I'M ENGAGED!!!

I’M ENGAGED!!! Those are the words that every girl dreams of saying one day!! As of Sunday around 11:15 am I am engaged to the sweetest, Godliest, hard working, smart, handsome, man that I could ever ask for! I’ve mentioned a few times on here that I was in a relationship. I want this post to be as much of an encouragement to you as it is about my excitement.

Matt and I have not been dating for long, but since early on we knew we were right for each other. It is almost been exactly 6 months. We met at school. At first we honestly did not even notice each other. We liked other people and after different things happened we became friends and talked often which led to our relationship. Long story short soon we knew we were meant to be together for life. I had dated a few guys before and he hadn’t really dated at all. Anyway, he of course asked my dad’s permission to marry me and dad without hesitation said yes. They as well knew that he was the man for me! We both decided to wait until we finish college to get married just because it would be hard to be in college and newlyweds. This equals a rather long engagement, but we are ok with that. We have no doubt that God will use us during this time in a special way just like He will when we are married! Now to the proposal… What every girl wants to know!! J He knows me well! He did it in front of our entire church last Sunday morning. We were, along with another guy being recognized for helping out with the kids and teens when the pastor informs the congregation that Matt had something he wanted to share. At this point I had already seen my best friend from school, his family, and my family walk in so I knew something was up. He began to share how when penguins find the one they love they do certain things. For instance the male penguin will search and search for his perfect mate and then when he finds her he will begin searching for the prettiest, smoothest, roundest rock and he will kick it from even sometimes miles away to place it at her feet. So with this in mind he had 4 rocks with a letter written on each one in which they spelt out “Love”. On the other side they spelt “Trus” at this point after he had layed them around me he grabbed my hand and began telling me of how he had waited, prayed for me and found me. He knew that I was the one for him. At this point Bro Bill standing behind him says, “I think you need one more rock!” That is when he is handed the ring! He then proceeds to get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife! J Of course I then gladly said, “YES!!”We hugged and the congregation excitedly applauded!! I honestly cannot remember what the rest of the service was about, but I can tell you I was the happiest woman alive! He had planned it so well and the ring was perfect! I had never told anyone, but always in the back of my mind I thought it would be nice to be asked in front of the church for one reason. I have stood so strong on purity. We had spoken to the youth about it, encourage the kids in it, and do our best to live it out for all to see. You probably already know, but we have vowed to not kiss until our wedding day. Many people find this hard to believe, but as he proposed they were able to watch and see that we only hugged and he kissed me on the top of the head. How many other girls would be ok with this? Very few! It was my untold dream though. Also he had people taking photos and video! Note to any guy… DO THIS! It means a lot to a girl! Anyway, also as far as the ring… he knew me well! I had told him a little of what I wanted but nothing to specific. I absolutely love it and believe it is the prettiest ring ever!! J Simple yet elegant! It was an exciting day! One I will remember forever! J

Now to you girls… yes it is a sweet story, but you may be thinking I will never find a guy like that! YES there are still men like that! They are few and far between, but I can promise you there are! As we sit back now and see how God brought us together we see how He had it all orchestrated. There were specific times that Matt needed prayer that I remember God laying on my heart to pray for my future husband. Same goes for him and me! God has someone in mind for you and He will be worth waiting on. I look back now and wonder why I made some of the decisions that I did. Nothing big, but things that I now regret. Dating isn’t a game or something to do just to pass time. Take it seriously and make decisions that honor your future spouse! There are good guys out there who will respect and love you for you. You will not have to give sex to receive love. Wait… Wait on a man who loves you for you and not for what you will give him! Wait for a man who will hold the door, kiss you on the forehead, and ask you about your relationship with the Lord! Trust me… It is worth waiting on! I would have never dreamed that I would be engaged at a young 20. I always feared I would be an old maid with no one in sight. God had a plan though! Who knows when you will get engaged, but I can promise you that God has a plan for you as well! Stay faithful… you never know when the right man will walk into your life! Do you want to be dating every guy around when he comes into your life? Just a few thought and challenges!

 Below are some pictures that were taken last Sunday! J Such a wonderful day!!

JEN  

Dating or Courting.... Either a sin?

