WRONG! That would include dating a guy they tell you not to date, going further physically with a guy than they allow you to, visiting Internet sites they do not want you to, listening to music they do not allow you to listen to, having friends they do not want you to have, etc. It is SIN! The Bible says to honor your parents and the world may tell you that its ok to go behind their back, but I'm here to tell you God's word says it is NOT ok! I tell you this bc I've done it and it is not all it's cracked up to be! God has a plan and when you follow it you will be AMAZED at just how right it feels!

If you are reading this and God is saying, "HELLO! I'm talking to you here!" go talk to your parents... Find a time that you can truly sit down and get real with them. If you are closer to one more than the other go to that one. It may be your mom that you are closer to! Whomever it may be. Pray first though... Pray that God guides you in what and how to say it, but also pray for your parents that they will be understanding and loving. I promise you that you will not regret it. I haven't for one second.

Much love,
JEN

We're Human

Girls, week in and week out Jen and I tell you our stance on purity, how important it is, and what the Bible says about it. But tonight I just wanna say something: I'm still a human being. Jen is still human. We make mistakes, and I know I have moments when I am not glorifying God. I mean just yesterday I yelled at my dog for walking into my room (no joke). Let me just say it was not a hallelujah moment. And I will be honest, I'm having one of those weeks where I'm wondering, "God when am I gonna be there? When is it gonna be my turn to have a boyfriend?" And the fact that I'm even asking that question goes to confirm that I'm not ready right now. But nevertheless, I ask the question. Now don't get me wrong, I am not asking God to send me a boyfriend or anything like that. But I am asking what the future has in store. I mean I look around and I see some great guys, but somehow I know that God is saying "no not them. just keep waiting and you'll see." But believe me, the fact that I'm currently dateless to my senior homecoming dance has not slipped my mind. And this is the point where my mind goes, hold up!!!! Stop the pity-party. Am I really this selfish and... and shallow? I mean God is preparing a guy for me, according to his perfect plan. He is carefully guiding my path and shaping me into the person he created me to be. And all the while I'm over here complaining to myself because i don't know what's gonna happen next? Or if I'm gonna have a date to a dance? Seriously? And I pray that God will give me a heart the yearns only for more of him. I want so badly not to be the selfish girl who is only concerned with the here and now. Girls, tonight I do not pretend to have all the answers. I'd be lying if I said I did. I do not pretend to have this whole Christian thing down to a science. The only thing I can give you tonight is what I do know, and I know in my heart that God is working, even when I can't see it.



Love, Kat

Jesus, lover of my soul!

This is just something I've been thinking about lately and I wanted you gals to think about it. Who means more to you... Your boyfriend or God? It could be anything or God, but seeing that this blog is about purity we will keep it guys, okeydokey? It kills me to see girls who light up at the thought of talking to their boyfriend yet can't seem to "find the time" to talk to their Lord. It kills me to see girls who would do absolutely anything (Even things that are degrading to them) for their boyfriend yet won't even acknowledge the name of the man who died on the cross for them. It kills me to watch girls during worship just act as if it is nothing, yet when they talk about their boyfriend it is as if the whole world revolves around him. Where is our focus? I can tell you right now my boyfriend knows that he is not the first priority in my life. Most of the time I do not even have to say it... you can see it. There's a song that talks about how a guy wishes his girlfriend got as excited when she talked about him as she did when she talked about her Lord! When was the last time you talked about God with someone? For some of you just a few minutes, for others...days, weeks, months, maybe never. When was the last time you talked about that, "Special guy"? I'm pretty sure it wasn't that long ago... I'm not trying to beat you over the head today, but I am tired of the luke warm Christian girls. It is time to quit trying to look good in the worlds eyes and start looking good in the eyes of the man who died for you and who loves you more than any other man EVER could! We cant stay on the fence any longer. I was talking to the youth last wed night about worshiping. I made the statement that if they didn't mean it I rather them just sit down than to stand their and fake it. I make the same statement here. I rather you just give up the fake card and let the world know you really do not mean it than to act like you are all perfect, yet really not care one bit. On the flip side though, if you really do mean it then LIVE IT! Not just when it's easy, but even when it's hard! I remind myself of the song often that says, "If my God is for us then who could ever stop us?"! LIVE IT TODAY!

