Wednesday, October 28, 2009

He Could Be Alright...

Hey Chickas!

Tonight I wanted to talk to you about standards other than just purity. Cuz you can have purity standards and fight to uphold them, but if you're going for the wrong guys it'll be a hard fought battle- harder than it has to be. I know that several of my friends and I have a list for what we want in a future husband. I HIGHLY encourage you to make one of these lists. Don't just brainstorm what you want, WRITE IT DOWN. Develop a well thought out list (not just "needs to be cute"), write it down, and keep it somewhere safe. You are probably asking "what's the point of the list?" Well first of all it lets you evaluate what you really want to spend the rest of your life with. Second of all, the list isn't just a guide for your future husband, it's a guide for all your boyfriends. Let's be honest, if you wouldn't spend the rest of your life with him, what's the point of keeping him around? By getting into a relationship with a guy who doesn't make the cut, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Having a list written down is more beneficial than you think. It comes in handy to have something to look at when you are trying figure out if he could be alright. Sometimes we forget what we really want when a cute guy pays attention to us. So next time a guy starts flirting with you, don't be afraid to go home and put him up to the test. Who knows, "he could be alright." ;)

Something to remember when you make the list, the Bible specifically warns against being "unequally yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14). Now if you're like I was not too long ago, you're probably thinking something along the lines of "what on earth does it mean to be unequally yoked?" lol. Have no fear, I will explain. Mental picture, two oxen are hooked up to plow a field, what keeps them together? A yoke. In our lovely mental picture, the yoke symbolizes the bond of marraige. Now the ox on the left (you) is strong in it's faith and constantly trying to pull towards God and do his will. The ox on the right (your husband) is not into "religion" as he calls it and thinks Sundays were meant for football and nothing else. The ox on the left is constantly pulling one way, and the ox on the right is pulling the other way, and in turn, they go NOWHERE. Not a pretty picture huh? Well you may being saying "well it's not like I'm gonna date a non-christian." Let's put a twist in here, both oxen are believers. But the left ox is a baptist, and the right ox is a catholic. They are eventually gonna end up the same way as the oxen from our first scenario. Do you get what I'm saying? You want to have the same basic belief system as your future husband. And that includes purity. You are not gonna want to spent your entire dating relationship fighting to keep from going too far. I encourage you to keep that in mind as you make your lists.

Until next time, Kat


Anonymous said...

I suggest "What He Must Be" by Voddie Baucham

Fat Daddy

Giann said...

Please don't take anything I say as offense! I just want to tell you my thoughts.

First of all, I will court not date.
Second, the reason for that is we are not actually supposed to be looking for a guy instead we need to be foucused on serving the Lord and waiting on his timing. (Btw, its okay to make a list. I have one already.)
I know what your're trying to say but some girls who will come across your site are in middle school or highschool. Some of them probably aren't dating.
I know you started this site because you wanted girls to stay pure during their teen years.

Please visit me on my blog and I can explain it better.

Anonymous said...

Fat Daddy- thanks for your comment. I will definitely check this out.

Giann- I don't take offense to what you said. On the contrary I agree with most of it. And I'm glad you decided to share your thoughts. I hope everyone feels free to share their thoughts on any of my posts!

Following your second point- I agree that we should not necessarilly be "looking" for a guy. Perhaps I didn't make that as clear as I should have. However, if the thought "he is kinda cute" so much as enters my mind, I usually put a guy to the test right then and there.

And your third point- This may surprise you, but I don't date. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't intend to anytime soon. However, I am a member of the second largest church in Alabama. And I would estimate 90% of my youth group have already begun dating. The fact is that you and I are in minority. As a speaker and debater, it is my duty to know my audience. And my audience in this case is mostly active in dating. Most of what I said caters to both the dating and non-dating groups. Feel free to take those parts and run with it.

Everyone has different beliefs, you're not gonna agree with everything I say. But I encourage you to keep listening.

Hope this helps you understand where I'm coming from, please don't take offense to anything I said.

Giann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Giann said...

I didn't! Thank you for responding! I go to a big church, too! I don't go to the youth group in that church because its too big!

I can't wait to hear more!