Sunday, October 31, 2010

Being Prepared

First off I want to apologize for my post not being as regular as they use to be. I feel like it comes across as my heart really isn't into it, but that is not true one bit! I think about you girls all the time and pray for you constantly! I also think about post to write all the time. The thing is at school i cant get on the blog so that's why sometimes my post are late! Anywho enough explaining...

Are you prepared to be a wife? This question is not asked often in our culture, but it should. Often girls either become moms and so the are just thrown into the mommy/wife world, but if you were to do it the right way, which i trust you girls are doing...are you ready? We all want a guy and we all think we are ready. Seriously though? I know some girls that by one look at them I'm like she will make a great wife, but others not so much. Where are you? I've just started cooking and it amazes me. I use to could not cook at all. How could i take care of a husband? Now of course some men can cook, but there are things that we as girls need to know. Such as, how to clean, do laundry, cook, handle money, stay organized, etc. I see teen girls that are just not ready for marriage at all and they honestly do not even care to be, but yet they want a boyfriend. Can i make this disclaimer now... You may not marry the first guy you date, but you do not need to date a guy if you can not see that as at least a possibility! This is something most people joke about and take lightly, but i wholeheartedly believe God doesn't. My basic opinion (Take it for all its worth!)...if you aren't ready to get married within the next few years you are not ready to date. My point of this post though is start preparing! Start helping your mom... learn to cook, clean, or anything you don't already know how to do! Girl, now is the time. Also, this is kinda a side note, but start learning how to respect/submit to your dad now. If you can submit to your dad you can submit to your husband. If you cant submit to your dad then you cant submit to your husband! Just a fact of life....

Love you gals!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thought-Filled Thursday!

"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right." -Abraham Lincoln

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Word-Filled Wednesday!

Psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Testimony Tuesday!

I was Jonah. The next time someone tells you you can't run from God, believe them. Because, um, well, you can't. I should know. I tried. It don't work folks.

Okay, so I guess I have some explaining to do now. My Mama has been saying for a while, at least the past year, that me growing up as a pastor's kid and as a church planter's kid and learning to adjust to whatever was thrown my way and to be content with what I had, that it was very possibly that I was actually being trained for the mission field. And, well ever time she said it, in my mind I was rebelling. I was saying "no," but I wasn't saying it to my mother. As in, I was telling her that I wasn't called to mission. No, it was much, much, much worse than telling my mother no will ever be. You see, ever time she said it, I felt a tug at my heart, a voice whispering to me in the back of my mind, "she's right you know." And I was rebelling. "No God," I was saying, "No! I'm going to do that, I'm not going to leave everything I know and love to go trekking half-way around the world." haha. The joke's totally on me. So, um, then we went to visit University of Montevallo. We talked to the lady in the art department who does the photography.She has these AMAZING pictures outside her office. So of course, we asked about them. They're documentary photos of the Roma people. See, she works with these people in the refugee camps, mostly in Eastern Europe. She then went on to explain how photography can be used for, basically, missions (she didn't call it that obviously, but that's essentially what it is). She told us how photography is communications and how when you show up with a camera, people open up to you more. (BTW, she also emphasized foreign languages as being, if not necessary, than very helpful in photography. oops.) So at this point I'm sitting there going, "oh crap," in my head. Yeah, you could say I was cornered. But it didn't stop there. The very next Sunday, one of our college students was giving the message. He went to the Sudan this summer. *ahem* And um, yeah. So like the entire time he's talking that little voice is going, "see! see! I TOLD you!" So what do I do? The only thing one CAN do. I surrendered. I said, "okay God, I'm done. I won't fight you anymore. I'm yours. Do whatever you want with me." So I don't know when, how, or even where. But, um, I'm going to end up on the mission field. I don't know if it'll be long-term or shorter trips. I do know that somehow my photography will have something to do with it. and I know that it doesn't pay to play Jonah.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Word Filled Wednesday...

John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one can come to the Father, but by me!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Testimony Tuesday!

