Thursday, December 31, 2009

Average Girl- Barlow Girl lyrics

So what I'm not your average girl
I don't meet the standards of this world
Chasing after boys is not my thing
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring

No more dating I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty
My prince will come for me
No more dating I'm just waiting
'Cause God is writing my love story

Boys are bad that's certainly not true
'Cause God's preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
Gods arms are the perfect place to run

Sleep that's the only thing
For me 'cause when I sleep
Gods Preparing one for me

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Word Filled Wednesday!

Today I'd like to share with you from one of my favorite books of the Bible, James.

James 1:2-4 says "Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Now, the word is not saying you should wake up in the morning and say "God, I just love trials! Could you send one my way?" But rather that you should take joy in the fact that when you are going through a trial, it simply means God is working in your life! Remember if he brings you to it, he'll lead you through it!

Love, Kat

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Initiators and Responders

Yes, I'm crossing into dangerous territory here. But I really think this needs to be addressed, because it can heavily effect the purity of a relationship. Today I'm going to talk about the concept of guys being initiators and girls being responders. I really encourage my friends to adopt this concept, and if you haven't already, I hope after reading this you will.

Let's start with a basic definition of the concept. It literally means what it says. Guys initiate the big relationship decisions. Girls respond to the decisions. For instance, guys should be the ones to ask girls out, and girls should be the ones to say yes or no to the offers. You see what I mean? Essentially all this means is that the guys pursue the girls, not the other way around.

Now that we have a basic definition let's talk about the various places this does or does not apply. Okay, well obviously it applies in the asking out area. Okay girls be honest, do you really want to ask the guy yourself? Or would you rather him step up and be a man and take his rightful role? In a culture where we are raised on fairy tales of Prince Charming searching relentlessly for Cinderella, I doubt you really wanna ask him yourself. This can even translate over to the purity area. When you late him initiate it, he can be more in control of himself. Where as if you initiate it, he could be caught off guard and not able to resist the urge to push further. Now I'm not saying he won't push further anyway. But that's where being a responder comes into play. As the responder, you have the right at anytime to say "no more" or "we have to stop now." You're not totally helpless. Another thing, I think we may have mentioned this before, but I'm not sure. The guy should be the one to say I love you for the first time. There's something about that, it's just a man's job. And then you know you are not pressuring the guy to move the relationship forward faster than he is comfortable. Okay, now this doesn't mean you can't ever be the one to call him. In fact, it might be a nice way to let him know you were thinking of him. But it does mean you shouldn't ALWAYS be the one initiating the phone calls. It doesn't mean you can't ever (within a relationship) suggest y'all do something, but you shouldn't be doing it all the time. He needs to take initiative most of the time.

The last part I want to cover is why we should do this. Perhaps I should have mentioned it sooner, but I'd like to you to leave this post with the reasons fresh on your mind. I really like the way Leslie Ludy phrases the first reason in her book "Answering the Guy Questions." (an excellent book about purity standards and romance the way God intended). Ludy says, "I have yet to meet a woman who dreams of a wimpy, insecure guy who has no clue how to lead or take the initiative in a relationship. But few women realize that when they steal a guy's position and become the initiator rather than the responder, they shape men into wimps, not warriors." Okay, so that's a pretty good reason. My next reason is basically this, when a girl goes and asks a guy out it can often make her look desparate, and as if she isn't trusting God with her relationship. Have you ever thought of this? If God designed the relationship, he'd give the guy the guts to stand up and make the first move. I know that's pretty tough to accept, but if God want a relationship to happen, he'll make it happen. My last reason is God commands submission. Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." No, we aren't married yet, but HELLO! Wake up call! Relationships lead to marriage!!! If you start the relationship off on the wrong foot, then it will not be easy to submit to him once you are married. Where as if you practice submission and let him be the initiator, you're setting the relationship up better. And you are better preparing yourself for a Christ-centered marriage. Well that's pretty much all I have to say about this. Thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with my take on this?

love, Kat

Monday, December 28, 2009

Carrie-Beth's Story!

Hey girls, I just wanted to share with you one of my experiences in dating with a Christ centered heart (or at least an attempt at that. ;)) Here's a little back story first on my relationship : I met my boyfriend at my church in my youth group. He's a great Christian guy, always talking about his faith, working in missions at church, and he really has a heart for his lost friends. We became friends quickly and got along really well. Within 3 weeks of meeting me, he asked me out. I wasn't ready at the time to commit to a relationship with anyone, and I had recently been hurt by a guy and I wasn't sure how ready I was to interpret my feelings at that time, so I turned him down. Well I thought that was was over and done. I was wrong. haha. About 2 weeks after I turned him down, I started liking HIM. yeah. So I told him what was going on, and that I just needed time to pray about it and to figure things out. I told him that at any point, I wouldn't blame him for moving on. I prayed about this decision for 2 months before I finally decided. (In the mean time we got to know each other much better and became good friends). And what honestly stuck out to me the most, was that he waited. He liked me enough to wait until God told me what to do. That was a huge deal to me...that someone liked me enough to wait. Anyway, long story short we started dating in August, and have been dating for almost 5 months now. It has been one of the most wonderful experiences I've had, mainly because we are both so in love with Christ, and our committment is to Him above all else. My point in my back story is WAIT. Pray about a guy before you date him. Is this guy the person God has for you at this time? If you aren't sure, keep praying. If the guy truely likes you, and is a young man of God, he will wait until the Lord speaks to you about it. (But not like a year...the guy might not wait that long. haha. But you get my point).

