Monday, November 29, 2010

Testimony Tuesday!

What's up everyone? Well it's time for one of my famous rants again, though I know they do happen randomly. Lately this issue has really come to mind and I've given it great thought, so just thought I'd share with everyone my own take on this topic. I've heard so many people say, and everyday I see it, people more and more are turning towards marriage before they even really know the person they're with. Not to be mistaken, love is a wonderful feeling, but also you have to have a clear head and realize what a HUGE step marriage is. Now this is coming from a guy who's never had a relationship longer than 3 months so some of you might not take me seriously, but sometimes wisdom doesn't come from ones own experience; sometimes it comes from the experience of observing others. Recently I was talking to a female friend of mine and we were talking about past relationships, and the topic of not getting to know a person enough before taking a step such as marriage came into play.
I'll start out with the simple fact of what love does to us all. It can make us feel invincible, trusting and loved, but sometimes it can also leave us vulnerable, which is why it's important to think with a clear head. Most young people like myself you dive straight into marriage before getting to know their significant other really don't realize what they're stepping into. We have to understand, marriage is a commitment, a sacrifice, and it's opening your lives to someone, and I'll just go ahead and tell all of you THE PHYSICAL ASPECTS WILL ONLY TAKE YOU SO FAR!!! Two people could be together for years, but if they don't know the first thing about one another, one day they eventually wake up miserable because they realize they don't know the first thing about the person they spend their lives with everyday, which opens up the door for other issues. Not to be mistaken, there always will be physical aspects in relationships, and they are crucial and a great things, BUT if there is no substance (things you get to know specifically about the other person) there will always be something missing.

Over the years I've watched friends, and others come and go, and within a couple of weeks get married and think that they are prepared, when really they don't have the slightest clue. I've never been married myself and won't be until I know I can provide for a family, but some things are just common sense. Love is a great feeling, but as I stay before, you have to stay level-headed, because if not, you can slip easily. All I'm telling my generation and generations after me is GET TO KNOW THE PERSON!!!!! I can't make it any more clear. Think before you act because there are consequences for everything, and I certainly wouldn't want to put someone I love and care for in the kind of situation where things are so uncertain. It wouldn't be fair to either me or the person I was with. THINK BEFORE YOU ACT, BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY THE DECISION DOES NOT ONLY AFFECT YOU...


Saturday, November 27, 2010

Crazy Blogging! :)

So lately I've been blogging more bc I've been home on Thanksgiving break! Hopefully I will keep it up! :)

This is a challenge, but i want you to take it seriously... From what I've heard from other girls and what I've experienced myself is it seems impossible to remain pure until marriage. Maybe with the "big" things like no sex until marriage (for some girls that even seems impossible!) don't seem impossible, but the little things do. The things like giving your heart away to a guy or as so many girls expressed becoming emotionally attached. Maybe it is giving a kiss away... one at a time. Maybe to you it's more or maybe it's less. Each person is different. The point is at times it can seem like marriage will never get here and there is no way on earth you can stay pure until then! I've heard girls say that exact thing over and over...

So, what can you do? Here is my idea, fight it as a daily battle. Do not think of it as 5 years before you get married. Think of it as one more day. I'm not big into journaling, but i do some during hard or tempting times. I kept a journal that i will most likely give to my husband one day and at the end of each day I would write down how I had waited for him... whether it pushing a guy away from kissing me, whether it be I turned down a guy bc i knew he wasn't the right one, maybe it was just choosing to control my thoughts, or some days it is just simply that i was so lonely yet with joy i waited for him. Now are you going to succeed every day? No. At least i know I don't! You will make mistakes, but most likely not near as many bc you will not feel near as hopeless. You may not want to write it down, but find a way to keep up with it. Maybe have a friend that you talk to alot who you can tell, "I waited". The best part about this is when you feel like you cant wait and you want to give up you can either go back and read or have your friend remind you of all the times you did succeed and if you've done it before you can do it again!!

I challenge you to begin your day asking God to help you fight the battle and lay down at night thanking Him for the victory! If you didn't have a victory praise God for what He will do tomorrow!

Girl... As my roommate says, "You got this!" You are stronger than you know and with God there is not one doubt in my mind that you can not remain pure until your wedding day!!

Much love,

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thought Filled Thursday!


What are some things you are thankful for??

Here are some that I'm thankful for!
~My dad's job!!! (If you havent heard the story... dad went without a job for almost 4 years. Within the last mont he got a job! PRAISE THE LORD!)
~My family and home (Never realized how much i loved home until I moved out!)
~My friends in the blog world! You guys lift me up everytime you leave a comment!
~ More than anything else though... My God!