I grew up in a Christian home. I learned the word of God from the time I was in the highchair. I went to church every time the doors were open and my Daddy was a pastor. To most who knew me, I have an amazing life; but if they had really known me they would have seen pain. My Mom and I have never had a close relationship, she's always been verbally abusive and sometimes physically. I've hit her too and that saddens my heart. I grew up lonely because I was the weird one that nobody really wanted to be friends with. I was overweight and I had ADHD so I was hyper-and just a little weird. I tried hard to make friends but it didn't happen. I held a lot of pain and anger and frustration inside of me. I've never had a good self image of myself and I've always believed I am ugly and fat, this insecurity is from Satan and the pits of hell themselves. I now know who I am in Christ-Psalm 139. All of that insecurity led me on a journey through pain to find love, but I was looking in all of the wrong places. I hated myself for the way people treated me, thought something was wrong with me. I held all of that in. In high school I was the "good girl", I was in church, made good grades, was involved in clubs and did everything right. I was liked by most adults that got to know me, but they didn't know the real me. The me that felt so unloved and so unwanted that she cut her wrists to make the pain in her heart go away for awhile. The me that often dreamed of suicide and planned it all out and even wrote out an obituary. The me that experimented with drugs at 16 years old. After I graduated high school, I was still searching for love. I met a man who was 6 years older than me and I married him after dating him only 6 weeks. It was an awful marriage, he beat on me often. We divorced after 4 months. I was depressed and started to not care. I started to party and do things that were not me. I got real drunk one night and was taken advantage of. After that night, I didn't care at all. I slept with guys I didn't care for, and that hurt my heart even more. I started to use drugs real heavy. By the time I was 19 I was an addict, and I wanted to die. I got to the point where I found some pills in a garbage can and I took them-not knowing what they were. I went to nigh clubs to get male attention and it was there I was introduced to cocaine. Cocaine made me feel invincable like I could do anything and be somebody. I got so low that I prayed to God that he would just take me. It was then that God placed people in my life to teach me things and bring me back to him. I had nowhere to live and so my grandparents took me in. I got back in church and then things started to change. I went to a christian drug rehab and things started getting even better. I'm not perfect I still make mistakes, I'm 6 months pregnant with twins. I am dealing with a lot of shame from this because I know that having sex outside of marriage is wrong, but God is working in me. God has brought me from death to life-literally. I was just existing, but now I'm truly alive through him. Jeremiah 29:11 is a promise from God that I dearly cling to.... it says "For I know that plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I was severely lacking hope. God has shown me that I am his princess, his love and his daughter. He's forgotten who I was and is preparing me for I am to be. He has big plans for me and I'm so excited to see what He'll do. He's brought me out of drug addiction. He's brought me out of depression, he's given me hope and promises of a future. Above all God has shown me love-true love. The love that I had been searching for my whole life. I am happy now and I couldn't say that before. If you give God your heart-all of it.... you'll be amazed by the transformation to your heart. I am striving daily to live for him the best that I can.


Monday, October 18, 2010

Have you considered this?

It occured to me the other day that, while we've talked about many areas of purity and modesty and being prepared, we have not really discussed the topic of dancing. It has come to my attention twice in the past few weeks that this is very much an area of physical purity that needs to be addressed.

First of all, why is it so important? Well if you've ever watched Dancing With The Stars you know that the world has taken dancing and made it a twisted and sensual thing. But that's not what dancing has to be. Dancing, like music, photography, literature, and other forms of entertainment can be used to have fun and still be glorifying to God. But because the world has made it such a sensual thing, you need to know where you draw the line. What is appropriate or inappropriate? If you ever go to a dance, you need to know where you stand on this. As always, the "Would I do this if God or my future husband were watching" question applies.

Okay so now I just want to share my own personal guidelines when it comes to dancing to help give you a starting point.

-Never dance back-to-front or front-to-back with anybody, male or female.

-Space is good! You don't have to be an arms length apart, but pressing your body up against a guy isn't a good idea either (if you wouldn't do it in a non-dancing situation, you shouldn't do it here either). I don't have an "exact" measurement of how far apart I stand, but it should be clear to others that I'm not pressed up against a guy.

-If you don't want them to touch that area of your body, don't move it in a way that draws attention to that specific area (ie hip thrust, booty roll, chest thrust, etc).

-Be mindful of your clothing. If you know the skirt of your dress is going to fly up in an inappropriate way, don't do something to make it fly up (ie kicking, jumping).