Okay, that I've probably already bored you with's my story.

Not too long ago, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone. We were discussing how we wanted our relationship to be committed to Christ and His purpose for our it. We decided that, although from the beginning we had done that in our hearts individually to God, we wanted to talk about it and verbally say it. So basically we talked about how our relationship is unto God, and how we want to glorify Him in every aspect of it. How when people look at us, we want them to see him. We discussed how we want everything we do individually and as a couple to praise God. We also said that the length of the relationship was committed to God as well. As long as the Lord kept blessing our relationship and we felt it was still in His will, we would continue our relationship without a second thought. :) But if God told us to end it, then we would pray about it and do what the Lord commanded. We also discussed faithfulness and other aspects of 1 Cor. 13 love, which are our goals in our relationship (since God set those standards for love, we try to meet them in our relationship).
Not 2 minutes after this conversation ended, I got a text message from a guy that I used to be friends, but hadn't seen or talked to in about 6 months (just because we ran in different circles, no "bad blood" or anything. haha). He asked how I was doing, and we went through those "beginning conversation topics" (how are you? good, you? good. whatcha doing? nothing much, you? etc.). Well during that, I found out that he was hanging out with his girlfriend. I was like "awe how sweet" :) and i really thought it was good. Well later in the conversation he asked me if i wanted to hang out. I said, where and who with? He told me just us and that day. UM NO! I told him that he was with his girlfriend and I wouldn't do that because we were both dating other people. He told me that he could get his girlfriend to leave, and that neither of them would have to know anything about it. REALLY? NO! I told him that I wouldn't ever do that, and I ended the conversation.
So let's look at this...not 2 minutes after my boyfriend and I committed our relationship to Christ and his will, purpose, and standards for us, this guy texts me and begins tempting me to more or less cheat on my boyfriend. Wow. Girls, when you committ something to the Lord, Satan is going to try his best to attack it and destroy it. I had always heard that, but I had never experienced it, and it didn't think that it would happen so quickly. But its so true! You have got to be firm in your committments to the Lord and be on your guard. You may not be attacked in the same way that I was, but when you commit something to God, you will be attacked by Satan in some way. Just keep watch, cover your relationship with prayer, and always seek to glorify God in all aspects of your life. Now, this story wasn't to say "oh look at me! i beat temptation! i'm God's perfect child! woohoo!" no way! haha. I am FAR from that. I have made more than my fair share of mistakes. But I am writing this to warn you, to help you be ready when temptation comes knocking at your door. You can beat it, but you need to be ready. Committ everything you have to God, especially your relationships, and He will bless you beyond your imagination. Trust me. But when you do that, Satan's gonna come knocking. Just be aware and prepared. I love you all and I hope that I have helped you, or can help you, in some way.

May our Lord and Savior bless you girls!
"The Lord bless you and watch, guard, and keep you;
The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious (kind, merciful, and giving favor) to you;
The Lord lift up His [approving] countenance upon you and give you peace (tranquility of heart and life continually)."
Numbers 6:24-26 (Amplified Bible)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Your way or God's way?

This will be short today, but I just wanted to put this out there... When you face a tough decision or need some help with something what do you do? Whats your first response? Be honest! I often have girls come to me about guys and different things and the truth is I rarely if ever have a straight answer that i know will work... Although, God always does! My dad use to have a saying when something went wrong with one of our computers. He would automatically say, "REBOOT" I didn't like it because I wanted HIM to solve my problems! It's the same thing with God... there is nothing wrong with asking a friend for help, but have you "rebooted" with God first? That would include praying and seeking His word! Now (After many times of asking dad to fix my computer problems!) I automatically reboot with out even being told. It should be the same way with God! So, next time you face something difficult remember to reboot with God!

With Care,

P.S. Im sorry it took so long to post! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Word filled Wednesday!

So, this is not the normal verse that you would expect on Christmas Eve's eve, but it has really been on my heart today and I would like to share it with you girls! It's Nehemiah 8:10b Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength! There are alot of people hurting this Christmas season... but the joy of the Lord is my strength!!! Is it yours?? MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Where's Your Focus? Part 2

Hey girls! Last week we started talking about not getting caught up in our lists and letting God orchestrate our romance and fill in the gaps. This week I'm gonna talk a little about the Proverbs 31 woman, and becoming a woman of God who is worthy of the man God has for us. To start with I'm gonna do my interpretation of Proverbs 31:10-31. If you aren't familiar with this passage, you may want to read it for yourself. Okay so here goes, Proverbs 31 Woman as told by me.

Who can find a respectful, classy wife?
She is worth a lot more than precious jewels.
Her husband is confident in her abilities and value.
She brings him good, not harm, throughout their life together.
She selects the best tools and is eager to work.
She is like an 18 wheeler, bringing the best food from various places.
She gets up early and prepares food for her household.
She considers property, and buys it to plant a vineyard.
She works hard and her arms are strong enough to do her tasks.
Her trading brings in a profit, and her light stays on all night.
She is handy with a sewing machine.
She welcomes in the poor, and works to help the needy.
She doesn't fear snow, she keeps her family well-dressed.
She makes blankets for her bed, and she wears fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected, and takes his seat among the leaders of the land.
She makes and sells linen garments, and provides sashes for the merchants.
She is strong and dignified, she can laugh at the future.
She is wise, and prepared to faithfully instruct.
She watches over her family, and she is not lazy.
Her children love and respect her, and her husband praises her good works.
Many woman do great things, but she surpasses them all.
Charm is deceptive and beauty won't last, but a woman who fears God is praiseworthy.
She will be rewarded and her works will be praised.