So, the question is often asked, "Should I court or date?" This can be a very opinated topic and many people feel strongly one way or the other, but hopefully this post will help you see that it is not one or the other, but that it is about the heart. Each person has a different idea of courting. Some are more conservative and some are not. Some have a conservative idea of dating and some do not. Each persons’ idea is different. By Webster’s definition....


Dating: To have a date with

Courting: To engage in social activities within seek of engagement.


I will be honest with you girls from the beginning... I have no problem with a girl dating a guy (I'm in a dating relationship myself.), but I'm also very pro courting. What is the difference between the two? The main difference I see is that courting has the main purpose of leading to marriage where dating is often get together and break up the next day. My personal stand on this whole issue though is it is not what you call it, but how you handle it! I've known people who courted who got into just as much sin as people who dated did. I've also known plenty of people who dated who had a completely God honoring relationship. So, it is not about what you call it that makes one better than the other. It is how YOU act that makes the difference. It is often said that when dating you have more time alone and this can be true. Does it have to be though? Couples who are courting also have many opportunities to be alone. It is up to the couple to choose whether they take those opportunities or not. Do courting couples often stay further away from sexual sin? Some do and some don’t. It is the same exact thing with people who have dated.


Now I’m sure I have some of you pretty upset seeing that many of you have parents who only allow courting and that’s all you've ever really been allowed to do. That is great! Go thank your parents for that! My whole point in this is to make you realize that it is not what you call it that makes it OK or not it is what you do and how you act that makes it OK or not! Just like going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, courting does not make you pure. Also, to any parents who read my blog.... Just b/c your child courts and does not date, this is not an "I'm safe from anything happening" Seek God.... See what HE wants you to do! It may be date, court, or somewhere in the middle! As I’ve said time and time before, you know where you struggle and if dating causes to many temptations then do not do it!

I do believe that courting has one VERY strong pull and that is that it generally is wayyyyyy more focused on marriage. I see girls who date guy after guy and it becomes nothing for them to break up and a broken heart almost becomes nothing. is this the way it is suppose to be? NO! Dating was never mentioned in the Bible. The purpose of dating is to find the one and only man you will marry. I am not for any other kind. It is not OK to date just for fun... dating is not a game. This is where courting generally helps cut down on the breakups and in the long run saves many broken hearts. You can court and give your heart away just as easily though...

Girls, talk to your parents! See what they think about it. Maybe you feel that dating is OK, but they do not. This is when you have to choose to obey them even if it isn’t what you want to do. They have your best interest at heart and they know you better than you think they do. Trust and obey them b/c I promise you that if you go behind their back and date a guy God will not bless your relationship.

Below is a list of healthy relationship habits whether it be courting or dating relationship!

1. Do not spend to much time alone
2. Have Emotional Boundaries  (I love you, how dependant, etc)
3. Have Physical Boundaries (Self explanatory... think of all possibilities ahead of time!)
4. Involve parents
5. Have accountability partners
6. PRAY
7. Seek the face of God...
8. Keep friends (Besides your significant other)

Praying for you!

JEN

Living Above Reproach

Hi Gals! Long time no chat.. God has been teaching me a lot this last week and i wanted to share some of it with you! One of the main things is how we are called to live above reproach. This is often used, but rarely lived out. How do you do this? What does it look like? I am here to challenge you to find what it looks like in your life! Recently there were things that came up that I could have easily been accused of doing something that i did not do. As it was talked out I was found Innocent. How was i found innocent? Because by God's grace my life was above reproach in this situation. Now please do not think that I'm bragging or saying that I am perfect in any kind of way whatsoever. This has challenged me in other areas of my life to see if I am above reproach there as well. When someone looks at your life do you live in such a way that they can easily believe what you say? Can they easily believe that your intentions were of the best? Can they easily see that you seek to honor God with your life? Sometimes it is obvious one way or the other, but from what I have observed in life often people are on the line. They aren't obviously out to do wrong, but at the same time they are not obviously out to honor God either. I challenge you to examine your life... In what ways are you not living above reproach? What things do you do that if someone found out they would be deeply disappointed. We all have secrets and past, but the point is what you are doing now. So I challenge you! Think...ponder.... pray... Seek the face of Jesus over this... What ways is your life not meeting the standards of our Lord? In what ways are you not living above reproach? If someone accused you of something would your life be able to stand against their accusations? Would you have to defend yourself or could they see for themselves that you are not guilty. This is when your Christian walk means something!