What are you thankful for today??


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Satan's Lies....

Hey gals! So, I have to say I loved reading your honest responses on the last post. One thing that I've really been dealing with lately is listening to Satan's lies. You know some lies are easy to distinguish as lies, but others not so much. What do i mean? It's the daily lies such as, "You aren't good enough", "That person thinks I'm an idiot.", "I cant do this.", or "You are the only person who ever deals with this." Have you ever thought any of these things? One of the coolest things about the last post was the question of what do you struggle with. Many girls answered the same thing! I believe it would astound many girls if they knew just how many other girls dealt with the same things they did day after day...moment by moment. I'm by no means saying every girl should just air out all her dirty laundry and let everyone know her dark little secrets. I am encouraging you to find someone who you can trust, someone who is living for the same God as you, someone who has the same morals as you!

This is also what I'm saying... You DO NOT have to believe Satan's lies! If you are feeling worthless, unloved, alone, or like you are the only one who struggles with temptation I want you to see that these are lies! There are NOT true!! As a precious teen girl said in youth last week, "God doesn't make no junk!"!

The other side of this is you often do not know what another girl is thinking about herself. It is safe to assume though that she is not thinking, "I'm beautiful!" (Unless she has a naturally big or thinking "Everyone wants to be my friend!". What does that mean to us? Encourage someone! You may never know how much they needed it.

For those of you reading this right now... You are not alone! I am praying for you and i care. I may not know what is going on in your life, but I do know that as long as you have God on your side you will make it through it!

With care,

Friday, November 19, 2010


1. What are some things you would like in your future husband?

2. Do you believe you are ready for marriage?

3. What attracts you to a guy?

4. What makes you feel most "Loved" by a guy?

5. What is your biggest struggle as far as physical and emotional purity?

I cant wait to hear your answers!! :)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Word-filled Wednesday

" It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. "

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Testimony Tuesday!

This is a note I wrote on facebook a week or so and i thought it would be perfect for Testimony Tuesday (Even though it is technically wed it still counts as Tuesday!!)!

So, I went back and forth about writing this, but God just wouldn't let up so I guess someone needs to hear it! What is a testimony? In Jennifer's simple opinion it is a churchy word meaning a persons story. Whether it be full of heart ache, joy, good deeds, mistakes, or whatever it may be. It is still their story and no one else's. Why am I talking about this? I was reminded Sunday night just how powerful a testimony is. The Bible in Revelation 12:11 says, "And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb, and because of the word of their testimony." The blood is Jesus' blood and it is our testimony that the verse is referring to! We can overcome satan by Christ blood and our testimonies!! I believe we often underestimate the power of a person's story. I know i do. We think we have to have some preacher who knows all this scripture and comes across as if they are perfect, but in all reality a person who is willing to be used by God and willing to share their story they are just as useful! This past Sunday we had a night where the youth led the whole service. Of course us as leaders were nervous about everything going right. We decided to ask the teens if any of them would like to share their testimony. Surprisingly we had 4 timid hands raise. Each had a different story. Please do not get the idea that these youth were from perfect homes. As they talked i along with many others began to cry.... as they shared how divorce, losing parents, alcoholic father, abusive stepfathers, and many other things had caused them pain that they couldn't even explain. They then got to the part of how Jesus had saved them and now they had a reason to live!! They didn't use big words, speak for hours, or use any verses. They shared their heart.... and bc they were faithful to do so lives were changed! 3 Young ladies came to Christ that night! Again, it was nothing special. Just a few teens willing to get up and claim the name of Christ! Are you willing to do that or are you holding back? God has done something in your life and only you've had that experience! So my challenge today is quit saying, "My testimony is no good" or "My testimony wont reach anyone". You have NO idea how God will use you!!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Thought Filled Thursday!

"I'm not single and looking; I'm single and following. Following God into the arms of whoever He has for me." ~ Amber S (My roomie!)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Quit looking!

Hey darlin!