I don't know about you, but I feel challenged after reading that. You'd have to be superwoman to accomplish this. But let's take a different approach. What are the biggest messages we can take from this passage? I read this and I take about four things, 1) I must faithfully pursue God. 2) I must be ready to work hard at all times. 3) Laziness is not acceptable. 4) Respect, along with everything else in life, must be earned. Okay, so maybe I'm not good with a sewing machine, or I don't want to plant a vineyard, but the ultimate message from that is to work hard and be use your time wisely. Yeah, you probably won't be exactly like the Proverbs 31 Woman, but if you take those four messages and put them into practice, you will be rewarded.

My main point here is that we know we want a good guy. We have our lists, we're trusting God to fill in the details, but what about right now? What do we do with our time now. We pray, and work hard, and ask God to mold us into Proverbs 31 Women. I mean look at our other option, not pursuing God, not working, being lazy, and not being respected. Yeah, you might enjoy being lazy for a while, but it will hurt you in the long run. I mean, would you want to marry a man like that? Didn't think so. So why would we think it's okay for us to be that way? I'm preaching to myself here. If I expect God to bring such a good guy into my life, I need to be worthy of that guy. Being a Proverbs 31 Woman means not taking the easy way out, and I'm talking about purity here too. Being a Proverbs 31 Woman means doing what's right, even when you don't feel like it. But remember, God WILL reward your hard work! So while you're waiting on God to orchestrate your romance, I encourage you to strive towards being a Proverbs 31 Woman. :D Merry Christmas girls!

love, Kat

Monday, December 21, 2009

Lindsey's Story!

*I will tell you that her story is rather long, but it is SO worth the time!! So please take the time to read it! :) *

Hello, my name is Lindsey Brechin and I am a Christian. I grew up in Shelby County, with a Baptist Mother and a Methodist Father. I was taught his word at a young age, the Southern Gospels songs by my mother's parents and I was encouraged by my family to keep on the right track. At a young age, my mother went to working night shift at Shelby Baptist Hospital and my father was driving a eighteen wheeler cross country. I had no way to church and only went maybe a few times a year, but I knew who the Lord was just by hearing it in my past. I returned to my church full in fifth grade, going almost every Sunday with my Aunt Sam and her son Clint and having a wonderful time. I remember one time their was just myself and our sunday school teacher. We had so much fun that day, learning about the Lord and playing a game.

When I entered Middle School, I began going to Wednesday Night Church with my cousin, sometimes getting right out of school and heading right to the church. I would do my homework in the lounge area, watching TV with my cousin and sometimes taking a nap until 6PM, when it was time to go upstairs. Andy Shelton came to our church my seventh grade year and became our youth director. He is a awesome preacher and I learned a lot in those years.

However, everyone has a rock bottom and mine came November of my 8th Grade Year. I remember the day pretty well and I honestly did not understand right off bat. I was outside with my Uncle Kenny, shooting the bow, learning and having fun. My mother's truck pulled into the driveway... She was home way TOO early and I looked at her and asked if she would come outside and watch me shoot before it got to late. She said maybe and I just waited. After going inside my mother and father set myself and my brother down and told us what had happened. My mother had taken some of my father's medicine and they had done a drug test at work... She was on Leave, without pay and we were already struggling to make it. I, at the time, had faith, but I still did not take everything to God. I watched as my mother got worse, taking more pills because of depression and sometimes... Sleeping all day. She told use years later that she had once taken ten sleeping pills and father had woken her up... If he had not, she would of never woken up.

The Alabama Nursing Board finally told her to come to Montgomery and told her that her nursing license was pulled... Until she went to rehab. She saw no hope, was drinking and crying. She took medicine and nearly fell asleep for good, until I came in to ask her a question. I had seen her shape and looked at her for the first time with open eyes. My aunt spoke to my mother later that day and told her that she wanted me to go on a Chrysalis Flight, a three day Youth retreat at a camp where I would see the Love of Jesus Christ and his father, our Lord God. I wanted to go, knew it would give me a chance to see what I was missing. I was fourteen, even though they wanted fifteen or older, they allowed me because I was mature in the eyes of my aunt and I would be fifteen in December and it was July.

I went on this Flight, met girls that I fell in love with and they became my sisters. For three days, people cried and I set there, my heart still hard, even though I took things in. I never allow myself to cry, always thought of it as weak. Sunday, I went into the conference room and received some letters that I did not know I had. Everyone had twelve letters and as I opened the first, I saw half the card on the front was blue, checkered colors on the bottom half, a white bear holding a small flower in the middle and the words on the front read... "This is more then just a card..." I opened it and the second part of the card was "It's a hug with a fold in the middle." Another note was below that, hand written... "Thanks for what you have done for me. - Mary Kay." I broke down in tears, the first shed the whole weekend. The spiritual Director, Rev. Molly Clark saw this and came to me. "Honey, is everything okay? I see a lot of tears." I told her things were fine, just not expecting this from my cousin.