-Enjoy yourself! Like I said, these are my guidelines, but trust me I'm not worrying every second "am I following the rules?" while I'm dancing. The standard I set for myself is pretty easy to follow, and trust me, I still have tons of fun dancing within those guidelines.

So maybe you disagree with these guidelines totally or feel they should be stricter. You don't have to go by my rules, but this is the standard I've prayed about and set for myself. My point with this girls is to have a standard. Just like everything else with purity, know where you draw the line.

Love, Kat

Friday, October 15, 2010

Flashback Friday!

Initiators and Responders
Yes, I'm crossing into dangerous territory here. But I really think this needs to be addressed, because it can heavily effect the purity of a relationship. Today I'm going to talk about the concept of guys being initiators and girls being responders. I really encourage my friends to adopt this concept, and if you haven't already, I hope after reading this you will.
Let's start with a basic definition of the concept. It literally means what it says. Guys initiate the big relationship decisions. Girls respond to the decisions. For instance, guys should be the ones to ask girls out, and girls should be the ones to say yes or no to the offers. You see what I mean? Essentially all this means is that the guys pursue the girls, not the other way around.
Now that we have a basic definition let's talk about the various places this does or does not apply. Okay, well obviously it applies in the asking out area. Okay girls be honest, do you really want to ask the guy yourself? Or would you rather him step up and be a man and take his rightful role? In a culture where we are raised on fairy tales of Prince Charming searching relentlessly for Cinderella, I doubt you really wanna ask him yourself. This can even translate over to the purity area. When you late him initiate it, he can be more in control of himself. Where as if you initiate it, he could be caught off guard and not able to resist the urge to push further. Now I'm not saying he won't push further anyway. But that's where being a responder comes into play. As the responder, you have the right at anytime to say "no more" or "we have to stop now." You're not totally helpless. Another thing, I think we may have mentioned this before, but I'm not sure. The guy should be the one to say I love you for the first time. There's something about that, it's just a man's job. And then you know you are not pressuring the guy to move the relationship forward faster than he is comfortable. Okay, now this doesn't mean you can't ever be the one to call him. In fact, it might be a nice way to let him know you were thinking of him. But it does mean you shouldn't ALWAYS be the one initiating the phone calls. It doesn't mean you can't ever (within a relationship) suggest y'all do something, but you shouldn't be doing it all the time. He needs to take initiative most of the time.

The last part I want to cover is why we should do this. Perhaps I should have mentioned it sooner, but I'd like to you to leave this post with the reasons fresh on your mind. I really like the way Leslie Ludy phrases the first reason in her book "Answering the Guy Questions." (an excellent book about purity standards and romance the way God intended). Ludy says, "I have yet to meet a woman who dreams of a wimpy, insecure guy who has no clue how to lead or take the initiative in a relationship. But few women realize that when they steal a guy's position and become the initiator rather than the responder, they shape men into wimps, not warriors." Okay, so that's a pretty good reason. My next reason is basically this, when a girl goes and asks a guy out it can often make her look desparate, and as if she isn't trusting God with her relationship. Have you ever thought of this? If God designed the relationship, he'd give the guy the guts to stand up and make the first move. I know that's pretty tough to accept, but if God want a relationship to happen, he'll make it happen. My last reason is God commands submission. Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." No, we aren't married yet, but HELLO! Wake up call! Relationships lead to marriage!!! If you start the relationship off on the wrong foot, then it will not be easy to submit to him once you are married. Where as if you practice submission and let him be the initiator, you're setting the relationship up better. And you are better preparing yourself for a Christ-centered marriage. Well that's pretty much all I have to say about this. Thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with my take on this?

love, Kat

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Thought Filled Thursday...

"Would you want your future husband doing to a girl what you allow a guy to do to you?" ~ Me :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Word Filled Wednesday!