What do you do when someone tells you to not look? You automatically look don't you? Well, hopefully after reading this post you will not do that exact thing. I see girl after girl "looking" for a man. They claim to not be desperate, yet it is obvious to everyone else. They are willing to settle. They are constantly talking about it and constantly thinking about it. Constantly considering what could get a guys attention or if they dressed a little less modestly and sway their hips as they walk by would that make him notice her? The sad part is these aren't just the "sluts" as we call them. These are the girls that are in our Churches every Sunday.... Girls, please understand I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but it is about time someone stepped up and pointed out how this is not the way God made it! Before I even begin though... I'm not referring to the mans vs woman's rights. We are just simply discussing how if we as girls were as crazy about God as we are boys it would turn this world upside down! We've all been in this place from time to time. We get caught up with "match makers" or being one. Can I just say right now.... GOD IS THE ULTIMATE MATCH MAKER! We as women want to be loved, appreciated, and given attention. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. The problem comes in when we want it so bad that we will do anything to get it. So, what should you do if you are like the girl I described earlier? I wish it was as easy as just saying stop, but it's not. It takes a change of heart, meaning you become content in Christ and not desperate for a humans love. Also, it means that you believe that God has a better plan than you or I could ever imagine (Jeremiah 29:11)!

I can tell you now... It is when you quit looking that you are able to see God's will and it is as if He simply drops the person into your lap! Honey, If you feel as if you have to have a guy begin falling in love with God and that will totally change! Not that you will not want a guy, but you will not be dependant on one. You will be dependant on God!! I remember after I had made a few mistakes and God had given me quite an awakening i began the journey to being content... it wasn't easy and wasn't at that time what I wanted to be doing, but i wouldn't change it for a thing in this world! A quote from the book Lady in Waiting describes my heart during this time... "Rather than staying home another 'dateless' Saturday night, realize how much valuable time has been entrusted to you at this point in your life. Rather than resent your many single hours, embrace them as a gift from God- A package containing opportunities to serve Him that are limited to only your self pity and lack of obedience." This is the prime time of your life! This is the time you can make friendships that you might not be able to later. More than that... This is a prime time for you to draw closer to God!! Of course you will continue growing closer to God once you get married, but while you are single you have more time to be alone and you do not have someone who takes up your time. So take this time captive and enjoy your single years!! Over the last couple of years I've fallen in love with God more than i ever thought possible and I have so much farther to go, but this is my point.... It is possible to be content with God! Are you ok with out a boyfriend? If you have one, would you be ok without him? It's worth thinking about... Do you spend more time thinking/ talking about God or some guy?

Sold out for Him,

Friday, November 5, 2010

Thought Filled Thursday...

For those of us who are Christians this world is the closest we will ever get to hell, but those who arent saved this world is the closest they will ever get to Heaven.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Word Filled Wednesday!!

Nehemiah 8:10 The joy of the Lord is my strength!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Testimony Tuesday!

For years the Holy Spirit had been ministering to my heart and in my life. I had known of Christ and His sacrificial work on Calvary since I was a young child, but I never fully understood the significance of it all until after I was awakened to the filth of my sin. Previously, I had been involved with alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, and home violence. I was extremely bitter and filled with hatred. When I was 13, I had an emotional response during a youth camp retreat, but the experience was only the introduction to what it was like to witness the work of the Holy Spirit. I was very active at Ebenezer Baptist Church, but I burned out quickly. I had heard the story of Christ on the cross preached many times throughout my life and each time I would leave the church pondering upon the sermon I had just sat through. However, within the next 24hrs my life would return to its’ shameful banter.

From the time I was a little girl, I was made aware of the power of men. It seemed as though every few years a new man, cousin, or stranger would enter my life, ravage my body and leave me broken and afraid. Love became nothing but a shallow word I would hear spoken yet never demonstrated. Sex and touch was simply an act of degradation. Rape was a picture I was familiar with. At the sound of the word even to this day, I imagine a strong, dark man holding a knife to my throat as he takes his guilty pleasure. No matter the places I hid or the people I sought help from, I would found I was alone in the darkness. By the time I was 18 I had been molested by eight different people in eight different places. Quickly I learned to kill my emotions. My motto was “Never cry. Tears are a sign of weakness and vulnerability. I must be strong for those around me, for myself or I will never survive. I am the observant one. I am the protector at all costs.”

At the age of 17, I was withdrawn from high school and restricted from any access to my friends and extended family. My sisters were under the same limitations. My parents were entering into what would become a long, grievous divorce trial. My mom, sisters, and I were all living in our rental house in Rougemont, NC while our dad was living in Sterling, VA. Prior to our exclusion from society, I had come to my breaking point and decided that I could no longer live the way I was living (i.e. drinking, partying, anger, etc.). I knew that the way I had chosen to live was shameful and wrong. My mom, sisters, and I then decide to begin searching out God. We researched many Jewish rituals and even resulted to burnt offerings to try to appease the “wrath God had placed on our lives.” We were utterly lost and presumed by many to be the abandoned lost cause. We eventually left our home and everything in it. We lost all of our belongings due to being evicted. My family was homeless. It was during this time that I began to become annoyed with my mother. She seemed to be growing in her new found faith, whereas I was stalled. I was still wallowing in my bitterness, yet she was progressive in her trust in the Almighty God to provide for us.