You see, I had always been close to my cousin Mary Kay, but after my mother got bad, she seemed to distance herself and I thought she did not even like me. I had always been called, Little Mary Kay, Mary Kay Jr., or just Mary Kay, because I looked just like her and ascted the same. She had helped raised me, but now, it seems we are just passing each other by.

Anyway, back to my testimony, I cried for the whole time I read my letters, seeing them from everyone I knew. I told the Clergy of everything that was going on in my life and I quit crying finally. However, when we went into the main building, I set on the front row, thinking that it was just going to be another devotion, however, they opened the dividing wall and I saw many people before me, standing and holding the hand sign for "I Love You" I held by my tears, choking on my own tears until I tried to sing with everyone. My table leader was sitting next to me and as I broke down and began to cry, she wrapped me in a hug and said, "I Love You Lindsey and so do they." I had seen God's love for the first time in a very long time. My sister, Danielle Warren, a girl I had never met until that weekend and also a cousin by marriage... Kind of... Her great Uncle married my great Aunt, so yea... Anyway, I looked at her, she took my hand and gave me support. I had so many sisters and as we departed I cried.

After my return home I started getting ready for school to begin and mother began getting ready for Rehab. I was also doing Band and as the first day of school started, her first day of rehab started. I felt stress come down on me, I could not handle anything, could not concentrate and quit band. My Aunt Sam was worried and had me speak to the school counselor, who became a HUGE person in my life. The day I quit band and told my father, I remember getting cursed at because I had not talk to mom or him about it, I remember being called a quiter and failure. I remember the rain pouring down outside and going out to the back pasture and wrapping my arms around a chestnut mare that I called Golden, but her name was Harmony. I prayed to God, soaked in the rain, muddy from sitting on the ground. My faith was high now, that low point was gone, but I had three weeks without my mother and I did not know what to do... I was scared. I stayed with my Uncle Kenny and Aunt Ellen while my brother went to my Aunt Sams.

I went on Sundays and saw my mother, we went to a small park to talk and I asked her to go on a Woman Emmaus Walk, which is the Adult version of the Chrysalis Flight. She accepted and when she got out of rehab she thought more about it. In Novemember, she went on her walk, one year after being put on leave. She had been told by the hospital months before that if she went to rehab she would be allowed back, but when she came back, they denied her and told her they did not want her. She did not loss hope, she went to work at a Weight Loss clinic, saw that she liked it more and became Office Manager. She went on her Walk and became very close to God. I remember my Brother in Christ sitting with me, trying not to cry because I was crying when my mother looked at me.

However, I was about to get into a relationship that I would never forgive myself for. On December 18th, 2006, 7 days after my 15th Birthday I went with my aunt out to a Painting Studio. I was not feeling good that day, but this was her present to me and we had to stop by Goodie on 280 to swap jeans. As I waited in one line, it was closed and I had to go to another line. I met a young man, my cashier. He spoke with me, and I found out he was a senior at Chelsea. I was a freshman at Shelby County... I left knowing I would never see him again and as I waited for my Aunt, she handed me a piece of paper, holding a 7 digit number. I was caught by surprise and for two days debated about calling. On December 20th, while at church, I gave the guy a call, hoping to have him join me at church. He was at work, but that night he called and we talked til 1am about nothing, just twenty questions. The sunday before Christmas, he invited me to his church to hear him sing and then on the 30th, he came over and asked permission from my mother to date me and then on the 31st, official asked me out at 12AM on January 1st.

His story was about his past, that his father had been on Flight 93 and his mother had killed herself and he had found her body. I believed his words, even the words that he had a uncle who was trying to keep all his inheritance, which was not much in the first place. I did not doubt him, I did not listen to the voice of God telling me to look to him and not to a boy I put my faith in. He was older, I knew he knew what he was doing, I was young, stupid, and in need of a hand to the back of the head... God made that happen.

As school ended, he left his adoption family's home and began living out of his car. Mother saw this and invited him to live in our home for a few weeks to give him time to find a apartment. I did not feel comfortable with it and broke off our relationship, giving back the promise ring he had given me. I told him that we might get back together, but it would be after he left. I went on vacation and got harrassed during the first two days by him calling and leaving rude messages. I remember telling him to leave me alone and then finally, quit talking to him until I got home. It was only three days later that we were swimming and my cousin Clint came over and he came out to us and asked Clint if he wanted a girl friend, said he knew someone. My brother was being a normal bug and he was cursed by my ex. My other cousin, Kim, did not like this. She had been a Shelby County Correction Officers years before and she stood and told him that if he cused my brother out again, they would have problems. She was very calm, just stating she did not want us cursed. He jumped at her, told her to leave him alone and got in her face. Kim went to my home and told my mother to get him out. I was not there at all. He left and the words left his mouth. "If she comes near my car, I will shoot her." My heart stopped and I looked at him.

