Purity Modesty and The Male Mind
I was 7 the first time I was exposed to a dirty magazine. My friend’s dad had a stash in his basement he thought no one knew about. He was wrong.
On average first time exposure happens at age 11; we’re talking 5th and 6th graders here. Now why am I bringing this up in the middle of a series on modesty and purity? Because I want to give you all a true male’s perspective. Yes, a male who has been saved by Christ alone, but a visceral desire-oriented male nonetheless.
We fight an uphill battle, I fight an uphill battle; constantly pulled between what I know is right and what I fool myself into accepting as good. Even at a young age, both boys and girls are shown what is contrary to Christian morality and, as I think, true Christian beauty. Men are at a disadvantage in some respects because of the apathetic approach to correcting their distorted views. It’s hard to correct something everyone struggles with. Our sin of lust is far more than simply looking at what we shouldn’t, it creeps into the very pours of our desires and warps our ability to experience the ‘new life’ God promises.
But here, ladies, is where you enter.
Why bother being modest? Because, and please believe me when I say this, it stands in such stark contrast to everything else we see. Purity is not some ethereal concept we pursue, it’s real – as real as what we choose to wear, as real as what we choose to let our thoughts drift towards and as real as what our source appears to be.
For women it’s worth and for men it’s joy.
This is the answer to being pure.
Remember Matthew 5:8. What does this “they will see God” mean? In short (if I don’t cut myself off sometime we could be here a really long time), usually women struggling with this issue need to reevaluate where they believe their worth comes from. That will show you where your investments are going: investments of time, of thought, of money, of emotion. If you see your worth in Christ, if you understand your beauty as being directly tied to who you are in him – then aren’t you going to see God more clearly? And isn’t purity going to be a natural side-effect of you seeing things as they truly are, namely yourself?
For the guys reading, and I am taking idea this straight from Piper and Driscoll, you have to be on guard to see where your joy comes from. Too often we settle and stop short of the immense pleasure we could experience in God. You have to become dissatisfied with anything less than the extraordinary – only then can you desire the joy found in Christ alone – and then you will see God because your desire is pure.
I guess when it comes down to it, you can measure a person’s purity by asking how valuable Christ is to them. Is He the source of your worth, of your joy? If not, than what reason is there to chase after purity? It seems like a lot of work for very little reward, if that reward is anything outside of Christ.
But it is worth it. And ladies, guys do notice – more than you could ever know.
Immodesty may grab our attention, but purity will win our affection.