About a year after jumping from cheap motels to rest stops, we were finally given the chance to move into a house that was located in Timberlake, NC about thirty minutes away from our previous residence in Rougemont, NC. The house had no heat and no furniture. We slept on the floor with blankets for about two weeks until we had enough money to buy inflatable mattresses. My family and I thought that this would be a turning point in our lives, but about one month after living there the owner came up to me outside of this house and asked who we were. The utilities had been cut off and he was infuriated. It was about a week away from Thanksgiving and he told us to get out of his house. The lady who claimed that we could move into her home was in fact trying to escape her rental contract with him. Once again we were kicked out, but this man did have mercy on us. He allowed us to spend Thanksgiving in the house and he cut on the utilities for us.

We left and spent Christmas through early May in a Motel 6 in Burlington, NC. May 4, 2007 we expected to receive our bi-weekly “family fee” that had been ordered by the judge. However, no money was deposited into momma’s account. Everyone began to panic to the point of contemplating suicide. The pressure of our life was too much to bear. We had grown comfortable at this motel and with the people that had by circumstance, been forced to live there as well. Momma finally called dad’s construction company in VA. We found out that day that our daddy had been died for two weeks in his apartment, but he was not found until May 4, 2007. We went to VA where I was the only person legally capable of handling all of the funeral home arrangements (I was 18 at the time). I was not allowed to see my father due to the condition of his body’s decaying process.

Two weeks after we arrived in VA, mom had to break down and call her mom for help and a place to live. The option of waiting it out in our dad’s rancid apartment was no longer available. We then travelled to Albany, GA where my family now resides.

Shortly after moving in with my grandmother, I started to attend the church of my childhood. The pastor had retired, but the church was still running. I attended every time it was possible. One Sunday morning as a guest speaker began to preach about forgiveness, I realized the weight of my own negligence to forgive. I finally understood the weight of my sin and shame; the affect of it on my life. I knew I needed to be forgiven because I had purposefully and intentionally spat in the face of God on several accounts. Suddenly, I could recall vividly the moments that I called out to God in anger and screamed at Him. “I know you exist, but you are nothing to me and you never will be. I don’t want anything to do with you. Stay away from me!” The Holy Spirit convicted me of my actions, thoughts, and words that had pierced the very heart of the only Holy One who was both, willing and able to save me from myself. Christ, fully God and yet fully man had lived on this Earth ministering to both Jew and Gentile. He was betrayed and murdered on a cross; the most disgraceful death of that time for the hope that I might be redeemed and sanctified by His atoning sacrifice. Christ was raised on the third day and seated at the right hand of the Most High God where He now reigns for all eternity. This Christ was sacrificed so that I might be forgiven. This Christ had died for me.

I remember sobbing in my pew as I prayed that Christ would forgive me. I repented of my sins and asked Christ to come into my heart and life and completely strip away all that I was. I began to tell the Father about the pain I held inside and how disgusted I was with my past. “All that I have is yours, but it is broken and fragile. You will have to fix me.” Some people in the service came and prayed for me as I wept. When I returned home I told my family that I had finally given everything over to Christ and that I was finally ready to commit my life to Him. Shortly after my conversion, I was asked to teach Sunday school for the younger students in 4th-6th grade. I also volunteered to clean the church. The difference between my first experience and this one was that there was fruit of the work of the Spirit in my life. I not only held the desire to live for Christ, but sought Him out through His word and through intimate, daily communion with Him in prayer.

Now I attend Southeastern Bible College where I am studying to receive my degree in Biblical Studies with an emphasis in Counselling. I have been so blessed to serve in positions of leadership over the women on campus. The Father has not only matured me in Him, but blessed me beyond measure. Through everything I experienced in my life thus far, the sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, losing everything twice, experiencing the life of the homeless and forgotten, and searching for the forgiving love, God has been faithful. He will remain faithful to the end and nothing will ever separate me from the love of the Father because of the sacrificial offering of Christ on the cross. I am set free. I have been changed and my feet have been firmly established on the righteous path. My name is no longer filled with shame and destitution, but righteousness and grace. By His atoning grace, I am the redeemed .