My cousins friend, Twyla took me around in the back yard and made me listen. "Lindsey, he told use many things... He said y'all were back together, that yall had had sex before... Is this true?" None of it was true and I was furious about the lies. I felt myself being attacked by the devil, by this boy... He apolgized days later, however, his attacks were not done. I found out that he had been planning on rapping me, that a old friend had heard from him and he called me to warn me. I also found that his parents were alive, that his father was trying everything to help his son and that his mother was a drug addict. He knew I knew this, so he made different plans, he began telling people that I was a 'slut', excuse my language, that I had slept with him and many. I felt so attacked, my faith was going back quickly. I prayed to God that something would happen, that this would end... And it did.

The boy was sent to Jail because of Sodomy and then again later on for something I am unsure of. God was punishing the boy and I never heard from him again. I prayed that he would find the Lord again, to help him... I can only pray that he does this and changes his ways.

During the rest of my tenth grade year, I went out with another older guy named Brad, a family friend who was 19 years old. We lasted for only a short while and I knew it would not last, for he was not Christian. I went out with another young man named Josh who just ended up being a good friend and then April 2008 came.

In 2007, my friend, Ben Nafe had told me about someone who needed a friend. I thought he was speaking about a person who needed help, however, I was wrong. He sent me a message on Myspace and a friends request and we spoke for only a short while before we lost contact. In April 2008, I sent him a message... 'Hey, it's been a while.' He had never seen me in person and I have never seen him either in person. 'Yes, it has been a while and I heard you were single?' I laughed 'Let me guess... Ben told you.' I waited 'No, your statue.' I laughed again, remembering I had placed that as my statue. 'Yea, I am... Why?' I was couious. 'Well, we could change that?' I was surprised. 'I don't date people I have not met.' Rejection on him.

I will not try and find all the e-mails, but as it goes on, we made plans to met on June 2, 2008 and on that day... It happened. He drove up in a gray truck, small in my opinion and he stepped out. James David Richardson... As soon as I saw him, I smiled, falling for him the instant we met. He had come to met me and my family and spend the whole day with me. At 4 that afternoon, he asked if I would date him and I smiled and agreed. Two months on computer messages and phone conversations had brought us together. We dated through the summer and then through my 11th Grade Year.

The Chrysalis Community that I am with had the first flight since 2006 in 2009 and I worked the flight and saw God work in many ways. James and I had a rough spot here, mostly from the fact we could not talk and such. We made it through our year mark and to this day... We are still dating.

Now, I am in a new Bible Study on Wednesday in Shelby, Alabama. I left my church youth group to join this in depth bible study, I have joined the National Guard and I leave for Basic Training on July 13, 2010, I graduate on May 27th 2010, and then I will be back from Training in December. The Lord has gotten me through many rough times and for this I knew my faith is strong. I know I still have a far way to go, but I know that I am in Love with a wonderful and loving Man and I see him everyday in the faces of others, in the nature around me, and in the Love that I see from friends and family. I know the Lord has many plans for me and I hope that my testimony helps everyone and anyone.

May the Lord bless you in the days ahead and in your Life, for I know he has blessed me. Fly in Christ!
Lindsey Brechin
20091215 at 2158

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Weekend Chat

Okay, so here's how it works. You can post any questions about purity (or other areas of life if you really want to) in the comment box. But instead of just me and Jen answering your questions, we'd like you guys, the blog readers, to jump in with YOUR opinions. Yes, we encourage y'all to do this with any post, but basically we set aside the weekend for YOU! You can post questions, answers to someone else's questions, whatever. Just please keep it clean, of course! So.... I guess just start whenever!

Love, Kat

Friday, December 18, 2009

Good or Bad Flirt?!

What is your definition of flirting? For today's post we are going to say that flirting is paying extra special attention to someone, following them constantly, touching them in more than a friendly way, and basically just craving their attention/approval. Got it? You do not have to be all of these to be a flirt, one is enough. So, the question.... Is flirting ok? A few years ago I had a BIG problem with girls flirting, although I have changed my mind some. See girls... its all in the attitude of your heart. If you truly like the guy and you feel as if it is God's will then it is fine to show him a little extra attention. Although, often girls flirt just to get attention.... this is wrong. If you do not like the guy then do not lead him on. he has feelings also! Also, you need to find your satisfaction in Christ...and not a guy. I asked a few different guys about this and one of their responses truly impressed me... He made the comment that neither one (the guy or the girl) should have to flirt to get the attention of the other. If they are both in God's will then they will attract each other without anything that they do themselves. Isn't that a cool thought?! Honestly it can kinda be relieving! Kat mentioned the verse Psalm 37:4 in an earlier post. It says, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.". Girls! I cannot say this loud enough.... DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD! Truth is, people will leave you, hurt you, abandon you, and anything else you can imagine... but God will not! Girls flirt to get love... although God is love (1 John 4:8 God is love.). Precious Daughters of the King, do not sale yourself for less just because you want that guy to notice you! If he notices you for your low cut shirt or provocative moves then there will soon be another girl that has and can do the same thing. Before I end my sermon... ;) I think it is the coolest thing ever that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords wants to spend time with me every second of the day (Note* I did not say every Sunday or once a day!)!! How is that possible?! Because He LOVES you... He loved you enough to die on the cross for you! Yes, YOU! I do not know about you, but any of the guys that i would even think about flirting wouldn't come close to dieing for me. You may also be asking, how can i spend every second with Him? I do have a life you know! That is true... By keeping your eyes focused on Him! Let the decisions you make, the actions you take, the words that you say, the thoughts that you think, and anything else go through God. It has become overused through the years, but the saying "WWJD" (What would Jesus do?) is SO real! Ask yourself that through out the day and if you follow your hearts answer you will be following God the whole day! Talk with God also! He is ALWAYS willing to listen and like i said earlier... Its the coolest thing! He wants to talk to you! How awesome is that?!?!

