Dearest followers, I do not do this often, but i have a major prayer request that i would really like you to pray for. I do not do this often and rarely if ever have asked for a personal prayer request. My precious grandmother (Nana) received a call today that no one wants to get. She has not been feeling well for a while and has lost a massive amount of weight. Today her doctor called and said that her test had come back and she had........ cancer. It seems so common, yet so hard to say at the same time. It is one of those things that everyone else deals with, but it will never effect you. My grandmother is one of the humblest, sweetest, Godliest woman i know. I hate to even think of what faces her in the future. More test will determine what kind of chemo will be done, although we know that she will have to undergo chemo and that it is very serious. As we sat in the doctors office thousands of questions pass through your mind. The biggest one is why... why did this happen? Cancer is a part of life and it is no respecter of persons. She is the happiest, active, healthy senior adult you will ever meet. God, why? I know there is a reason.... I really do, but just in one day it's alot to take in. Tonight at church the pastor was talking about someone else who has cancer and how the illustration was used of Shaderack (Spl?), Meshack, and Abendigo. When they were discussing how God will save them from the fiery furnace they make the statement that their God can save them and If he doesn't He is still God. Meaning God is not required to save them. They believed He could and He did, but they also knew that He did not have to. Our family is fully aware that God does not have to heal my grandmother... Although we at the same time believe he completely can if He sees fit. Of course we are pleading that He sees fit, but trust in His plan! So with all that said please pray for Nana and the rest of us as well. This is a new adventure and I trust that God is God no matter what! Below are a few pictures of Nana!! :)
At Jon's Basketball Game! Nana is the one with the white hair.
Nana and I went on my Senior trip to Colorado back in 2010
When I was 6, someone that was supposed to be safe in a place that
was supposed to be safe, asked me if I wanted to kiss.
I said yes.
When I was 6, someone who was
supposed to be safe in a place that was supposed to be safe, touched me in
an inappropriate manner.
I said nothing.
I let it...because I liked it.
That sounds terrible, and it's
terrifying to write. But I must tell the truth.
It lasted I don't know how
long, a few times here and there. It ended when my father discovered it.
When I was older & could
consider it all, I sometimes thought- I'm messed up. I'm dirty.
Why am I telling the Internet
world this? Why am I telling you this?
Because I believe that vulnerability heals. In the
hidden, we shame ourselves, or let others shame us. We tell ourselves we're
unworthy, or let others tell us. Whispers, constant whispers in our souls,
telling us that our actions...our actions are more powerful than who we
But is this true? No!
Actions may often speak louder than words, but nothing speaks louder than the
essence within us. It shines, lovely, whether you see it or not. Don't hide it
with shame, guilt, self doubt, and regret.
I am so blessed to have
a very conscious supportive mother. She did everything she
could to prevent me feeling those negative feelings. She told me that it was
natural that physical sensations should be pleasing. She encouraged me to speak
to her about everything then, and ever after, so that secrets and lies wouldn't
I know not all girls are
so fortunate. My heart is with you, if you are one of the girls who has not
spoken out, who feels rejected or unworthy, or has no support. I encourage you
to speak your story, if you haven't, or be an open heart to hear stories. I
encourage you to be vulnerable, with yourself first, let yourself off the hook,
& keep yourself safe. It's scary to speak, but we are not as isolated as
our silence convinces us. If you have no idea what or where a safe space is, I
encourage you to seek out your local YWCA,
and investigate their services.
How did I release those
feelings? How do I, rather. It's a choice, sometimes daily, to forgive myself
(for any mistakes I make) and release myself. My journey began when I read Brene Brown's book, I thought it
was Just me (but it isn't)Telling the Truth about
Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. Her book on shame was
transformative (she knows what she's talking about, 12 years research).
She explains that guilt
and shame are two very different things. Guilt is feeling bad because you've
done something perceived as bad. Shame is feeling that you are bad.
Which do you feel most, and why?
I've often read stories
by women who had no knowledge or regard for purity, for keeping love
unawakened. When they were older and felt the conviction of the path of purity,
they felt it was too late. These stories usually end in them realizing they
could have a beautiful marriage, and renew their hearts and minds, even though
they made mistakes.
What of us who had
hardly a chance to remain physically pure? What of us who had our love awakened
with complete unawareness? Are we impure?
It pains me to think
anyone would think so!!
It doesn't matter how
physically pure you are, if your spirit, your soul, your self is pure. And I
believe that each of you young ladies reading this blog have a purity and
innocence within that no one can take away.
Don't let your mistakes
or what others have done to you shut you down. You are beautiful and powerful
beyond comprehension! Use the power of rebirth to transform yourself. Kill
those unhealthy ways of thinking (this is where feelings start), kill your
guilt, shame, regret. Set them on fire. From the ashes, recreate something
magnificently moving. You can do it.
For you literal folks-
get a sheet of paper, write everything you think and feel that's holding you
back from embracing your purity, and safely burn it. Or flush it down the
toilet. After ripping it into as many pieces as possible!!! :)
You may shed tears. It
will hurt. It's scary. But who you are is oh so much
more powerful than your circumstances and feelings!!
with love <3
Katherine is a teenage entrepreneur,
rebelutionary, & photographer. Refining her life with authenticity &
inspiration, she writes Observations
on Becoming. She lives in Pennsylvania with her role model parents, genius
brother, & divinely demented dogs. Some of her favored entertainments
& aspirations are learning Spanish & Hebrew, loving on the piano,
psychological astrology, foreign accents, connecting
with beautiful souls, salsa & belly dancing, & writing. She's
passionate about personifying the power of the Phoenix.
Each post seems to be more and more don'ts and less do's so here goes a couple of do's! What are some healthy habits to start now that will lead to a healthy relationships later on. These are just somethings that i have personally experienced in my life! Hope you find them helpful!
1) Breaking up is not an option- I see so many couples who threaten to break up with each other if the other one doesn't do something. This is NOT HEALTHY! What does breakups lead to? Divorce. It is simply practice for divorce. Now of course, if you do not need to be with the guy then by all means break up with him, but do not just use it as regular conversation. Matt and I noticed the other day how even when we disagree on something we have never once threatened to break up with each other. This is a healthy habit. This way once you get married it will not be a common statement.
2) Do not point out other guys. I did not realize how often i did this until Matt pointed it out that he didn't appreciate it much. We as girls so often flippantly make comments about other guys, whether it be good or bad. We may say, "Ohhhh he is cute" Or "Look at him... He is....". This is demeaning to your man! Whether you have one at this point or not it is a good idea to go ahead and begin breaking this habit now. I wish i had! Would you want your special man to be pointing out other girls? I know i wouldn't! So why should we point out other guys?
3)Put God first... We say it all the time, but how often do we actually do it? Spend time with God. Make a point of it. Do you think about guys or God more? I have begun making a conscience effort to talk about God as much as Matt. To talk to God as much as Matt (That's hard with txting!). Go to God with your problems just as easily as you do your boyfriend. It takes a special effort.... it is worth it though!
I have a crazy life as a college student, Fiance, RA (resident assistant), sister, daughter, so on and so on. I live a normal life, but seek to honor God in every step I take! I love life and find joy in almost everything!