Monday, September 20, 2010

Slippery Slope...

Here are the facts... God created Sex. Humans want sex. God put guidelines on sex. Humans are sinners and have a hard time obeying rules. Therefore it can often be like sliding down a slippery slope... unless you don't even start down the slope... you stay at the top. Get where I'm going with this? Girls sin is EASY to fall into. Another blogger did a wonderful post a few months back about the ladder to intimacy. It was talking about how holding hands leads to close hugs, close hugs lead to kissing, kissing leads to making out, and so on and so forth. I'm not saying by any means that you cant hold hands or hug (some people rather not already, but I'm more focusing on the people who believe its ok to hold and and be semi close), but I am (as Ive done many times before) saying that you need to know where you stand, what you are willing to do, and what you are willing to let the guy do. I've had girls ask me some tough questions lately that honestly I had never thought about. I'm the person who talks about, writes about, and etc all the time about purity and so I'm sure if I haven't thought about it many other girls have not.

Just a warning...If you are appalled (meaning you would never think of letting a guy do that to you until marriage) then this means that you have set your purity standard higher. That is GREAT! Just understand that each girl is different and God has called her to a different level of purity.

  • Would you let a guy rub your legs (With his legs or hands)?
  • Would you let a guy put his hand up your shirt (Not like feel you up, but just rub your stomach.)
  • What about touch your butt?
  • How much alone time especially in the dark will you spend with a guy?
  • Will you sit in a guys lap?
Here are some other questions that we've already discussed,  but I want to make sure you girls know where you stand!
  • When will you be willing to kiss a guy?
  • Is phone sex an option?
  • How far will you allow him to touch you?
  • When will you be willing to say, "I love you"?
  • How involved will your parents be?
  • What do you want in a husband?
These are some good questions that are absolutely necessary to think about! I want to hear your answers! Not necessarily to each one, but any of these that maybe God has really convicted you about. We do alot of sharing our beliefs and convictions on here, but we at the same time want to know what YOU believe in! So, please share... we are listening! :)

JEN

5 comments:

Ashley said...

As to that first set of questions... absolutely not. The alone time thing... I don't think that'd be a big deal. It's nice to hang out with friends (and if you're dating I'd say your bf is one of your best friends, no?) But the rest? Heck no.

The second set of questions...
after dating a looong time
no
nothing inappropriate
when I'm 100% sure... or say "I love you as a friend" type thing
quite a bit... both by choice and because I have no choice =P
aaand I'm not 100% sure about the last question

Katherine said...

Just to get this out of the way, I don't know about phone sex, so that's out of the questions. :p To put it simply, I will allow all of those things when we are married. Haha. As for before marriage, right now I think that when we are engaged we'll hold hands and maybe hug. I'm still not sure what physical contact will be when I am engaged-I think its a bridge I'll have to cross when I get there.Unless of course G-d shows me otherwise. But I do want to say "I love you" before we get married-I think its something to take very very seriously, but that needs to be said before we enter matrimony.Said with truth of course.
Its a constant journey! May G-D lead us all clearly.
Great post!

Blessings
Katherine

Daughter of the King said...

Great questions to ask ourselves. I know that my love language is physical touch, so I've struggled with properly setting boundary lines in my Courtship, but my bf and I do have conversations about these things and have set our guidelines.

J and I said 'I love you' to one another within the first month of Courting....we both meant it and I had loved him for the prior 4 months when we were just friends. I never say things I don't mean...

As for my bf and I we do hold hands, hug each other, and yes we have kissed each other. *Just a note here: a kiss is lovely, kisses are wonderful, but kissing over and over again can make things a little bit harder to focus on sticking to your boundary lines.*

These things are lovely to share with the one whom you love, and both J and I feel that our relationship is God honoring. I am so glad to have boundary lines set, and to know that J is guarding my heart...at all costs! =)

Blessings to you Jen & Kat,
Sarah

P.S. When my bf and I first started our relationship he was the first one to bring up what our boundary lines should be. I was floored that he was actually bringing it up...it made me love and respect him so much more...and I'm glad that we got that awkward convo out of the way within the first month of our Courtship!

Sierra said...

* Would you let a guy rub your legs (With his legs or hands)?
* Would you let a guy put his hand up your shirt (Not like feel you up, but just rub your stomach.)
* What about touch your butt?
* How much alone time especially in the dark will you spend with a guy?
* Will you sit in a guys lap?


None.

* When will you be willing to kiss a guy?
Wedding day.
* Is phone sex an option?
No and I am not quite sure exactly...
* How far will you allow him to touch you?
None until wedding day.
* When will you be willing to say, "I love you"?
After engagement?

* How involved will your parents be?
On a score of 1 to 10 (10 being there on like every time I see him) 6 1/2.

* What do you want in a husband?
Kindness,Humor,Gentleness,
loves me(duh,lol),wants me but can restrain himself,booklover,
music lover,willing to watch tv till 12:30 p.m.,a night person(like me),a good talker yet also a good listener,longer hair and loves GOD.
*note* there are probably more but this is just of the bat and they are not in like I want this more or this less order.
Sierra

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

As a mom of a teen daughter (16) reading this post gives me more reason to be on my knees for your generation!

I write a feature Teen Talk Tuesday weekly on my blog to help encourage teens - first in purity of heart, purity of mind and body!

Although the bible is not 100% clear on the topics you discussed in detail.

Your body is a holy temple - a gift - meant to be only opened and share with your husband. Boyfriends come and go. Husbands are forever!

Let me encourage you all to NOT give away any part of your body meant only for your husband to see and touch. One kiss leads to many. One touch leads to more.

Remember a sin is a sin is a sin.

And premarital intimacy is a sin.

Please learn the truth about your worth in Christ Jesus and His love for you as a prized possession - royalty of the King of Kings!

Blessings,
Miss Jill