Friday, November 19, 2010

Questions!!

1. What are some things you would like in your future husband?

2. Do you believe you are ready for marriage?

3. What attracts you to a guy?

4. What makes you feel most "Loved" by a guy?

5. What is your biggest struggle as far as physical and emotional purity?

I cant wait to hear your answers!! :)

13 comments:

Anneliese said...

1) I'd like him to be braver and smarter than me, without being too serious. (He also must love Jesus more than he loves me, but that's a given!)

2) Not quite, but not far away. Maybe in a few years.

3) If I feel comfortable around him and my friends like him, then that's definitely something that attracts me - it means he's a lovely bloke!

4) I can't answer this one until I'm not single anymore :)

5) I have to stop jumping from brother in Christ to potential future husband when I think about certain guys...it's such an annoying problem! I don't want to fall in love with anyone until I'm convinced that he's the one God has in mind for me.

Far From Perfect said...

Thank you so much for this post! Your blog is such a blessing :) It is such a blessing to see other girls that totally struggle with the same thing!!

I don't have a big brother. I've always wanted one... so so so bad. When I was in Kindergarten, I used to imagine that my mom and dad had a little boy but couldn't take care of him. So, they put him in an orphanage and then one day, we would adopt him. Then - I would magically have an older brother. It seemed like a grand plan. Imagine the look on my mom's face when I asked if that was the truth.

I was pretty well-behaved as a kid. My imagination flew wild and I thought up so many things in my head about somehow getting an older brother. I look back and start laughing.

A couple years ago however though, it got harder and harder to know how to act. In fact, there was one person in particular that if I saw him, I would turn around and walk the other way. Growing up teaches you a lot of lessons! That year, I saw the problem so many of us had. We had no idea whatsoever how to act around each other.

So the guilt trip started. We would start feeling bad like we were doing something wrong. Then some of the guys would be brave enough to ask if they had done something wrong because of the way we were acting. It turned into one big mess.

In the past while - having two boys as two of my very best friends has made me completely change my perspective on guys. In fact, I thought most all of the girls were on the same page. Then, I started looking around. There were only a select few that would actually talk to young men. Strange?

It's such a blessing to find other girls that are thinking through the same thing! God is incredible and I know He gave us brothers for a wonderful reason!

In answer to your questions:
1) Someone who can lead and guide my heart most of all to better fall in love with the Savior of the World. I want him not to have conquered my heart and moved on to the next to-do in the list, but instead, that we may grow in unity and love in Jesus Christ together. There are some other big things, but that sure is the big one!

2) I still have a couple years to go.. but I know God is preparing me Lord Willing for that. It is a beautiful thing knowing that God is in full control of every single detail in my love story!

3) Probably someone who honors a young lady. They aren't boisterous or loud, but his confidence is clearly placed in the Lord. The way he treats his sister and his mom is something that I really appreciate the most! Another big one is that they are not afraid to talk to young ladies :)

4) I guess it backs up to what is love. If we are to love our brothers, our sisters - what does that really mean? I'm heading straight to 1 John 4:10 - 10:


This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins, Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.


Well. I think that pretty much answers it. If we really love our brothers and sisters, we want that person's purity and walk in God to be uplifted and not torn down. In other words, if our lives are controlled by God's Love, we will always want something so radically different then putting each others hearts on the line. If we put God's love at the cross on display, then how would that change the way we love each other? See where I'm getting at?

Far From Perfect said...

Since God's really put this on my heart, I've noticed I've loved the guys in my life a whole lot more than I did before - especially without romantic interest. Not the selfish kind of love but because God shows us in His Word what is truly loving.

