Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Thinking past what you see!

Most of you girls have purity standards. That is amazing! I am honestly impressed when I read blogs by how strong you girls are. It is really great. I have been really thinking about it though and you hardly ever hear of standards when engaged. I know that people have different of opinions versus dating and therefore engagement would look different. For the typical engagement though should there be any difference in purity standards? Honestly I have no opinion on this one. I’m still thinking it through and what I would tell others. What do you think though? Have you even thought about it? I will encourage you with one thing though… It is just the same as dating in the part that you need to decide before it comes. It is a total different dynamic when all of the sudden you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person and you know this is the person you will one day have sex with. It is more pressure. Now is the time to decide what you stand for! So share some thoughts! J



Natasha Atkerson said...

I agree completely about engagement as far as physically. However, I think emotionally it should change gradually (I wouldn't tell my deepest feelings and thoughts to someone I wasn't planning on spending my life with!). Anyway, just my thoughts! :)
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{Spaghetti*Brain} said...

I think physical boundaries should remain the same-- I'm not sure how it is for other girls (no one is exactly the same). But after holding hands with a guy and getting far enough (even though not all the way) physically, my perspective has changed. Forming friendships, especially with guys is more difficult. If I think they're starting to get too close, I give 'em the cold shoulder, whether I mean to or not. In a sense though, I'm glad I went through this. Though I will never have that innocent state of mind again, I now have more empathy towards people-- I understand the difficulty of withstanding even the slightest tempation (for it all goes downhill so easily). And as a Christian, I see how dark the world is, and feel it more often than not. I can better reach out to those who struggle with hopelessness, and not be so quick to judge whenever someone makes a decision that used to seem so "terrible" to me.

On the spiritual and emotional aspect, I know the Bible says to guard you heart. Not that I disagree with this, but I think it's sometimes good to share what's going on (with the right people, of course), and not necessarily just with boyfriends/potential boyfriends. You may disagree with this, which is fine. I don't expect everyone to agree with me :) When I meet someone for the first time, I kinda remain aloof, until I have a better understanding for his/her character. If the person is someone who realizes that there is more to life than the mundane, daily routine, I begin to share the deeper parts of my mind. Life is short, and as of late, time seems to be in a crunch. My goal in life is to make each day count in my life and others'. (Do I always follow that? Heh, no.) What's the point of having "friends" if you're really only acquaintances? Granted, there are some people with whom I wouldn't share ANYthing.

I'm considering just writing a post about this. My answers to these kinds of questions are never short, sorry 'bout that. I'm one of those "all 'r nothin'" kind of people ;)

In short: I try to make life count by sharing with others, saved or unsaved, my wonderful yet terrible, beautiful, ugly experiences to show that I'm human too, even though I'm a Christian. I try to ask the hard questions for those who are afraid to ask, but want to know the answers, and I cry for those who don't know how to cry for themselves or don't know they should.

Hope you can make sense of all this wibbly-wobbly jumbled jargon. And hence, my name is {Spaghetti*Brain} ;)

Lisa said...

I agree with others that the physical should stay the same. Just because 2 people are engaged doesn't mean they WILL marry. Engagements DO get broken off. I like Natasha's answer with the emotions changing gradually. How do you marry when the two of you don't know each other emotionally and spiritually? Getting deep emotionally and spiritually is different from the sexual component because we take those risks with girl friends, and those friendships can end. We're used to that. We bounce back, grow, and learn who to trust and open up to.