JEN

Motivated

Hey girls!!!!! It's been a long time since I've posted. I just want you to know I have not forgotten you!!! After weeks of trying to get a post up but failing, I finally came to the reality that tuesdays aren't working for me to post on the blog. So I'm changing days, and I will be posting on Mondays now! If we have testimonies they will be posted on Tuesday (Testimony Tuesday!). All that to say I've missed you girls and I'm excited to blog again.

This week I wanted to talk about motives. What motivates you? Why are you striving to be pure? This question is often overlooked, but it's probably one of the most vital questions about purity. Why are you doing it? I'm not asking you to tell me, but you need to get real with yourself about it. Are you doing this because it's what your parents want for you? Are you doing it because you're afraid to break the "rules" of being a Christian? Honey, I have news for you. If you aren't doing it for the right reasons, it means absolutely nothing. That's the core of what I'm talking about today.

So it stands to reason you would want to know the right reason for setting a standard of purity. Well it's really quite simple. Your number one reason for a purity standard should be you love God and therefore want to please him. Your number two reason should be you love your future husband and therefore want to save yourself for him alone.

"And now I will show you the most excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." -1 Corinthians 13:1-3

If love is not at your core reasoning for purity, then you really have no reason at all. Jesus said EVERY commandment hinges on the two most important laws: Love God, Love Others (paraphrased; Matthew 22:37-40). Girls you have your lists, your rules, all your ideas. We talk about this all the time. But if you have not examined your motives and confirmed that they are the right ones, I cannot stress the importance enough! Steven Curtis Chapman said it very well in his song All About Love.

"Gods says love, love, love, love, love
It's all about love, love, love, love, love
Everything else comes down to this
Nothing any higher on the list than love
'Cause after all, it's all about love"

Love, Kat

Are you a Princess?

Has someone ever told you that you are a princess? How did it make you feel? If they truly meant it then i have a feeling you smiled. It made you feel good, right? Is that a bad thing? NO! God does not want you to walk around condemned all the time. Yes, you should be humble, but humble doesn't mean being down on yourself all the time. Take note of this... Being humble means having no view of yourself. So with that said... it is ok to see yourself as priceless! The cool part about this is that the Bible tells us to view others as better than ourselves. So if we can grasp how God truly views us then it will effect the way we view/treat others!

Anyway, moving on... You are a princess! Have you ever thought about this? If you have asked Jesus into your heart then you have become His daughter (John 1:12). Follow me here... we are called God's child and then God is called the King of Kings. Do you see where I'm going with this? Some of you have hears this a million times, but others may have never heard it. Therefore, if you have asked Jesus into your heart then you are a daughter of the King (AKA princess!)!

Do you get this?? I challenge you to live your life this understanding of who and whose you are! Not with a big head, but understanding that you are NOT worthless! You do NOT have to take any form of abuse or be pressured to do anything your do not want to do! Yes, be humble. You can have a Godly view of yourself though!

So, live today knowing that you were bought with a price and that you are priceless!! You are a PRINCESS!! =)

In love,
JEN

What's holding you back?

Sorry this is a day late, I meant to post last night but I got home really late and and ended up going straight to bed. But today I wanted to share a little on a subject that really changed my point of view, not just on purity, but on going after everything God has for me wholeheartedly. I know most you who read this blog have already made purity commitments, but I can't help feeling that someone is reading this who wants to commit to purity but something is holding them back. That's what I want to talk about today.