5) Probably the big one for me is watching my heart! How easy it is to fall without even realizing it. When I first started really plugging in with friendships with the opposite sex, I really failed in this area. I thought it was pretty cool to have friends that are guys because well - they're guys :) I can't lie.. my heart fell pretty hard. God's taught me a lot and it's not something we can do on our own! Since then, these two young men who are two of my very best friends are sure like brothers. For example, right now there is another young man in my life that I have definitely found myself struggling with. Since well, they are guys :) it is amazing how much it helps to be able to talk to them about stuff like that. Same with Dads. I think they do read into things so much differently then us. They know how guys work and when you do have relationships like that, I believe God can use it to better help guard your heart. I think the hardest thing for me is when I do see myself struggling with a young man is giving away pieces of my heart . That's the big one! Even in conversation, we can share too much of our struggles etc, especially when it comes down to someone that we know we are struggling with. I think if their future wife was sitting next to you, you probably wouldn't be saying the same things :) Also, I've found that I struggle more when it's in the presence of just one young man over and over. Pursuing a relationship with just one guy and no one else involved really just in the end always usually ends in heart ache and emotions that shouldn't be given away. In my own life, we've been walking out onto unknown stuff. We're truly been trying really hard to make guys and girls friends with this insight. We had this idea. No one knew where to start. So we jumped in. At first, it was a mess. It's a WHOLE LOT easier said then done. We sure are learning a lot. None of us still know what we're doing. But, with the council of our parents, we've been working through it.

The really encouraging thing is that God has a really really great plan in store. Every single person He has put in my life at this time is for a purpose. Every single relationship is a opportunity to learn more about how to model Christ's love. All of this are in this together. None of us have the complete box-type cookie cutter examples. Brothers need sisters. We can't be sisters if we don't know how to treat brothers like brothers. Building up edifying relationships sometimes means tearing down the old. Brothers will show you your issues more than anyone else. :) God uses them to give you perspective, encouragement, and "sharpen" you better for the battle with the world. Being friends with brothers and sisters right now, right here prepare us for the calling God has for us in the future. If we don't know how to love our brothers (or our sisters) now, we won't be able to honor our husband (or wives) in the future.

Keep fighting sisters!!!!!!

Far From Perfect said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gaby said...

1) i would love for him to enjoy art and photography like me, it would be awesome if we could work together. but above everything he has to love the Lord above everything, including me! ;)
2) not yet... i'm just 17, still have LOTS to learn!
3) he is himself. he doesn't act differently being around different people, he's comfortable being who he is. he's friendly and makes me laugh. he can enjoy the simple things in life, and he doesn't care about my looks that much.
4) knowing he is my friend, that he'll be there for me when i need it, and he will make sacrifices for me. that he will ACT, and not just SAY pretty words.
5) i believe is more the emotional aspect; i tend to expect too much from people, but no one is perfect. but the physical as well... as a good brazilian, we are very 'physical', we are always hugging and kissing people, so i'll have to be very careful about that.

Gaby said...

1) i would love for him to enjoy art and photography like me, it would be awesome if we could work together. but above everything he has to love the Lord above everything, including me! ;)
2) not yet... i'm just 17, still have LOTS to learn!
3) he is himself. he doesn't act differently being around different people, he's comfortable being who he is. he's friendly and makes me laugh. he can enjoy the simple things in life, and he doesn't care about my looks that much.
4) knowing he is my friend, that he'll be there for me when i need it, and he will make sacrifices for me. that he will ACT, and not just SAY pretty words.
5) i believe is more the emotional aspect; i tend to expect too much from people, but no one is perfect. but the physical as well... as a good brazilian, we are very 'physical', we are always hugging and kissing people, so i'll have to be very careful about that.

throwpebbles said...

1. Some things I want in a future husband are that he's able to talk about important issues with me, he's intellectual, (so I can have interesting conversations with him) he doesn't care how crazy I can be. :)

2. To be honest, I don't think I'm ready at all for marriage. But I think a lot of that is simply that I haven't met the right guy yet. I'm only 15 (for only one more month), but I think that when I meet the right guy I'll be ready.

3. To be honest, physical traits do at first. Then I get to know them and it's their personality. Basically, if they're friendly and cute, I'm attracted most of the time. :)

4. I feel most "loved" by a guy when they treat me like a sister, with proper respect that I deserve, and when they give me hugs. :) I love hugs.

5. My biggest struggle is with physical stuff, I think, which is tied in with emotional. Not as much as going all the way, but whenever a guy I`m attracted to holds me, has his arm around me, plays with my hair, anything it makes it harder.

These are really interesting responses, too! I`ve been having fun reading them!

Becca

Tessa Emily Hall ~ Christ is Write said...