Anyway, If you still feel as if there is a need to flirt though... then how far is ok? Say you like a guy and you want him to know... what is a good way of handling it? Basically coming on to strong would be constantly txting them first, iming them practically every time they get on, and calling them names such as "baby", "Hottie", "babe" and so on before they ever go past your regular name. Yes, sometimes guys like girls chasing them. It boost their ego! Although... most guys in their heart of hearts would rather be the seeker... that is the way God created them! If you do not believe me then keep reading and see what some guys said themselves!

"It is definantly a turn off for a girl to be very forward. Especially when the guy has a girl friend!!! Have some self control!" - 15 year old guy

"It is ok for girls to lead guys on and let them know that you like them, ut it should totally be the guy who goes after the girl and that ask her out." - 18 year old guy

"I believe that it is God's job to bring the two people together, not theirs. If they are both seeking God then HE will bring them together. As far as the relationship goes... the man should be the leader though." - 14 year old guy

See girls.... this world tells us that love is a fight... but it isn't! Trust God... and remember the focus of your heart will be visible to others! Whether you want it to be or not....

With care,

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Revolution is knowing what you are suppose to do and actually doing it! ~ Bro. Hal

"I see a generation, Rising up to take their place! With selfless faith! With selfless faith!!! I see a near revival! Stirring as we pray and seek! We're on our knees.... We're on our knees!! Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!"

Girls... Are we going to be a generation just like the others or are we going to step up and take our place?! That's YOUR decision and YOUR decision is effected by the choices that YOU make TODAY! Revival is stirring as we do what?! PRAY and SEEK as we are ON OUR KNEES! Will you spend time with God today? It's the only way any change will ever be made....

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Word Filled Wednesday!

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Where's Your Focus? Part 1

Okay over my next two posts I'm gonna talk about focusing on the right things, and not getting to caught up in stuff. This week we're gonna talk about leaving it in God's hands.

Okay, so we've covered some of this in one area or another but I kinda wanted to compile it and drive it home. I believe it was my second post that I talked about the list of things to look for in a future husband. So I love my list, it was carefully crafted. But I don't have every detail of the guy planned out in that list. I mean come on, where's the fun in that? Knowing exactly who you're looking for. It sounds more like shopping for a present than I God-designed romance. So basically I wanted to encourage you to keep your list, stick to it, but leave it in God's hands. God already has your future husband picked out, let him surprise you with the details. Sometimes we get so caught up in the need to find a guy to fit the list that we forget that God is supposed to be in control and this is actually supposed to be romantic. So theoretically you've compiled a list for what you want in a future husband. But have you talked to God about it? Told him that is what you'd like? And what if you forget something? You see, God knows us better than we know ourselves, so he isn't going to forget what you will need. He is shaping your future husband into the man of your dreams right now.

Remember what we're all about here? Song of Solomon 8:4b "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Basically my point this week is not to get so caught up in trying to find someone to fit your list that you forget to let God awaken love in his time, let him orchestrate the romance. God's plan is far better than anything we can dream up. :D

How does this fit purity? Well if God is orchestrating your love life, boundaries will be set and it will be easier to uphold your purity values.

I know this week is short, but that's all I have to say. Think and pray about it, and let God work in your life! Next week we'll talk about focusing on becoming a woman worthy of the guy God has for us!

Love, Kat

Monday, December 14, 2009

Tiffany's Story!

One of the biggest problems with the church today is that we don’t just go through the motions, we put on a stained glass masquerade. We go to church and put on a show for everyone else so that they will see us as “good Christians.” Then we go home and live however we want. I used to really struggle with this. I’m the oldest in my family and my Dad’s a preacher. In the church he pastored several years ago, I felt like everyone was watching me. This is not I good feeling, let me tell you. Out of all the other kids, I felt that everyone expected me to be perfect, to do all the right things, to answer all the questions right in Sunday School. I had problems with this, because at the time I was really struggling with a few things spiritually and otherwise. For starters, I was still a fairly new Christian and even though I had grown up in church, that was still a big deal. Also, I was having problems in school. My school work was getting harder as went into the 6th and 7th grades, especially math. I was having trouble adjusting. So here I am about eleven years old, I feel like the entire church expects me to be perfect, I’m a fairly new Christian, I’m having some trouble in school, and I’ve just hit puberty. You getting the picture? So I, to my shame, joined the stained glass masquerade. I went to church and acting like my life was just perfect, then came home and actually cheated on my math an entire year. (I ended up taking it again.) I was doing things at church because I wanted everyone to see me and think I was perfect. But I wasn’t. Then we moved. We moved because my parents felt led to plant a church, and we did. First, however we spent a year living with my grandmother an hour away from our target area. We went to an amazing church while we were up there. They have one of the best youth groups I have seen. I went to youth camp with them. While I was there, they taught me how to worship. What I mean by that is that they gave me the freedom to worship freely, something I had sadly never known. It was life changing. Now my dad pastors the church that we planted and I’m the preacher’s kid again. But this time its different. This time I know, beyond a shadow of doubt that I can offer up my praise to God without worrying what other people think. He set me free, and he used that church to do it.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Boy Crazy or God crazy?!