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe." -Proverbs 29:25. A couple of years ago, I would have read this with no real insight to what the verse meant. If you're like that too, it's talking about peer pressure. You could easily rephrase it 'peer pressure will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.' So is what other people might think or say about you holding you back from making a purity commitment? Girls, allow me to be blunt, what those people say about you in high school for following God's will and obeying his word will not make a hill of beans difference in light of eternity and marital bliss. Do you really care what they think? It's YOUR body, not theirs. You can decide for yourself to treat it the way God desires or not. I love the last part of that verse, "whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe." Just trust him, trust him to take care of your future husband, trust him and you will be safe.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness." -1 John 1:9. Maybe you've already made a mistake, and that's what is holding you back from committing to purity. Girls, God can forgive EVERY sin. While he cannot restore your physical purity, he can restore your spiritual and emotional purity. Just because you have sinned in the past does not mean you have to keep sinning in the future. "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." -2 Chronicles 7:14. Turn from your past and press on to the future. Don't think you can leave your old ways? "Therefore, if anyone is in Christy, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17. Girls, the Bible isn't just a bunch of mumbo jumbo here. If you really want to pursue a life of purity, you CAN do it, with help from God.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us." -Hebrews 12:1. If you know me, you probably know that this is one of my life verses. But how applicable it is here girls! Everyone is watching, so let us throw off everything that is holding us back, and let us press on fully living a life that is pure and pleasing to God. So I may not have discussed what's holding you back today, but this verse says to throw off EVERYTHING that hinders. You only get one life to live for God. So what's holding you back today?

Love, Kat

Ignorance is a beautiful thing!

I'm sure you had a question or two come across your mind when you read the title, but it's the truth! There are a very few things that you can say ignorance is a good thing to. One of them though is Sexuality. Still a little confused? I figure most of you are... :) In our world today media, Internet, magazines, songs, TV, movies, everything basically tells you that you need to "Know" what you are doing. You should be so good at it that you are "smooth". I have some earth shattering news for those people though. When I find the perfect guy for me I will not care whether he has all the right "moves" or knows just what to say! Innocence is a beautiful thing! Do you know what perfection shows? That he has practiced.... I can tell you it wont be on me so that means it would have been on some other girl. Yes, I'm sure my honeymoon will have some awkward moments and to be frankly honest I do not care. We will laugh and move on. In my mind we will be creating memories. Do you get this though girls? The world tells us that we have to be the same way... perfect. If you've never done it before you cant be expected to be perfect. Is your mindset to wait on your husband and practice on him or is it that you have to know what you are doing before you meet him? Can I tell you the right guy will not expect perfection... it will mean the world to him that you waited and therefore you are not quite sure what to do, where to put your hands, or what to say. Ignorance is a beautiful thing!!

You have no idea how many people I've had ask me, "Don't you think it will be hard to go from nothing to everything in one night?". My honest answer is, yes at some points it may be, but PRAISE GOD it wont be so smooth bc we've done almost everything we could before that night. Girls, I'm here to tell you I rather not have a clue be totally innocent than to have "been around" enough that I have no question as to what I should do. Can I get an amen?

Here is my thoughts though... why do we applaud guys (maybe not literally, but emotionally) who say the right things and degrade the ones who aren't quite as smooth? For instance, two guys like you....one is more flirtatious and smooth talking. He says all the right things and just knows exactly what to do. The other one is a little more shy. He is genuine though, but just seems a little awkward at times. The first one has a reputation for trying things on girls though. Which one would you go with? The majority would go with the first one, just for the simple fact he makes us "feel" better. Are we encouraging innocence though? No.... Even though you may never say this just the fact that the more experienced guys get more attention therefore it only takes a guy a few times of getting knocked down before he feels as if his only hope is to become "experienced" himself. Now yes, he does have a choice and yes he can choose to not give into peer pressure, but you and I as his sister in Christ should be encouraging him and pushing him on towards the goal of being like Christ. So if you have a boyfriend by NO means degrade him if he doesn't know what to say exactly or isn't quite sure. That is a beautiful thing!

One day when you get married do you want your husband to be perfect with you because he has practiced with other girls? Practice is what makes a person perfect at something. It's worth thinking about it... Also, think about the fact that every guy you touch, talk to in ways you shouldn't, or allow to "practice" on you will someday be someone Else's husband. Would you want someone else to be doing that with your husband?

Pursuing purity,
JEN

Why?

