You are worth more... If you are sexually active

Hopefully this title caught you off guard and made you question my sanity. Today in class a friend of mine was giving a presentation on a book about self image. It was very interesting, but one thing she said caught my attention. The world sees it as if you are sexually active you are worth more... Meaning if you are not sexually active then it must be no guy finds you attractive. This is a LIE! It is so true that our culture believes this though... It breaks my heart. This is right opposite of the truth, yet so many girls believe this lie! I am here to tell you that if you are not sexually active that does NOT mean that you are any less valuable. Honestly, in most God loving guys eyes they see you as a precious jewel because you have not given yourself away. I want to say though that if you have had sex you are without a doubt still worth more than you can imagine! God heals and restores. For the purpose of this post though i want to get the point across that if you have not been sexually active or have been and has gotten back right with God you are worth more than you can imagine! It is not in the least a bad thing that you aren't sexually active. To tell you the truth I'm sure there are many guys that would date you if you would have sex with them, but the reason they aren't dating you is because they do not want to give up sex. Multiple guys would be honest with me that because i wouldn't kiss them they didn't want to date me. It was a sad reality, but I am glad to know that they knew i was serious. I meant what i said and was not going to let some random boy kiss me. Stick to your guns and do not believe the world! YOU ARE WORTH LIFE! Jesus died for you specifically because He found value in you! Hold on tight to that truth. Today you may be man less, but one day you will have a man who appreciates more than you can comprehend that you waited and didn't have careless sex to find your identity. It is worth the wait!

With care,
JEN

Money Monday

Tip- Reuse gifts! My family use to make the most fun of me b/c i would do this all the time! I still do, but with a little more class than i use to! :) i was known for giving my toys as Christmas presents. It was sweet, but none the less funny. Now I am talking about that kitchen utensil that you already had so you didn't really need another one. The book that you already had. The candle or lotion that was like the zillioneth one you have. So on and so on. You know what I'm talking about. People give frames and then instead of using it the person just puts it in a drawer to collect dust. That's useless! Re give it! Be thoughtful about it, but don't let things go to waste. Especially when it is Christmas time and you are playing dirty Santa or something like that. Please for goodness sakes do not go buy something! You have plenty laying around your house! Think out of the box. Someone else may really like it or need it.

What seemed like such a short while ago...

So, can you tell that I have the blogging fever again and I am all into it? I really feel like I have alot to say. It may not mean anything to anyone else, but hopefully it will! :)

Everyone knows... I'm engaged (EEK!!!lol)! Have been for about 5 months. I could go on and on, but that isn't the point. The point is I fear that now all of the sudden I'm in the category of "one of those girls". You know the "Lucky" kind who found her love before age 30. I am not all of the sudden thrown in the category of, "She has no idea what it is like to be single". Welllllll oh contrar. As a matter of fact this time last year i was single.... very single... lol It is crazy... I know! Trust me. I've been thinking back alot this last week or so b/c soon it will be when Matt and I began talking. This post is not going to get into just wait or how God worked it all out. I have no doubt at all He did, but that will be saved for another post. Tonight I just wanted to say.... I am just like you. I am engaged and you may or may not be, but please do not write me off. I understand loneliness, fear of never finding the right one, begging God to send Him (You should read some of my journals!), and so on. I do see the other side though and I can offer hope. So often older women try to encourage us and they mean it out of the best heart, but the thing is it seems so distant and we don't see how they can understand what it feels like. Please know that I am only mere 20. Sometimes I feel like this last year has been a crazy roller coaster, but at the same time I know it is the divine will of God.


All this to say.... Please know that where I am coming from is no old woman who has had a man forever. I know the pain of wondering, waiting, and longing. I write from the heart and with brutal honesty sometimes. I want to encourage you and push you on when you feel like giving in. Purity is worth it. That's all I have to say tonight!

Much love,
JEN

Money Monday

Hi ladies! So since I love to save money i figured i would give some random tips! You may think, "Duhhhh doesn't everyone do that!" or you may think "Duhhhhh why did I never think of that?!"! Either way enjoy! :)

Tip- Cut dryer sheets in half or in fourths! I remember my mom use to do this and i always wondered why. Those boogers are expensive! You will be amazed how it really makes no difference at all except you get 2 or 3 times as many out of the box!

Musings from an engaged woman...

So I had planned on rather retiring this blog, but the longer it went the more I missed it and I realized I had stuff I wanted to say. That leads us to here... Posting again! :) I am now in another whole season of life that I never thought would come. Really... I was telling Matt today that I never thought I would be 20 and engaged. Here I am though! I am SO glad I did some things the way I did and I've also learned some things. So, since I am crazy busy (who isn't?!) I won't post as much as I use to, but I would like to continue posting. Most will be about purity while others may be about wifely things! I love saving money, cleaning and cooking! I might add some of those things as well! :) lease comment so that I know someone is reading and I'm not just wasting my time! :) For now... Happy Thanksgiving!!

