How Far is too Far?

I taught this past Wednesday night to a youth group on sex and how far is too far. I came up with three basic questions to help in deciding how far is too far. Personally I believe that everyone’s standards and limits are different. There is no perfect line that if you cross you have sinned, but if you don’t cross it you are perfectly fine. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was though? Sadly there isn’t so here are just a few questions to ask yourself and if you are honest I believe that you will come up with how far is too far for you!

~ Would you want your future husband to be touched the way you are touching your boyfriend?

~Does it even remotely disturb you that God can see what you are doing alone with your boyfriend?

~When you have to have that hard talk with your future husband about how far you have gone and with how many guys will you regret the decisions you are making now?

Comment and let me know what you think! This is a tough issue and it is something we really want to hit head on. Let me know your thoughts! :)

JEN

Can Guys and Girls Be Friends?

If I could only count how many times I've heard this question or asked it myself. What do you think? Over the last semester or so I've really began to dig into this question and figure it out. Yes, for everyone it is different and every situation is different yet from what I've observed and lived out in my own life I do believe it is possible. I whole heartily believe that it can be awkward at times and get sticky, but it is not impossible. What does the Bible say about it? Honestly it says nothing that I can find although it does talk about how to be a friend. Shouldn't this apply to being friends with guys? I think so.

Here is the real deal... In friendships we have basic rules/guidelines that if you follow these it will make for a good or at least decent friendship. These guidelines are those such as be honest, be caring, do not talk about the person behind their back, be real with them, enjoy and appreciate their friendship, and value them as a person. This is common sense right? Why do we so freak out when it comes to guys? Below is a typical scenario.....

Guy (Bob) and girl (Sally) are friends. They are cool with each other and just like to have fun. No big pressure or anything. They just have alot in common and enjoy each others company. Well one day Bob gets the bright idea in his mind that he might like Sally. She just happens to be looking extra pretty one day and he notices her in a different light. Well sally finds out and it completely freaks her out. How could he like her?! She thought they were just friends. Didn't they discuss this before? So she calls her friend Hannah to get advice on the situation and to see if she can believe that he likes her. Hannah is applaud by the news and advises Sally to just kinda back off. Don't say anything to him bc you might hurt hum, but just don't really hang out with him much and he will get the idea. So sally takes Hannah's advice. She isn't completely rude to him, but it is obvious that their friendship has changed. Along the way Sally doesn't really tell many people or at least unless they ask or mention his name. besides she is still in shock and all weirded out that he even likes her.

So, that may be a tad over dramatic, but if you are honest you know it is to an extent realistic. What is wrong with this picture? First off, Sally needs to keep her everlovin mouth shut. I know it is easier said than done, but girls we are called to be above board and if we were to be completely honest we often times bad mouth guys. How is that honoring Christ? You do not need to go ask someone for advice. You know what you need to do! If you are maybe confused about your feelings than ask someone older and wiser, not your peers. That is gossip. We need to Keep.Our.Mouth.Shut! Secondly, was she ever honest with him about her feelings? No. She took Hannah's advice and just kinda ignored him. What kind of friend is that? Yes, it may hurt for just a second for him to hear that you do not feel the same way back, but goodness do you not think that it would hurt just as bad if not worse for you to ignore him and act all weird around him? He will figure it out eventually and by then he will just have been hurt more. Be a woman of integrity and have the guts to have a honest open conversation. Of course be nice when breaking the news to him. Do not avoid the situation though. For lack of better words that is being a coward. Do not do it through txt or email (Unless he told you that way). Once again, have integrity and face him. Next, why are we so surprised when a guy likes us? Last semester I honestly dealt with this alot. My roommate and I were constantly saying "Why does he like me?!" when here is the reality... You are a Godly, sweet, beautiful woman. He obviously from the beginning has seen something in you that he liked or he would not have wanted to be your friend. So why are you so surprised? I do not know you personally, but I am sure there is no reason for a guy not to like you. Quit being so shocked and surprised! Of course do not get a big head or none of the guys will like you, but a little reality never hurt anyone! A guy would be lucky to have you!

With all that said it is normal for there to be times in friendships where one or the other likes the other one. It is really not as big as we make it. We over exaggerate and then it causes everything to be awkward which then makes the friendship rocky. Just be real. He is not a freak for liking you.... so why do we treat them as such?

Being Real!

JEN

Death... Where is your sting?

