Monday, February 7, 2011

Tough Subject- Submission

Everyone has a different view, definition, and opinion of this word. Some are rather positive and others are rather negative. I'm about to just give you my opinion. I realize that this may offend some, but seeing that this is my blog the point is for me to share my opinion and how I interpret God's word on the subject! :)

God and I have been talking about submission a lot lately. Growing up I never had a problem with submitting to my parents or authorities. I still do not. For some reason my boyfriend is different. Now the Bible does not say that you have to submit to your boyfriend, but I whole heartedly believe that it is in your best interest to. For the simple reason it is training you to honor your husband, which the Bible does clearly tell you to do! I've been realizing lately how I'm really not as submissive as I thought i was. "What is true submission?" I kept asking God. Here are just a few things he showed me....

~ Not having to have the last word (OUCH!)!

~Not making immediate decisions, but asking him how he feels about it or what he wants.

~Trusting him (Example... when driving. Not always thinking I know the best way to go and just let him drive!)

~Letting him open the door for me (I get impatient at times….:/)

~Not nagging him to do what I want him to do

~Honoring his wishes even when it puts me out

~Helping him where he is weak, even when it isn’t my first choice

I'm not about to get into women's rights and things like that. You can go to another blog for that chick! :) My heart’s desire is to just understand what TRUE submission is. The thought that kept coming to mind.... "If I can’t even figure out how to be submissive to my boyfriend do i have any idea how to be submissive to God?!" Submission may not be a problem for you, but evidentially it is for me! This isn’t easy to admit, but it is the truth. Here is another thought though.... if it is not wise for you to do what your boyfriend wants you to do *You know if it isn’t!* then you need to get another boyfriend. Plain and simple!

As I finish up.... you know my spill, but bc I care about you I'm going to say it again. NO guy (Boyfriend, dad, friend, brother, anyone!) EVER has the right to do anything to you that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you do not want him to touch, say, txt, or anything something to you then get help. Girls, you have the right to say NO and I beg you to! Submission does NOT mean doing absolutely anything a guy wants. Use your Godly common sense.

What does submission mean to you? It may mean different things to different girls. What does it mean to you? Love you girls!!



Katherine said...

Great post! You made some great submission points... :)

anna :) said...

submission to me means obeying as long as it doesn't violate God's standards.

anna :)

jennaseverythingblog said...

What a deep and rich subject . . . I've been married for 5 1/2 years now and I'm still learning. But it's a beautiful lesson! =) I used to really lash out against the idea of submission, but I've learned over the years that it really is how God designed us to relate with our spouse. And not just our spouse, but to Him, to the church, to our parents, etc. I think it means so many things--for me:

-Putting his needs above mine (so hard!)
-If we disagree and can't seem to compromise, (and the issue isn't a moral one) I need to go his way (kind of like not having the last word)
-Trust, which for me has meant very specifically moving to different States as he works to get his PhD
-Seek his advice and counsel as a true partner instead of just doing things my way on my own

Those are just a few that came to mind, but submission is such a living, daily thing that you could always unpack more.

The great thing is that he is supposed to love me as Christ loved the church--in total submission to God and in total sacrifice to me--so the submission truly ends up being mutual in an ideal situation. God designed it so well! =)

babethepig0 said...

This couldn't be less true.

I mean, I can understand the value of submitting to one's boyfriend. Submission is a beautiful thing. In general, it does help some relationships (mine included - I try to practice submission as often as possible with my boyfriend).

However, at times when you *know* you shouldn't, it doesn't necessarily mean you need a new boyfriend.

I don't know about your boyfriend, but my boyfriend is human. He makes mistakes. Am I going to submit blindly to him when I *know* that's not a good idea? No. At times when I don't think it's a good idea, I'll let him know that I think he's making a mistake.

I do not believe this is a sign of me not honoring him. Rather, it is a sign of me allowing him access to every corner of my mind. My thoughts and ideas are his. I believe that this kind of honesty is closer in essence to true submission than blindly doing what someone else wants (for me at least).

For example, if we are arguing over where a certain restaurant is, is it not best that I press the issue if I went there just yesterday? My boyfriend would be quite upset if I didn't push for what I knew was right in that instance because we would end up lost. Or lets say that the two of us have a tradition (ex. a special date night once a week) and he doesn't feel like going initially. My boyfriend would actually be happy in the end that I voiced my opinion (i.e. by telling him how much I value the dates) because in the end, our tradition would be more important than him sitting on his ass eating chips.

In my opinion, God calls everyone to honor their husbands/boyfriends in a way that works for them. I understand for you, simple submission through action might be the key. For me, such submission is also a valuable tool, but surrendering every thought I have takes priority: my boyfriend has a right to my true opinions because they are beneficial to him at times.