Jen

Abuse- Real stuff

So I said I wasn’t going to be blogging much or anymore, but God has really been teaching me something and I wanted to share it. I would love to spare someone else from learning something the hard way! J Im going to tell a long story short with very few details. I was physically taken advantage of, but way more than that emotionally abused by a friend. It was only a few years ago. I went to counseling and thought I had it all together. I never once said I was angry at the person. For that matter I always quickly said that I forgave them. If you knew me much you would know that my personality is quite completely opposite of anger. I wasn’t even sure I knew how to feel angry. My parents kept asking me and expecting me to be, but I wasn’t. Long story short years have passed and I almost hardly ever thought about it. Until one night I broke. I cried and cried and cried. More tears than I had cried in all my life put together. Matt was the sweetest and even though he couldn’t understand or really answer any of my questions that had been buried for so long. I told him everything I could remember that the person did, said, every way they deceived, lied, and hurt me. I had never had anyone sit down and listen to it all…. Either I had covered it up or they didn’t care to listen. Also a lot had been blocked…. When I would think of one thing it would remind me of another thing. It went on and on and on. I remembered more than I thought I did and as I began to face the stories the emotions came back that I had held hidden for so long. It was amazing how refreshed I felt the next morning when I began seeking the face of the Lord over what had happened. It hit me like a ton of bricks though when I was reading in Matthew where God talks about anger and allowing HIM to get revenge. Ouch… I had never looked at the situation through the eyes of anger. I had, but I didn’t see it as that. I was angry at what they did, that the person didn’t seem to care a lick afterwards, that the people I did choose to share this private info with either didn’t stand up for me, turned away, or completely, ditched me. Not once had someone ever just said tell me what you remember… they always acted awkwardly, talked as if they knew it all, or chose the easy way out. Not one was a true friend. I would have never admitted it before, but I was hurt and angry about it. Can I put a plug in here? Talk to your parents… My parents were the only ones that supported me fully! We didn’t talk about it much because I chose not to, but they stepped up, defended me, protected me, comforted me, got me the help I needed, and so much more. If you are dealing with anything like this I challenge you to talk to your parents! They love you like no one else ever will. So back to the point though I had been angry and didn’t even realize it. Not like punching angry, but I had built up a wall between God and people. “Why did He let that happen to me? I was so innocent.” I kept asking Matt. He had nothing to say except that it wasn’t in vain and that it had a purpose. I cried again. I began to beg God to tear down that wall I had built up out of hurt, pain, and anger. I had also built it between people.  You probably would have never seen it If you knew me, but I had often over the past few years wondered why it wasn’t just a flow of love like it use to be. It was harder and seemed unreal sometimes. That’s because I viewed everyone through the eyes of they would hurt me. The wall wasn’t torn down instantly and it probably still isn’t, but I am in the process of tearing it down piece by piece. I share this with you for a few reasons… First if you have been abused in ANY fashion do not bottle it up. It will come out at some point and until it does it will just fester and fester getting uglier and uglier. Be real. Its ok to admit the pain and anger. God knows it anyway. I personally think it is better to be honest that you are angry than to fake that you aren’t. That’s lying and being angry then. Be real. Then talk to someone. I pray that you have someone who will just listen to you as much as you want to talk and share. That is a special gift. If you are a friend of someone who has gone through something like this or been abused in anyway LISTEN! Don’t try to answer, fix, or anything. If you aren’t sure you can handle it then don’t start listening. Stick it out. True friends do. Whatever you do not make your friend regret that they told you. They trust you with valuable information. Respect it! If you have been through something or know someone who has I’m willing to listen. That is one good thing that came out of all of it, I felt a call into counseling to help others who faced things like this. I’m here and I do care! Feel free to email me anytime jennifer.rochester@charter.net . I wish I would have had someone to listen. Please pray for me as I continue to grow from this and I pray for anyone of you who may be dealing with any of this. You are loved and you deserve for someone to listen to you!

 With all that said… Abuse is real. I do not tell you all of this to get pity or anything of the sort. I tell you this to give glory to God and to be real with you myself. I want to be an example and an encouragement to others. I wish i would have read something like this when i was going through it all...

It doesn’t have to be all out rape to be abuse. Abuse in many cases is overlooked because the person abused is so deceived that they actually believe they deserve it. Girls (and guys for that matter!) STAND UP! You have the right to be hurt and upset! You have the right to be heard and cared for! Know that I am praying for you and that I do care. You are beautiful and loved!

Jen

Blogging Break

Blogging Break

Hi Gals! How are you all? Sooooo I’ve been praying and thinking a lot and I feel that it is God’s will that I take a break from blogging. I will soon be taking on new adventures and I feel as if I am entering a new stage of life! It is amazing, but can also be overwhelming. Please pray for me as I soon become one of the girl RA’s at college, start back college, and so forth. I’m looking forward to a new season of life! Of course I will post if I have any earth awakening news or thoughts! I will also continue reading your blog! J Praying for you girls!!

JEN