Much care,
JEN

Prayer Request....

Dearest followers, I do not do this often, but i have a major prayer request that i would really like you to pray for. I do not do this often and rarely if ever have asked for a personal prayer request. My precious grandmother (Nana) received a call today that no one wants to get. She has not been feeling well for a while and has lost a massive amount of weight. Today her doctor called and said that her test had come back and she had........ cancer. It seems so common, yet so hard to say at the same time. It is one of those things that everyone else deals with, but it will never effect you. My grandmother is one of the humblest, sweetest, Godliest woman i know. I hate to even think of what faces her in the future. More test will determine what kind of chemo will be done, although we know that she will have to undergo chemo and that it is very serious. As we sat in the doctors office thousands of questions pass through your mind. The biggest one is why... why did this happen? Cancer is a part of life and it is no respecter of persons. She is the happiest, active, healthy senior adult you will ever meet. God, why? I know there is a reason.... I really do, but just in one day it's alot to take in. Tonight at church the pastor was talking about someone else who has cancer and how the illustration was used of Shaderack (Spl?), Meshack, and Abendigo. When they were discussing how God will save them from the fiery furnace they make the statement that their God can save them and If he doesn't He is still God. Meaning God is not required to save them. They believed He could and He did, but they also knew that He did not have to. Our family is fully aware that God does not have to heal my grandmother... Although we at the same time believe he completely can if He sees fit. Of course we are pleading that He sees fit, but trust in His plan! So with all that said please pray for Nana and the rest of us as well. This is a new adventure and I trust that God is God no matter what! Below are a few pictures of Nana!! :)

JEN

At Jon's Basketball Game! Nana is the one with the white hair. 

 Easter 2012

 Nana and I went on my Senior trip to Colorado back in 2010

 On our way in to Rockies Baseball game!

Way up high somewhere in Colorado! 

Katherine Guest Post

When I was 6, someone that was supposed to be safe in a place that was supposed to be safe, asked me if I wanted to kiss.  

I said yes.

When I was 6, someone who was supposed to be safe in a place that was supposed to be safe, touched me in  an inappropriate manner.

I said nothing.

I let it...because I liked it. 

That sounds terrible, and it's terrifying to write. But I must tell the truth.

It lasted I don't know how long, a few times here and there. It ended when my father discovered it.

When I was older & could consider it all, I sometimes thought- I'm messed up. I'm dirty. 

Why am I telling the Internet world this? Why am I telling you this? 

Because I believe that vulnerability heals. In the hidden, we shame ourselves, or let others shame us. We tell ourselves we're unworthy, or let others tell us. Whispers, constant whispers in our souls, telling us that our actions...our actions are more powerful than who we are.  

But is this true? No! Actions may often speak louder than words, but nothing speaks louder than the essence within us. It shines, lovely, whether you see it or not. Don't hide it with shame, guilt, self doubt, and regret. 

Release. Forgive yourself. 

I am so blessed to have a very conscious supportive mother. She did everything she could to prevent me feeling those negative feelings. She told me that it was natural that physical sensations should be pleasing. She encouraged me to speak to her about everything then, and ever after, so that secrets and lies wouldn't damage me. 

I know not all girls are so fortunate. My heart is with you, if you are one of the girls who has not spoken out, who feels rejected or unworthy, or has no support. I encourage you to speak your story, if you haven't, or be an open heart to hear stories. I encourage you to be vulnerable, with yourself first, let yourself off the hook, & keep yourself safe. It's scary to speak, but we are not as isolated as our silence convinces us. If you have no idea what or where a safe space is, I encourage you to seek out your local YWCA, and investigate their services. 

How did I release those feelings? How do I, rather. It's a choice, sometimes daily, to forgive myself (for any mistakes I make) and release myself. My journey began when I read Brene Brown's book, I thought it was Just me (but it isn't) Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. Her book on shame was transformative (she knows what she's talking about, 12 years research). 

