When Jennifer asked me this week if I would be willing to write out my testimony, I jumped at the chance to share how amazing God has been in my life. However, as I sat down to write, I really had questions about which direction I should go in. I believe your testimony is more than just how you got saved. Those are great, and I love hearing them! But I believe that we should have many testimonies. God wants to do so much more in our lives than just save us! That’s only the beginning! Jesus died so that we could have freedom in every area of our lives. He is constantly wanting to draw us to Himself and help us with whatever we are struggling with.
So anyway, one of the many wonderful things God has done for me is redeem me from the pain of a broken relationship. Long story short, I started talking to a guy whom I believed might be the one I could one day marry. He expressed the same feelings for me, and he had even been talking to leaders in his church for advice about me. He seemed like a great godly guy, and I thought that he met my “list” quite perfectly actually. Well, some things happened and he just turned out to be completely different that what he had shown at first. He also claimed that he had simply lost interest in me, and he was very quick to move on to another girl. All of this of course hurt me deeply. I have struggled with insecurity and low self-esteem for years, and being rejected by this guy that I trusted and had deep feelings for was extremely painful. I was angry about the situation, and I didn’t understand why something like that would happen to me. I’m not the type of girl who dates around for fun. Before this guy, I had never really had a boyfriend, and that is because I have always believed that God has ONE person set apart for only me. And I don’t need to go looking for him. Ladies, we are not called to be the pursuers! That’s the man’s job! I believe we are to be like Sleeping Beauty (as weird and childish as that may sound), resting (or asleep, if you will) in the presence of God, allowing Him to grow us and allowing Him to be our one and only passion until He brings that right man (your prince!) along. Now, I am not saying that it is a sin to date. If God has given you the liberty to do so, then go for it! Just always make God your number one priority.
So, anyway (sorry for the rabbit trails!), needless to say I did not heed my own advice in this area because I let my emotions tell me what was best for me. And even though he seemed like such a godly guy, and that eventually got my emotions very confused about what the right decision was, I knew from the beginning that something was wrong. But the great news is that even when we mess up completely, God is still right there! In the midst of heartache, I learned to let the Lord romance me. I know it may sound kind of strange to think of God as a Romancer, a Lover even. But it is very Biblical! Song of Solomon in the Bible is not only about a man and a woman; it is also about Jesus, Who is madly and passionately in love with His bride (that’s you and me!). I would highly encourage you all to read it in this light. The truth is, God longs for us so deeply. His love is so powerful and captivating, and no other human love could ever begin to compare. Meditating on the beautiful love and romance of Jesus Christ brought healing and security to my heart when I was so broken. And even still when those feelings of insecurity come up, I can always reflect on how amazing God is and how much He has done. (Thank the Lord for the encouragement of amazing sisters in Christ also!!). Jesus has healed my heart and taught me to trust Him, and I am continuing (I pray!) to fall more and more in love with Him. I pray that you all will do the same. Just know that if you are facing any kind of insecurity or pain from relationships, you are so highly prized by God Himself. You are so very precious to Him! Give Him your heart, and He promises to NEVER let you down. And He is always faithful.