So sis... If you were to be totally honest with me, which one would you say you were? I'm going to describe each side and keep a count in your head of each one that applies to you and which ever side you have the most on is the category that you fall under! Got it? QUIZ TIME!

1. Do you check your phone as soon as your wake
up to see if you missed a txt from a guy? _______
2. Do you spend more time txting, IM'ing, messaging, e-mailing,
or talking on the phone to guys than you do talking to or about God?________
3. In conversations do you bring up the topic of your latest crush most often?_________
4. Would you choose to go on a date over going to youth on Wed night?______________
5. Is your bf or crush a non Christian? ___________________

God Crazy:
1. Do you start your day out by talking to God? ____________
2. Do you spend time with God every day?____________
3. Do you bring God up regularly in conversations?__________
4.Do you go to church on wed night no matter what other options you have?__________
5. There is no question about it...You bf or crush is def a Christian?______________

Which did you mark the most in? God Crazy or boy crazy? Only you and God know... So there is no reason to act as if you are perfect! ok?

Fall in love with God! If you talk to me much at all it is most likely that you have heard me say at some time, "Just fall in love with God babe!". It is my solution to everything! ;) I truly mean it though.... If you have never had a true encounter with God
then you will not understand. My definition of being in love with God is being satisfied with not having a boy friend, trusting God with the good and bad, and basically being in awe of Him! Are you? I use to not be... just being honest! I still have a ways to go, although I can tell you that I love God!! It takes getting into His word constantly and seeking His face.... Are you doing that? Have you ever had one of those friends that you knew they were cool and you could tell that you would enjoy getting to know them better? You never really put forth the effort and so it never really went anywhere until they began perusing you as a friend. Then you turn out being best friends and you wonder why you never hung out before?? It is the same way with God! I remember sooooo many times that I wanted to get closer to Him yet in the morning when my alarm clock, which I had set (with full intent of getting up and spending time with God!) i found it impossible to get up. Then you have those times when something goes wrong and you know that you should go to God.... but you rather just cry or talk to a friend about it. Then there are those times that you know you are in sin (I've been there and I know!) and instead of getting right with God you just try avoiding Him.... Are you in any of those places? There could be something else that is keeping you from falling in love with God. Whatever it is... GET RID OF IT! In the end... it will not matter! You will only wish that you had truly fallen in God! Now that I can see the other side (The side of loving God truly) it is SOOOOO worth it! No, it is not easy at all... and it never will be, but babe God is the best friend/ boy friend you could EVER have! Trust me on that! :)

With more care than you can imagine,


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A little hope...

Hey girls! So I feel like I've been throwing so much at you, dos and don'ts. And I feel like tonight I just need to give you something uplifting. So tonight we're gonna talk about a particular verse in Psalms that has become very dear to me (rabbit trail: the more I read the Bible, the more I verses become dear to me!). This verse is Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Now of course, we are gonna focus this on the area of purity, after all this blog is about purity... So let's get started.

I wanna start with a little disclaimer. Many people misinterpret this verse and think that it means God will give them just anything in life. And then they want to throw it back at God and say "well what about this? It was my hearts desire, but I didn't get it!" Well, they have taken the verse out of context. Our sin nature wants to focus on the last part of the verse and completely ignore the first part. We skip right to the part where we get what we want. But let's take another look at the verse. "DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Still confused? Delighting yourself in the Lord pretty much means that we are adamantly pursuing God's will with our everything, that we are passionate about what God wants to do. You see if we are truly delighting ourselves in the Lord our desires will match up with his. When our desires match up with God he is eager to grant those desires. Now that we've put the verse in context, let's get to the point of the post.

Okay, so we're all about pursuing God on this blog. Particularly through the area of purity. So we hope you are too. And if you are, get this! God has so much in store for you! He wants to give you his very best! And because of your willingness to worship him through purity, he CAN! That doesn't mean that prince charming will show up tomorrow (although it might, IDK God's plan for your life), but it means that God's perfect plan is already spinning in action, even if you can't see it. He could be orchestrating other areas of life preparing you to meet your future husband, he could be letting you pass through trials to make you stronger and better prepared for the amazing things that will come in the future. Patience is a tough thing, but cling to it, because if you are serving God diligently, he IS working! He DOES have plans for you, and he WILL add unto you all the desires of your heart.

Okay, so I don't know about you, but sometimes I get really down when I see friends who have seemingly perfect relationships with their boyfriends, and I wonder when I will be ready, when it will be my turn. But clinging to this verse provides me with so much encouragement, and i can keep pressing on, knowing that my efforts are not going unnoticed. I hope this helps you today, wherever you are in life. Just remember, God cares, and he wants to do big things in your life. :D

Love, Kat

Monday, December 7, 2009

Preston's Story!

