Sweet ladies, I will be honest... This is a hard post to write. I fear letting you down and disappointment, but at the same time honestly I know before God I have made no mistake. You most likely all know my standard of not kissing. I have held fast and strong to this. No man has even gotten close before. After being engaged Matt and I began discussing the possibility of kissing. It had never really crossed my mind. I began weighing out the pros and cons. It took me months of debating and praying. I sought the Lord. Honestly, I was very torn over it. One night he and i sat down and after we had both been praying we discussed the pros and cons. Just for your curiosity sake I'll list them out for you!
~Letting people down
~Not sure past that what my standards were
~We could have the intimate moment to ourselves and not in front of everyone
~Wouldn't be so many first to get use to on our wedding night
~We have a longgggggg engagement
~It would be fun
~My parents were for it (Yes they were the first ones to know!)
~We did not believe it was sin
Yes, i felt like crying the whole time (Romantic eh?lol). This was a big deal to me.... I will spare you all the icky details, but bottom line is we chose together that it was OK to kiss. I was very nervous and he was excited! We did and i do not regret it. Come to find out I was his first kiss also. We would have been OK kissing for the first time at the alter, but i am glad we will not be. Frankly, kissing is awkward at first. Especially if neither of you have before. I cant imagine what it would be like waiting until my wedding day to kiss. We would be spending most of the night trying to figure that out. Also we have a long engagement and it makes the wait a little easier. Finally, just honestly before the Lord I had a peace about it. He knew our hearts. Do i believe i broke a promise? No, not really. Yes in a way, but the point of the promise was to wait for the man i would marry and love. I did that. I never even let another guy get close. I see that as an accomplishment. who can say that? It was so beautiful ladies... I do not regret waiting or giving in. God had an amazing plan and I'm so thankful for it!
I will be discussing this more in post to come, but i just wanted to share with you girls and update you! I felt hypocritical leaving you to think we have not kissed. It is beautiful and such a gift from the Lord.