Hey girls!

Sorry this is a day late... I had orientation at College all day yesterday and just didnt have time to blog, but I was praying all day that God would give me something to say. Just like His normal self.. He did!

Anyway, lately we haven't really hit the subject of purity much. We've talked about other subjects that needed to be discussed, but they haven't really been related to purity. Today we are going to go back to the basics though! Why know how far you are willing to go before marriage? I mean cant you just decide when it happens? You shouldn't have to plan it all out.. Yeah right! Within the last month or so Ive received a wholeee now outlook on this question. Ive already told you, but I do have a boyfriend and he is an amazing guy, but we are both still human. Also Ive told you that I moved into college and so over the last month or so Ive gained a large amount of freedom from my parents that I'm not use to. I'm saying all this to say right now you may not need to know how far you are willing to go with a guy. You may not have a boyfriend, your parents may be strict, or whatever the case is. Can I tell you though at some point you will need to know... whether it is with just a guy friend or boy friend. You need to know! It can totally change the some of the decisions you will make....no doubt about it!

My parents and I have always had a great relationship, but they were rather strict and so it was always this is what they wanted, but now that I'm out of the house its a little different. I mean of course I still obey their wishes, but it isn't the same as when i was at home. It is now what do I think is right or wrong.

So...what do you think is to "far"? Write it down... it may sound dumb, but i cant tell you how long it took me before I would write mine down bc i was like if i mess up then i will just have to keep remembering that I messed up. Here is the deal... when i did finally write it down it was like i was giving it to God. It was written down and done. I prayed about it as I wrote it down. There was nooooo doubt in my mind that it was what He wanted me to do. Did I fight it for a while? Oh yes...for quite a while, but has God proven Himself faithful once i gave in and submitted to Him He has given me the strength to follow each one of my standards!

Where are your lines? Im not talking your parents... its great if yours agrees with theirs! Honestly mine are tougher than theirs. Do you even know? Its time to start thinking... NOW!

I am not ashamed of mine what so ever... For some of you mine may seem strict and for others they may seem not strict enough. Not to be rude, but I really do not care what you think... God and I have talked this over (More times than I can count!) and I have no doubt at all that this is where HE draws my lines!

~ I will not want to kiss a guy until my wedding day
~ I will not say, "I love you" until close to engagement
~ I refuse to have phone sex until Im married
~ Incase the others didnt cover this no sex, oral sex, or fingering before marriage either
~ Under normal circumstances I would not want to be alone for long periods of time with a guy until Im engaged
~ I will not do anything with a guy that I wouldnt want my future husband to see or do with another girl
~ I will continue to stay honest with my parents about any relationships I have
~More than any others... I will continue to stay clean before God concerning any relationships I have

Here are som verses that helped me come up with my standards! :)

1 Corinthians 6:13 Food for the stomach and the stomach for food—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.


1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

Ephesians 5:13 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

1 Thes 4:3 It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.

So what are you standards? Share them with us if you would like to... we would love to hear them!

JEN

Honoring Your Parents

I believe we have addressed this subject before, but I feel like I need to talk about it again. I'm gonna be brutally honest here girls, you HAVE to honor your parents. It breaks my heart to see kids being dishonest with there parents. Sneaking around behind their backs with dating relationships. Or just outright ignoring them when they warn you about getting too close too fast. That is not the way to show respect to your parents. They are older, they are wiser, and they have God-given authority over you. Respect them. Honor them. Let them be a part of your life.

Just for the record, your parents need to know when you are in a relationship. Keeping it a secret from them implies there's more to the story. When you keep things like this from your parents, it looks like you are doing things you shouldn't with that person. I'm not saying that is the case, but that's probably what it looks like to your parents. If your dating relationship is centered on God, then you should have nothing to hide from your parents.

Furthermore, if you begin keeping things from your parents, you are just setting your dating relationship up for failure. My mom always said the way you treat your immediate family is how you are going to treat your future husband. I know I have said that before, but some things need to be repeated, because they are important. If you are keeping secrets from your parents, you are practicing to keep secrets from your future husband.