Hey girls! SO sorry for the lapse in posting! It has been quite a while since I really posted. As I mentioned in my previous post about my life I mentioned that my grandfather died and since then I've been wanting to post about death, but I just haven’t found the right words. Hopefully I will today! :)

If you have ever lost someone you loved you know the feelings. It’s kind of gut wrenching. Some people respond by crying and others hold it in and never let it show. Does it hurt everyone though? Yes, no matter how they show it. My grandfather was an amazing man. If you had been at his funeral you would have known it. For about two hours the line was out the back of the funeral home. The kind words of his former pastors were oh so true. As people came through the line they would tell me of how some time or another my grandfather had helped them. After all of this a truth began to roll through my thoughts... At the end of my life what will people say at my funeral? Not in a vain way of I hope they think I'm a great person, but in the way of I hope I've touched as many lives as he did. On a tomb stone you have the age the person was born and then a dash (-) and then the day they died. That small little dash represents a whole life. When I am no longer living what will that dash represent? At my funeral the people there will represent the life that I lived. Strangers do not come to a funeral. People who you in some small way impacted their life comes. More than even that I truly believe that in Heaven you will see all the kids you ever taught that accepted Christ, the people you met in that far away country on a mission trip, the sick that you prayed for even though you did not know them, and many more who you did not even know you impacted. It is not about what you did although your life does matter. Yes, my grandfather lived many wonderful years. He packed his years full of life, work, and fun. What happens if you do not get the chance to live as long as he did? Is your life still worth something? Do NOT wait until you are older to begin living. NOW is the time. We are not promised tomorrow..... With that said, if you were to die today where would you spend eternity? I've talked in this post as if I assume you will go to Heaven, but I have no way of knowing that. Only you and God know that. In John 14:6 Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life... No man comes to the father, but by me." Knowing Jesus personally is the ONLY way a person will get to Heaven. Do you know Him? Oh I’m sure you have heard talk about Him and probably talked about Him some yourself, but when it comes down to that final day will you know without a doubt that you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Acts 16:31 states that if you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ you WILL be saved. Do you have this confidence? I can tell you this.... As we stood around my dying grandfather’s bed yes some of us were crying and it was hard to watch him lay there, but we had a peace. We knew as soon as he took his last breath here he would enter into eternal Heaven! Oh what a wonderful thought that is. As much as I love my life I kind of wanted to go with him! Yes, we miss him and will until we get to Heaven, but there is a comfort and peace knowing that we will see him again someday. Do you have that peace?

You can have it today.... There is no special prayer or thing you have to do. You just have to be real with God and tell Him that you have messed up and that you have done wrong things. That on your own power you cannot get to Heaven. Share that you believe in Him and that you believe He is who He says He is and that you believe he died on the cross for you, but did not stay dead. These are powerful truths that you must believe whole heartedly. With all that said just simply tell Him that you love Him and that you want to spend the rest of eternity with Him. You want your dash in life to be worth something!

I have no idea who reads this blog and I especially have no idea how you stand with God. I do know that I'm praying for you though... I pray that if you have not believed in Jesus that you will today because as I stated earlier we are not promised next breath, let alone tomorrow!

Love,

JEN

Visitor Post- Giann :)

Hey Y'all! My name is Giann and I blog over at JoyisnotHappiness.blogspot.com. I asked Jen if I could write a guest post for yall and she said yes! :) So, here it goes....

I created a Facebook almost two years ago. It's a great way to stalk stay in touch with people who live far away or in your backyard. :)

One of the many rules I have regarding Facebook friends, surprises people. I do have the rule "Don't invite/accept people you don't know in real life." (Honestly, that rule should be plastered on peoples head's. That's the number one mistake they make.)

Anyway, one of the personal rules I have amazes some people. Actually, most everybody I tell it too.

The Rule? Guys have to invite me first.

Why?  Guys are the Initiators.

Let me explain further.....

For those that know me in real life, not just on the world wide web, know I tend to take charge, be a leader, etcetera. Nothing is wrong with those traits at all. In fact, I think they're good traits to have. ;)

While those character qualities can be beneficial in some areas, relationships with guys is not one of them. It can actually lead to role reversal if you aren't too careful. 

In the Spring of 2010, the LORD began working in this area of my life. Reading one of Leslie Ludy's books, the LORD revealed to me how I had taken the initiative in my relationships with guys. I was the one leading the relationship, not the guy. So, I started asking the LORD how I could let the guys in my life lead.

Simple Answer: Facebook Invites. (actually, it was texting at first then I decided on FB too.)

Silly, I know.