She explains that guilt and shame are two very different things. Guilt is feeling bad because you've done something perceived as bad. Shame is feeling that you are bad. Which do you feel most, and why? 

I've often read stories by women who had no knowledge or regard for purity, for keeping love unawakened. When they were older and felt the conviction of the path of purity, they felt it was too late. These stories usually end in them realizing they could have a beautiful marriage, and renew their hearts and minds, even though they made mistakes. 

What of us who had hardly a chance to remain physically pure? What of us who had our love awakened with complete unawareness? Are we impure? 

It pains me to think anyone would think so!! 

It doesn't matter how physically pure you are, if your spirit, your soul, your self is pure. And I believe that each of you young ladies reading this blog have a purity and innocence within that no one can take away. 

Don't let your mistakes or what others have done to you shut you down. You are beautiful and powerful beyond comprehension! Use the power of rebirth to transform yourself. Kill those unhealthy ways of thinking (this is where feelings start), kill your guilt, shame, regret. Set them on fire. From the ashes, recreate something magnificently moving. You can do it. 

For you literal folks- get a sheet of paper, write everything you think and feel that's holding you back from embracing your purity, and safely burn it. Or flush it down the toilet. After ripping it into as many pieces as possible!!! :)

You may shed tears. It will hurt. It's scary. But who you are  is oh so much more powerful than your circumstances and feelings!! 

with love <3

Katherine is a teenage entrepreneur, rebelutionary, & photographer. Refining her life with authenticity & inspiration, she writes Observations on Becoming. She lives in Pennsylvania with her role model parents, genius brother, & divinely demented dogs. Some of her favored entertainments & aspirations are learning Spanish & Hebrew, loving on the piano, psychological astrology, foreign accents, connecting with beautiful souls, salsa & belly dancing, & writing. She's passionate about personifying the power of the Phoenix. 

Healthy Relationship Habbits

Each post seems to be more and more don'ts and less do's so here goes a couple of do's! What are some healthy habits to start now that will lead to a healthy relationships later on. These are just somethings that i have personally experienced in my life! Hope you find them helpful!

1) Breaking up is not an option- I see so many couples who threaten to break up with each other if the other one doesn't do something. This is NOT HEALTHY! What does breakups lead to? Divorce. It is simply practice for divorce. Now of course, if you do not need to be with the guy then by all means break up with him, but do not just use it as regular conversation. Matt and I noticed the other day how even when we disagree on something we have never once threatened to break up with each other. This is a healthy habit. This way once you get married it will not be a common statement.

2) Do not point out other guys. I did not realize how often i did this until Matt pointed it out that he didn't appreciate it much. We as girls so often flippantly make comments about other guys, whether it be good or bad. We may say, "Ohhhh he is cute" Or "Look at him... He is....". This is demeaning to your man! Whether you have one at this point or not it is a good idea to go ahead and begin breaking this habit now. I wish i had! Would you want your special man to be pointing out other girls? I know i wouldn't! So why should we point out other guys?

3)Put God first... We say it all the time, but how often do we actually do it? Spend time with God. Make a point of it. Do you think about guys or God more? I have begun making a conscience effort to talk about God as much as Matt. To talk to God as much as Matt (That's hard with txting!). Go to God with your problems just as easily as you do your boyfriend. It takes a special effort.... it is worth it though!

JEN

You are what you eat... You are what you see!

You often hear the saying, “You are what you eat”. I believe this is also true of you are what you watch. There are so many movies now that have raunchy sex scenes in them and nothing is even thought about it. We are called as Christians to stand out against the world. I will be honest that I am not that careful about the movies I watch. I am more against the violence and cursing, but just as much as that we need to be aware of the sex scenes or even sexual jokes. I was informed the other day that the way our mind registers what we see is as if we are experiencing it our self. I forget the technical terms for it, but the point is that we enjoy watching stuff like that because it makes us feel good. Is this a good thing? Personally I find it hard to watch a hot sex scene and feel as if there is no hint of sexual impurity in it. So this may be a short post, but I want to challenge you to be careful what you watch! You may have saved everything for your future husband, but if you are watching inappropriate things then in reality you are not saving everything. It is just a thought!

JEN