Lastly, God promises to bless your life if you honor your parents. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'—which is the first commandment with a promise— 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'" -Ephesians 6:1-3. So honor your parents today by being open and honest with them about your dating relationships. God will bless you, and you will gain wisdom from listening to them.

Love, Kat

Wait~ Russell Kelfer

This isnt a normal Monday post, but I just wanted to share this poem.... :)

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Are you offended?

Did the title catch you off guard? The statement I'm about to make may cause you to wonder what on earth I'm talking about even more.... You should be offended. You should be repulsed and it should without a doubt bother you. What am I talking about? The ways of this world.... more specifically, the sex scenes in movies between an unmarried couple, tv shows that glorify teens going behind their parents back, crude jokes that your friends tell, the lyrics that some of the most popular artist sing, or just the little things that are consistently put in front of us which do not line up with God's word, day after day, hour after hour, and moment after moment... Are you repulsed by these things? I'm not just talking about being annoyed by them sometimes. Want to know if you are repulsed by them? Do you laugh at the jokes? Do you just ignore the scenes and continue watching the movie? Do you continue listening to the songs just bc your like the "beat"? If you said yes to any of these you are giving in. Those are just some signs of sitting on the fence. Are there things that you don't even notice or in all honesty you may enjoy? What about that sex scene? Do you even notice it anymore? With so many showing it is easy to not even notice it.... what about that joke? Are you the first one to laugh at it? You see where I'm going with this. I may not have even listed the thing you struggle with, but you know how it also applies to you.

Girls, our world is consumed by sin.... it is everywhere we look, everything we hear, and seeing that we don't have a choice about living on this world we have to make choices. Now please understand that by no means am i saying that you should go through life mad at the world and offended by everything people say, but I am saying that you shouldn't just get use to sin. You shouldn't just overlook it bc youve seen it to much. Make sense? We minimize sin. Kinda like phone sex is alright bc at least they aren't really doing it! Is that true? No. I just laughed at the joke....at least I didn't tell it! Girls, I desire for you to be so in love with God and so consumed by Him that when sin pops up you will know immediately that it is wrong!

How can you do that? You have to immerse yourself in God's word! I've noticed that when i get out of Gods word my sin alarms aren't as alert.... Are your so into God's word that there is no question in your mind what is right and what is wrong? Here are some verses about being set apart from the world and knowing right from wrong!

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Matther7:17-18 Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

Revelation 3:15-16 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

James 1:22-24 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.

So, here is my answer as to how you can keep your eyes on Christ. Get into His word! How will you know whats right from wrong if you never know the truth? We have the world telling us lies constantly, but Gods word is the only truth we have. I love the word, "Immerse"! The webster dictionary describes it as, "to plunge into something that surrounds or covers". I want to be covered/surrounded in God's word! Do you? Threre is only one way to go about that.... read it! You can study, memorize, examine, and take to heart Gods word. Then the next time you watch a show and something happens that is agianst Gods word you will most likely not think that it is normal.

This is my hearts desire! Is it yours?

With love,
JEN

Who controls your time?

So, lately Kat has been doing these amazing post that were short, sweet, and to the point. I on the other hand can be very long winded, so I apologize, but just hang on! :)

I think I mentioned it in an earlier post that I do have a boyfriend. If you didn't know that then....i do! Anywho, God has really been dealing with me about some things that before I had a bf I never really had to deal with. We are going to discuss one of them today.

Its who controls your time? I'm all about spending time with God! I wish I could spend more time with Him but I normally spend at least 15- 30 min a day plus other little times through out the day. You know what I mean. God started laying on my heart that just if I was still txting or thinking what I was going to txt him once I got done with God then i wasn't truly giving God my attention. Its like hanging out with your best friend or boyfriend and they are txting someone the whole time. I mean you are still talking and laughing together, but do you have their full concentration? There is no way. Even if they say you do you know full well you don't. So my question is, is it any different with God? I don't think so.... Its just like Bro Hal (my pastor) always says... You can tell who people truly love by looking at their checkbook. People's time is the same way. So who owns your time? It may not be a boyfriend... I have no idea! For me at times it is. Are you even spending time with God? If not then what is stopping you? If you are but you aren't giving Him your whole attention then what is stopping you?