Worth it, totally! :) 

By applying that rule, it has allowed me the privilege of seeing guys rise up and be the initiators God created them to be! Its actually quite cool when I get a FB invite from a guy. Kinda makes me smile. :)

So girls, my challenge to you is simple - Ask the LORD how YOU can let the guys in your life be initiators! It might be something completely different than mine and thats okay! :) But I promise, if you ask the LORD, you will not be disappointed! 

Thanks for reading! :) 

Giann

Catching up on Life! :)

Hey girls! I haven't blogged in foreverrrrrr... How was your Christmas?! Mine was good! Normally I do not do a personal blog post, but I want to catch you up on my life! My life is to interesting not to tell someone! jk

Anyway... Where to begin... My Christmas break from school was really good. It started off all calm and I got to catch up with lots of old friends! Then it began picking up some. In good and bad ways. Let's start with the bad and save the best to last! ;) Deal?

My grandfather (papa) became very sick before Christmas, but did not go to the hospital until the day after Christmas. He fought a tough battle, but on the 12th of January he went to be with the Lord. It was a tough couple of weeks.... My eyes were open to multiple things though, which I will blog about at a later time. Please do pray for my family during this time of loss though.

Something good that happened though is I got a hair cut! It was by mistake, but i ended up really liking it!!

I went as a youth leader to winterfest in Gatlinburg, Tennesee with about 25 kids! It was a blast!

New Years Eve Concert!

The best room of girls EVER!

Friends for life!

This is what happens after a long weekend with all of those youth....lol

I also began dating an amazing Christian guy! His name is Matt! :)

 After playing in the rain! :)

 Yes... We had a blast playing at the park!

You have to make faces just to make life more enjoyable!

I almost forgot.... I have been working extremly hard in picking up attendace in my childrens sunday school class and it is working! When i began we had about 3 in my classroom and we are now averaging 12! It makes my heart happy! :) Here is a pic of all of the kids at the Christmas party!

I love you girls! Hope you have a great rest of the week! :)

JEN

The beauty within Women!

What does being feminine mean to you? Is it something negative or great? Do you imagine some silent girl who never causes a disturbance or do you see someone who is comfortable in herself, yet still graceful in her approach to life. I began pondering this myself after a guy commented on how attractive feminism is to guys. It all started with the comment of how guys like girls who wear skirts. My first response was to inform them of how hard it would be to wear a skirt all of the time. Being men, I figured they needed to understand the hardship we ladies have.... :) Anyway though as it continued they discussion it was obvious that they did not expect us to wear skirts all the time or have a baby on our hip constantly. They simply saw feminism as beautiful. I wondered why. I mean that is so opposite our culture. Our culture says women are to fight for their rights, stand strong, never back down, do everything better than a man, and all in all show who is boss. Is this feminism? In my mind, no. I have discussed submission on here before. They kind of go together. Here is the thing... God made us a certain way and no matter how hard we try to change it His way is going to work better no matter what. His way is beautiful and perfect. I choose to rest in that. With that said, what does God's idea of a feminine woman look like? What do you think? I really began to pray about this and look into God's word and see what it says. There are some obviously strong verses about how women are suppose to dress and act. I considered those and I also considered being culturally relevant. Since then I have realized that there is a balance. Such as the skirt comment. No, guys do not expect girls to wear skirts all the time, but they do find it attractive. Are we to be silent and never share our opinion? No. We shouldn’t be loud and always have to have the final say though either. There are lines that can be pushed, but the bottom line is that God made women to be a man’s helpmeet and a man was not made to cook, clean, birth babies, or care for people with tenderness. Yes, they can do those things (except for the birthing of course!) and women can do the same exact things that men can. Is this natural though? Is it beautiful? Is it empowering? No. I firmly believe it is not. Yes, I can check my oil, take my trash out, pump my own gas and many other things just like a guy. I'm here to tell you though that if a guy offers to do it I will let him. I do not have to prove I'm better than him.

So why am I saying this? I want to encourage you to embrace your feminism. Enjoy being a woman! If you enjoy fishing, hunting, sports and other things like that go for it! Enjoy life. Do not neglect or degrade the gift you have of being a lady though. Get dressed up sometime. Take pride in cooking and taking care of the men in your life. Women seek to find what their "Purpose in life" is while all the time it is right before them. We are to support the men in our lives whether it be dad, husband, etc. Now again, do not get me wrong... We women are strong and we can succeed in whatever we set our mind to! I'm convinced that God gave us women secret powers that only women have! We can do 9,000 at one time and do each one of them well. That has to be a super power. :) In our battle to succeed though we cannot lose sight that God created us as females to be feminine. It was His perfect and holy design. Let's do our best to not mess that up!

JEN

PLEASE watch this!!