Friday, April 16, 2010

Where did our fairy tale dreams go??

Right down the drain just to be honest… I keep three year olds a couple times a week and it amazes me to see how big of an imagination they have and how easily they play Prince and Princess. Then within a couple of years (soon after puberty) they will barely even be able to remember their dreams. They will seem impossible and unrealistic. Why is that? It is because in our world women are taught that guys are jerks. They do not know how to respect or love us and that if we want anything in life we have to get it all on our own and in our own power. Is that the way God created it though? I do not believe it is at all… We’ve discussed this some, but what are the roles of the man and woman in the relationship? The man is to love his wife as God loved the church and the woman is to her husband. If we each did these things do you think life would be more like a fairy tell? I believe it would! Life can never be perfect, yet if we lived our lives the way God planned on us doing it would be a whole lot closer to a true fairy tale.

Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

So, what can we do about it? Can we push guys to show true love? What can we do? The truth is we can not change others… we can only change ourselves and the way we treat others. Bummer huh? I think we often miss the fact that if we were to treat guys with respect they might actually do the same thing to us! I remember watching a movie a while back and in the movie a dad didn’t respect his son at all. The son treated his dad the same way though. When someone confronted the son about it he wanted to blame his dad, but the person told him, “How can you judge your dad by his actions yet judge yourself by your intentions?” . The same goes for the way we treat guys… I do totally believe that there are guys that are “jerks”, “players”, or whatever you want to call them, yet I also believe that they are many good guys that we degrade when we classify all guys as bad. Does that make sense? With all that said, what can WE (You and I as girls!) do to change it? We’ve all heard the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”. If we begin treating guys with respect I promise you they would begin doing the same to us… Do you know how our world would turn upside down if that actually began happening?? Of course not every guy will, but the ones who are worth having around will! It kills me how often women want to throw up the fact that their husbands are to love them as God loves the church, yet then they do not submit to their husbands, which is just as much God’s will as for the husband to love his wife! Before I go on though I want to give you some examples of what I mean… We’ve already discussed belittling guys by calling them names, but also just talking about them behind there back. It hurts them just as much as it hurts us to have someone talking about us behind our back. Making low remarks or degrading their attempts to be sweet. Even if it seems to be a sorry attempt, at least they are trying. Also in the clothes you wear… If you do not want a guy to look at you in a lustful way then please do not advertise yourself in such a way to make him want to! I realize that guys are guys and they are going to be drawn to women, but if you could realize how much easier it would be for a guy to respect you and treat you with honor if you dressed different I believe you would be getting rid of any clothes you own that might cause them to stumble. I feel like I’m rambling… but this is something that really means a lot to me. If we cant respect our guy friends or bf at this point then what on earth makes us think that all of the sudden we will be great at it once we get married?

With all that said I want to add one more thing… If the guys in your life are not worth respecting… please for your sake move on and find other guys. If the guys you hang around whether it be just friends or actual boyfriends curse around you often, hit you, or often push you to be physical it is about time to start looking for new friends! It wont be easy, but if you care to ever get back the fairy tale dream you use to have it is a must to get rid of those guys.

I love you girls and I want you to have the Fairy tale that you always dreamed of! :)


Katherine said...

Thanks Jen! Another great post! I am going to be recommending your blog on a post i am doing tonight.


Love Unawakened said...

Thanks! I will make sure to read it! :)

Ashley said...

What a wonderful post!!! You have such a gift in this area. (and many others I am sure) It's so true, if your boyfriend doesn't love you truly and respect you know when he s on his "best behavior" he will most certainly not respect and love you truly when you are married several years down the road.
And also, if a guy does not respect you chances are he is only in it for himself and his own desires, because if he understood how precious you are for saving sex for your honeymoon, or preparing to be a wife, he would most assuredly respect you.
Thanks soo much, you are such an awesome encouragement to me.

I just posted on my blog and I wanted to know what you thought of it.

I have a question; how do you feel about a very mature girl (16) that her whole focus in her future is to please God and be a wife and mother. She keeps her heart in check and never once fell in love with another guy and then she meets this guy, Very good christian guy and she knows she is going to marry him and vise versa. What do you think about it? Is it alright to know it?

Love Unawakened said...

Ashley- Thanks so much for the comments! They made my day! :) Anywho... Im not totally sure i understand your question... Am i right that you were asking what we thought about a mature 16 year old dating a great guy who she feels is the man she will marry?

If so... Then i see nothing wrong with it! i checked out your blog bc everyone in some way thinks they are wise and mature, but i agree with you that you are! My one peice of advide is to talk to your parents about it though... Love is blinding sometimes, but your parents know you (better than i do!) and Im sure they also know the guy. Also, you may want to ask the question, "Would i be able to serve God better now in a relationship or single?". I ask myself that often... Im sure one day I will get married, but now I havent found a guy that makes that question a yes. If he is the right guy he will still be around if you decide to wait! No doubt about it! ;)

By the way.... I admire your love for the Lord and passion to please Him! Keep it up girl! :)


beka said...

Amen! What a good post. We cannot change others....that part's been what my sister and I have been learning lately.

p.s. Thanks for visiting my blog:) It was lovely to hear from you.

Madison said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog! I'm glad you like it! Your blog is simply amazing! Purity is something that so many girls today struggle with, and it is often because of their peers, and the wrong young men they hang out with.

Thank you so much, for encouraging us!

This post is truly inspiring!