Its just something that's been on my heart lately...:)

Much love,
JEN

You are not alone...

By the title you may think that I'm going to tell you how God is always with you and even though that is absolutely true Its not what we are going to talk about today!

We all have secrets... some are more serious than others, but they each hold a tender place in the owners heart. I will go ahead and tell you this is not a post that you can keep your mask on for. You have to be honest with yourself. I'm shocked each time a girl shares one of her deepest secrets with me. There are some girls that you can look at and know that they are hiding something, but then there are others who seem to have everything together. Life is just all peachy and they have never had anything happen to them. Ive found that those are the ones that are normally hurting the most.... Are you one of those? You know if you are. If you are, when i asked that something specifically popped into your head. Don't let satan tell you, "Oh that little thing! That's nothing..,. she is talking about something big!". That's a lie. To someone else your secret may be small, but to you it is big and as far as God is concerned it is big.... it matters. Here are a few ideas of secrets. Yours may not be on here, but at the same time it may be...

*I hate my family
*I've been abused (Emotionally, physically, verbally, sexually, etc)
*I'm anexoric or bulimic
*I feel unloved at home
*My parents constantly argue/ are getting divorced
*I question my salvation
*Ive been raped/molested
*I feel fat
*I do drugs, smoke, or drink
*My boyfriend and I have gone to far
*I question how God could still love me after all Ive done
*I think I'm ugly
*Ive thought about suicide
*I'm addicted to porn
*I've had an abortion
*When it comes to Christianity I'm a hypocrite

These are just examples or things that Ive had girls tell me lately.... Are any of these yours? I may not have mentioned yours. You fill in the blank. Girls these are real issues... Now why am I making you think about this? I have some news that I want you to realize... YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Seeing that I want to go into counseling God has given me some awesome opportunities to talk to girls. Some share more than others, but here is the deal. We each have a past. If you don't then praise God! You are about one in a million. Satan wants you to think that you are all alone and that no one cares. That is the furthermost thing from the truth. I know personally that Ive had a few secrets of my own that NO one knew. People were shocked when they find out. I try to not sound surprised when girls tell me things, but they do such a great job of covering it up that no one even suspects that anything is wrong. Please do not get the wrong or have any preconceived ideas.... I'm not friends with all these girls from off the streets or anything like this.  Yes I have some friends who aren't in Church, but most of the girls I talk to are regular church members. Girls who act as if life is perfect. You are not the only one who has ever made the mistake you made or been taken advantage of the way you were. You're not.... I can promise you that.

So, now that you know you aren't alone what should you do? I do not advise you telling your secret to just anyone.... People who seem to be your best friend can easily turn their back on you. Choose someone you can for sure trust! You may have tried opening up to someone before and they just hurt you. Been there... but not everyone is like that. People care about you.....Satan doesn't want you to believe that though. Church leaders are great! If they don't know how to help you or you need help past just a listening ear they can get you the help you need. If you can, talk to your parents. I highly advise that one!! Talk to a school counselor. You know who you can talk to! Just like the secret... as soon as i mentioned talk to someone you had someone pop into your mind! Of course, just like everything else.... pray first! Seek God and see who HE would have you talk to! Then talk to that person! You may say, "I just need to get over it.", but the only way you can is by talking it out... you need to have someone that will just listen to you and by no means judge you.

We've talked about not being bound by sin, but this can be the same thing. Your secret can bind you and make you feel as if you, "Aren't normal" or that you do not have a choice, but to keep your mask on. People would think you were a freak if they knew the real you! Not at all babe... Are you going to let you secret hold you back from being who God created you to be any longer? I propose that you don't... :)

With more care than you can imagine,
JEN

P.S. There are some secrets that I mentioned above that need legal attention. I have a friend who is a professional counselor who will be writing a post about those issues soon!