Love these questions! =)
~~

1. What are some things you would like in your future husband?

He can't just be the "label" Christian - he has to be on fire for the Lord. I need someone who will be able to encourage me with my walk with Christ, and it's not worth it to settle for any less! I've also been into the guys who are more quiet, humble, and artsy. Sports aren't really my thing... and although opposites do attract, I don't want to marry a guy whose obsessed with sports and science and can't relate to any of my art-related-passions. Yes, these types of guys are very rare, I know. But God's in control. =)

2. Do you believe you are ready for marriage?

Not yet, God still has some work to do in me first. Besides, I'm only seventeen (well, I will be next week). Although my mom got married when she was eighteen... I just don't think I'll be ready by then. In order to marry, you need to find the guy first. Right?

3. What attracts you to a guy?

Like I said, someone who is different from the rest and isn't influenced by the "teen" culture. Also someone who takes dating very seriously, unlike a very large portion of the teen guys that I know. I love brown hair on guys, too. Not that it matters or anything, it's just my preference. =)

4. What makes you feel most "Loved" by a guy?

Well, I don't know yet. But I will probably feel most loved when he proves it instead of just saying it... such as, taking me out on "romantic" dates (not just the movies). I sound very picky...

5. What is your biggest struggle as far as physical and emotional purity?

Honestly, I don't have a huge struggle in physical purity. Ever since I was young, I've never considered a guy as "hot". I just don't like judging by appearance. But like Anneliese mentioned, one of my struggles is to stop looking at guys as potential future husbands and instead as brothers in Christ (which is mentioned also in the book that I'm currently reading, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". Great book. You should look into it if you haven't already.)

abigail oliveros said...

1. to be honest I think I've found him. I know we're still young but we've been together through high school and entering reality after we graduate will be hard. But if it's not him, it would be someone like him.

2. no, but if i do ending up deciding yes right away. no kids until a few years. I just want to spend marriage for awhile with just me and my spouse

3. they way he soothe me

4. wanting to just sleep and rest together. not doing anything but talk and rest other than that play wrestling on the bed

5. i trust on my current boyfriend that he will be there forever.

Meggie said...

1. What are some things you would like in your future husband?
Strong, able to protect me, loving, caring and dedicated to God one hundred percent (or close to it! :D )

2. Do you believe you are ready for marriage?
No, not yet!

3. What attracts you to a guy?
Mostly how they talk and their faith level. If they are respectful, gallant, and/or serving God they catch my eye. :d

4. What makes you feel most "Loved" by a guy?
I dont know.

5. What is your biggest struggle as far as physical and emotional purity?
Thinking about guys in a lustful ways, God looks at the heart, and loving everyone purely has been a great struggle for me lately, I cannot seem to reign in my thoughts. Thoughts like, oh, he's hot etc.

Blessings,
Meggie

Ariel said...

1. Jesus lover, tall, solid, knows me well, honest, but sensitive, and productive (calloused hands -- no girly video game ones! ;))

2. No way! Haha. Maybe 6 years? from now?

3. A passion for God, and good looks (I know that's bad but I really can't help it).

4. Not sure. Probably him outright saying it, and staying 100% loyal to me (like not even glancing at other girls), maybe?.

5. Thinking about every older guy that glances at me (sometimes not even that!) as a potential future husband. (Even if I don't like them!) Yechh!

Libbi H. said...

1. I would like him to be a Christian, be Pro Life, Have ALL the same values as me(way to many to post in this comment), Be protective(in a good way, like, the if someone trys to rob you I'll kill them kind of protection :) and it wouldn't hurt if his name was Fitzwilliam Darcy...
2. I think I would be ready, if it weren't for me being 15... lol I am definitely not ready yet:)
3. When boys are protective, also, when they care about modesty, and when they like me for me( not to sound like a cliche, but...), when they aren't moody, when they are fun and happy :)
4. Although I am not necessarily qualified to answer this:)I really like it when guys are protective( if you haven't already noticed)
5. Probably more with being pure emotionally. It is really hard sometimes to not have a crush on a guy when they are cute, and protective( I know ,I know) The physical part is not really as hard.

Libbi H. said...

And I totally agree with anneliese on the whole Jumping from brother to potential husband. I need to work on that.