~ James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, he decieves his heart. This person's religion is worthless. ~

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Testimony Tuesday!

i don't know alot about anything, really, i dont. i dont have it together and i definitely want God to make me new everyday and im JOYFUL about the fact that his mercies are new!! i cant talk about something i havent experienced but i can learn from others..what to do..what not to do. and as much evil there is out there, if you have the support system to sustain you, i promise you'll learn a lot just from others and not have to experience every little negative thing that the enemy throws your way.
you know that the only reason we get attacked by the enemy is because he is threatened by us??! he knows that we embrace Jesus and his LOVE, his LOVE that cant be compared to anything on this earth, and it makes the devil mad. he really isnt worried about the people who are so far from God as much as he is interested in messing you up because he knows what you can accomplish. he's horrible and throws everything imaginable our way but when your world literally is caving in, know that the Creator of the universe allows things to happen but he's got us. if your in a relationship with Jesus, it is a happy ending. He doesn't leave, he actually draws closer and closer to you until you make it home to him. love is such a crazy thing that so many people get tripped up on, but why?! we have the perfect example of love and relationship, love is something we should get, embrace, and pour out on others.
love shouldnt be what keeps you up until midnight every night, crying your eyes out because it didn't work out. you know, matt said something along the lines of: maybe the reason you're not with the person you will be is simply because God isn't finished with them yet." think about that, forreal. there is freedom there. so many times we try to grab the pen from Christ and write our own love story. and at the beginning it probably works and looks pretty but inside you know. you know that you made the connections and you didn't let God finish them or finish you.
i got so made fun of in highschool and even college for not dating. every name that you could be called, i promise, i was called. it was "stupid" and "pointless" for me to stay pure and it was just plain dumb to think that dating in highschool was harmful. for the record, i dont think that its harmful but i didnt see one healthy relationship in high school last until today..notice i said healthy. people tell me still today that i have no clue because ive never been in love and rightfully so. but, somehow, and by Jesus and his love alone, none of any of it really hurt me. of course, it wasnt fun to literally have one or two true friends in high school but im thankful. im thankful that i trusted God and that he's not finished with me. i know that whoever i marry will be absolutely incredible, i have no doubt about in the meantime, why not 125% devote my heart to Jesus. ill never have this season again.

this might not makes sense, but honestly nothing i ever write does. and i dont know why love continues to over and over again be what the Lord deals with me on. i believe its because once you know your value and worth, you wont settle. if you dont doubt the Lord's plan, it takes a LOT of stress off you :) im in this incredible ministry where there are relationships that thrive and not just a little, they literally are amazing. and its because they believed in Jesus and his faithfulness :) im so thankful to every couple there and to my parents. for every person who figured it out and fell in love with Jesus first, thank you!!! im so thankful to Jesus for loving me, no matter what.


Friday, October 8, 2010

Parents AKA Your TRUE friends!

Hi! :) Soooo some of you gals just gagged when you read the title. You know who you are! Anywho, I'm actually really serious about this. I've been on both side being that I never told my parents anything and the other side being I tell them everything. A couple of years back I went through a period where I told them nothing...they had no idea the pain i was going through, the mistakes i was making, and sometimes even the joy I had. I kept it all from them. You have to realize I was home schooled and so this is a BIG accomplishment! I mean its easy to do, but for home school kids it can be tough. Anyway, long story short I one day just sat my dad down (I'm close to mom also, but when Ive done something wrong I go to dad!lol) and said we need to talk. That's when every last lovin thing came out. Was it easy? No, they were disappointed and quite frankly shocked, but they still loved me. Girls, the last few years have been tough, but my parents have been through it all with me. To be totally honest friends come and go. I've had people who I looked up to just leave me, but you can guess who was always there (God of course...take another guess!). This is one of those light hearted yet serious post. I cant tell you the freedom I feel knowing that my parents know everything about me and still love me! When I was being pressured to do something I didn't want to do you know who I went to (After God)? My daddy!! Sis, you may not have as great of home life as I do and that truly does break my heart, but can I tell you hiding things from your parents are not helping you any. Of course there are always those situations where parents are abusive and of course I'm not really talking about those situations, but for the girls who their parents care and want the best for them, which is about 95% of the girls reading this. TALK TO THEM! Yes, you may get grounded if you've done something wrong, but you know you deserve it. Girls, more than even if you've done something wrong.... but if you've been hurt. Tell your parents... My parents could tell something was wrong, but they didn't know what and bc I wouldn't let them in and so they couldn't figure it out. Girls, your parents aren't going to look at you as if you are a freak or as if you have some disease. You would be amazed how open they will be and how much love they will show you!

