Friday, May 6, 2011

Courting vs. Dating??

So, the question is often asked, "Should I court or date?" This can be a very opinated topic and many people feel strongly one way or the other, but hopefully this post will help you see that it is not one or the other, but that it is about the heart. Each person has a different idea of courting. Some are more conservative and some are not. Some have a conservative idea of dating and some do not. Each persons’ idea is different. By Webster’s definition....




Dating: To have a date with

Courting: To engage in social activities within seek of engagement.



I will be honest with you girls from the beginning... I have no problem with a girl dating a guy (I've done it myself), but I'm also very pro courting. What is the difference between the two? The main difference I see is that courting has the main purpose of leading to marriage where dating is often get together and break up the next day. My personal stand on this whole issue though is it is not what you call it, but how you handle it! I've known people who courted who got into just as much sin as people who dated did. I've also known plenty of people who dated who had a completely God honoring relationship. So, it is not about what you call it that makes one better than the other. It is how YOU act that makes the difference. It is often said that when dating you have more time alone and this can be true. Does it have to be though? Couples who are courting also have many opportunities to be alone. It is up to the couple to choose whether they take those opportunities or not. Do courting couples often stay further away from sexual sin? Some do and some don’t. It is the same exact thing with people who have dated.



Now I’m sure I have some of you pretty upset seeing that many of you have parents who only allow courting and that’s all you've ever really been allowed to do. That is great! Go thank your parents for that! My whole point in this is to make you realize that it is not what you call it that makes it ok or not it is what you do and how you act that makes it ok or not! Just like going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, courting does not make you pure. Also, to any parents who read my blog.... Just b/c your child courts and does not date, this is not an "I'm safe from anything happening" Seek God.... See what HE wants you to do! It may be date, court, or somewhere in the middle! As I’ve said time and time before, you know where you struggle and if dating causes to many temptations then do not do it!



I do believe that courting has one VERY strong pull and that is that it generally is wayyyyyy more focused on marriage. I see girls who date guy after guy and it becomes nothing for them to break up and a broken heart almost becomes nothing. is this the way it is suppose to be? NO! Dating was never mentioned in the Bible. The purpose of dating is to find the one and only man you will marry. I am not for any other kind. It is not ok to date just for fun... dating is not a game. This is where courting generally helps cut down on the breakups and in the long run saves many broken hearts.

Girls, talk to your parents! See what they think about it. Maybe you feel that dating is ok, but they do not. This is when you have to choose to obey them even if it isn’t what you want to do. They have your best interest at heart and they know you better than you think they do. Trust and obey them b/c I promise you that if you go behind their back and date a guy God will not bless your relationship.



Praying for you!

JEN

9 comments:

Jodie said...

This is pretty much my exact thoughts! Whenever I'd think of how I wanted my relationship to go, I didn't really want to date, but I didn't want to court either. I just wanted things to flow naturally and go how they were suppose to go without labels. This post is so true. I liked what you said about "Just like going to church doesn't make you a Christian, courting doesn't make you pure." Soooo, so true!

Jodie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sierra said...

I think you did a great job of explaining this Jen.I think I'm somewhere in the middle.I can do double dates and alone dates.I don't think I would mind double dating with my parents even.I just don't want to date until I'm pretty serious about the guy.Sierra♥

Jolene said...

When it comes to dating, aren't you "allowed" to choose who you want to meet?

And when it comes to courting, isn't it more common that your father choose a guy for you?

I don't know what you feel about that. I'm just saying that's a difference that I have at least discovered.

Rae said...

wow.. Really enjoyed this post..
I also sometime get stuck trying to explain how I feel about dating/courting.. I like how you make it more of a heart issue...

Islandfoglifter said...

oh how i love this post! i believe in courting all the way, i can't stand when people date just to date you know. i love your background too!

Love Unawakened said...

Jolene- Thanks for the comment! I've never really heard of it exactly like that although I have heard it where courting involves the parents more where dating is more of an isolated thing. That may be exactly true though!

Alexis Kaye said...

I'm with ya! I don't think it matters much what you call it. For me I view courting as a higher level of committment, which obviously is more likely to lead to married. Courting or dating, staying away from sexual sin is tough!

Ted Moore said...

Dating is different on courting. Dating is just a first stage on knowing the person that you may court someday if you are a guy.