I grew up in the church and had a hint of morality or what some people would call godliness, but i didn't have God. I went to church and prayed often but I was still very much worldly. When I wanted something ,I went after it. I denied myself nothing. I was my own god. I gave myself over to sex, drugs, and alcohol as my lifestyle. Most of the time they came as a package deal. I could tell you that i hated every minute of it, but i'd be lying. Its quite possible to do those things and have fun at the same time. I did. Its also possible to find yourself temporarilly satisfied in it. I was. I wont deny that. The thing I can't deny is the fact that everything that comes from that type of lifestyle is in absolute rebellion against a sovereign God. Once this reality sank in, fear struck me. The wonderful thing about fearing God is that it happens to lead you to a cross, and this cross leads to amazing grace. Praise God!
I started writing this thinking I was gonna talk about purity leading up to marriage, but I dont think I can just talk about one part of a life submitted to God. Yes, saving yourself for marriage is great(God actually demands it). The thing is, God also commands that we not Gossip or slander. Personally I wish wouldn't have made so many mistakes with women, and it kills me that I can't take what I've done back. I'm going have to admit to my wife my mistakes, and I'm not excited about that. This is where we can make this issue more about ourselves than about our actions against God. Why do my sexual transgressions seem to so far outweigh the ones from my speech. You and I will be equally accountable before God for every word we have said against Him, as well as every action we have done that is against Him. Sometimes we forget, the only reason that we don't do these things is because we serve a God that is infinitely worthy of our obedience. I have been guilty of focusing on one thing that God requires while blindly negating others. Do not be like me. Work towards conforming your whole self to Christ while at the same time knowing that the only way this is possible is through Christ. Guard your mouth, your eyes, and your heart. This world is so tempting, and if God wasn't real, I would follow in its ways. But the fact remains that He is oh so real, and I will gladly follow him. I beg you, Do the same.


Sunday, December 6, 2009

Are you dating, or are you friends?

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not picking on you for your actions. But if this post makes you question your actions, I encourage you to pray and take a closer look at what you are doing. Today we're basically gonna talk about how you treat your guy friends.

I had a guy friend for a while who, to be quite honest, was a little too much of a ladies man. We never knew WHO he was dating, because he treated a lot of girls like his girlfriend (sometimes better). I remember more than one time when I asked a friend "are they going out?" and she said "no he's with that other girl." Sadly, this is the case with many boys and girls. They won't be in a relationship with someone, but they will act like it. What if your future husband wanted to ask you out, but thought you were dating a guy friend because of the way you act?

This kinda goes along with Jen's last post. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. How? Well, if you say you don't like a guy, but continue flirting incessantly with him, you are leading him on, and you haven't really said NO. If you like him, seek God's will for your relationship, if you don't, then don't act like you do. It's may seem crazy, but it's pretty simple. IDK how many times I've been told "girls are so complicated" by a guy friend. Well truthfully we are, especially in this area. We can cause a guy to stumble in his thought life if we are say, sitting in his lap, holding his hand, or just hanging on him all while you aren't even dating. I honestly think you shouldn't be sitting in his lap PERIOD. We can easily portray a completely different meaning from our words by our actions. Do you want guys to stop calling you complicated? It's easy, be simple. Don't be a stumblingblock, don't portray your relationship differently than they are. If you're friends, be friends, nothing more.

Now I'm gonna be a little more brutally honest. I know that a couple of years ago this post could have somewhat applied to me. Not to the extent that I have said, but I definitely needed to lay off the flirting. If I had read this post back then I would have thought, "oh it doesn't apply to me. I'm not that bad." Girls I mean this with all the love you can imagine, it very well may be your actions that people are questioning. I want to encourage you to pray, talk to God, and see where you can improve. Is there an area where you may be acting like your guy friend is more than a guy friend? Please take a look at what you are doing. It can only go for God's glory!

Love, Kat

P.S. Sorry I am so late posting this week! I will try to get back on track this week!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Let your "Yes" be yes and your "No" be no!

~ Matthew 5:37 Let what you say be simply yes or no. Anything more than this comes from evil. (ESV)~

Hey chickas! So, Ive been thinking about how as girls we do not want to hurt anyone or more so we will go back and forth on what we believe to keep our "man" happy. We will lead them on and then when things get hot we begin saying "WOOOOOAH!". Then the guy is let down and sometimes even mad.Another example, on a lower level is when a guy likes you and you are not sure whether you like him or not (you really do not, but you just do not want to say so.), but you continue to lead him on. In the end he gets hurt. Why does this happen? Because we as girls generally have a hard time making decisions. This is NOT an excuse though! Jesus says straight up that our yes should be yes and our no should be a no! If when discussing your standards with your boyfriend you say things such as, "I rather not", "Please do not make me", "I might not want to or feel comfortable", or "I'm going to try not to". You are setting yourself up for disaster! Let your yes be yes and your no be no!

Also, if you say, "No" and those lines are crossed then it is not your fault. I'm expecting that your actions match up with your words. If this does happen (You say no and he does not stop) please realize that you do have EVERY right to make him stop! I mean it... Whatever it takes! To follow that up... please tell someone that you trust! It will be hard and most likely he will either be very apologetic or he will become mad and make threats towards you. Either way.... you need to tell! If he is apologetic, do not believe him. I'm all about forgiving and forgetting, but this is one of those times that you can not take any chances. It would be best to not just tell anyone though... tell someone you trust! Such as, your parents, pastor, youth pastor, older woman, teacher, a friend's mom, etc. Just tell.... not matter how hard it may be!

I love you girls and I want the best for you! That can not happen though if you are wishy washy as far as your answers!

"Say what you mean and mean what you say!" ~ Anonymous