I just have to mention this bc I cant tell you how many girls do this... Going behind your parents back is WRONG! That would include dating a guy they tell you not to date, going further physically with a guy than they allow you to, visiting Internet sites they do not want you to, listening to music they do not allow you to listen to, having friends they do not want you to have, etc. It is SIN! The Bible says to honor your parents and the world may tell you that its ok to go behind their back, but I'm here to tell you God's word says it is NOT ok! I tell you this bc I've done it and it is not all it's cracked up to be! God has a plan and when you follow it you will be AMAZED at just how right it feels!

If you are reading this and God is saying, "HELLO! I'm talking to you here!" go talk to your parents... Find a time that you can truly sit down and get real with them. If you are closer to one more than the other go to that one. It may be your mom that you are closer to! Whomever it may be. Pray first though... Pray that God guides you in what and how to say it, but also pray for your parents that they will be understanding and loving. I promise you that you will not regret it. I haven't for one second.

Much love,

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday!

"Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Word-Filled Wednesday!

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Monday, October 4, 2010

We're Human

Girls, week in and week out Jen and I tell you our stance on purity, how important it is, and what the Bible says about it. But tonight I just wanna say something: I'm still a human being. Jen is still human. We make mistakes, and I know I have moments when I am not glorifying God. I mean just yesterday I yelled at my dog for walking into my room (no joke). Let me just say it was not a hallelujah moment. And I will be honest, I'm having one of those weeks where I'm wondering, "God when am I gonna be there? When is it gonna be my turn to have a boyfriend?" And the fact that I'm even asking that question goes to confirm that I'm not ready right now. But nevertheless, I ask the question. Now don't get me wrong, I am not asking God to send me a boyfriend or anything like that. But I am asking what the future has in store. I mean I look around and I see some great guys, but somehow I know that God is saying "no not them. just keep waiting and you'll see." But believe me, the fact that I'm currently dateless to my senior homecoming dance has not slipped my mind. And this is the point where my mind goes, hold up!!!! Stop the pity-party. Am I really this selfish and... and shallow? I mean God is preparing a guy for me, according to his perfect plan. He is carefully guiding my path and shaping me into the person he created me to be. And all the while I'm over here complaining to myself because i don't know what's gonna happen next? Or if I'm gonna have a date to a dance? Seriously? And I pray that God will give me a heart the yearns only for more of him. I want so badly not to be the selfish girl who is only concerned with the here and now. Girls, tonight I do not pretend to have all the answers. I'd be lying if I said I did. I do not pretend to have this whole Christian thing down to a science. The only thing I can give you tonight is what I do know, and I know in my heart that God is working, even when I can't see it.

Love, Kat

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Jesus, lover of my soul!

This is just something I've been thinking about lately and I wanted you gals to think about it. Who means more to you... Your boyfriend or God? It could be anything or God, but seeing that this blog is about purity we will keep it guys, okeydokey? It kills me to see girls who light up at the thought of talking to their boyfriend yet can't seem to "find the time" to talk to their Lord. It kills me to see girls who would do absolutely anything (Even things that are degrading to them) for their boyfriend yet won't even acknowledge the name of the man who died on the cross for them. It kills me to watch girls during worship just act as if it is nothing, yet when they talk about their boyfriend it is as if the whole world revolves around him. Where is our focus? I can tell you right now my boyfriend knows that he is not the first priority in my life. Most of the time I do not even have to say it... you can see it. There's a song that talks about how a guy wishes his girlfriend got as excited when she talked about him as she did when she talked about her Lord! When was the last time you talked about God with someone? For some of you just a few minutes, for others...days, weeks, months, maybe never. When was the last time you talked about that, "Special guy"? I'm pretty sure it wasn't that long ago... I'm not trying to beat you over the head today, but I am tired of the luke warm Christian girls. It is time to quit trying to look good in the worlds eyes and start looking good in the eyes of the man who died for you and who loves you more than any other man EVER could! We cant stay on the fence any longer. I was talking to the youth last wed night about worshiping. I made the statement that if they didn't mean it I rather them just sit down than to stand their and fake it. I make the same statement here. I rather you just give up the fake card and let the world know you really do not mean it than to act like you are all perfect, yet really not care one bit. On the flip side though, if you really do mean it then LIVE IT! Not just when it's easy, but even when it's hard! I remind myself of the song often that says, "If my God is for us then who could ever stop us?"! LIVE IT TODAY!