Wednesday, January 2, 2013

My First Kiss

Sweet ladies, I will be honest... This is a hard post to write. I fear letting you down and disappointment, but at the same time honestly I know before God I have made no mistake. You most likely all know my standard of not kissing. I have held fast and strong to this. No man has even gotten close before. After being engaged Matt and I began discussing the possibility of kissing. It had never really crossed my mind. I began weighing out the pros and cons. It took me months of debating and praying. I sought the Lord. Honestly, I was very torn over it. One night he and i sat down and after we had both been praying we discussed the pros and cons. Just for your curiosity sake I'll list them out for you!

~Breaking standard
~Letting people down
~Not sure past that what my standards were

~We could have the intimate moment to ourselves and not in front of everyone
~Wouldn't be so many first to get use to on our wedding night
~We have a longgggggg engagement
~It would be fun
~My parents were for it (Yes they were the first ones to know!)
~We did not believe it was sin

Yes, i felt like crying the whole time (Romantic eh?lol). This was a big deal to me.... I will spare you all the icky details, but bottom line is we chose together that it was OK to kiss. I was very nervous and he was excited! We did and i do not regret it. Come to find out I was his first kiss also. We would have been OK kissing for the first time at the alter, but i am glad we will not be. Frankly, kissing is awkward at first. Especially if neither of you have before. I cant imagine what it would be like waiting until my wedding day to kiss. We would be spending most of the night trying to figure that out. Also we have a long engagement and it makes the wait a little easier. Finally, just honestly before the Lord I had a peace about it. He knew our hearts. Do i believe i broke a promise? No, not really. Yes in a way, but the point of the promise was to wait for the man i would marry and love. I did that. I never even let another guy get close. I see that as an accomplishment. who can say that? It was so beautiful ladies... I do not regret waiting or giving in. God had an amazing plan and I'm so thankful for it!

I will be discussing this more in post to come, but i just wanted to share with you girls and update you! I felt hypocritical leaving you to think we have not kissed. It is beautiful and such a gift from the Lord.



Sierra said...

I am not disappointing in the least! I think that what y'all did was a big change, but one that you felt was right and felt at peace about that. You have really been an inspiration to me and this post was no different! I don't know where I will stand if I get to a place like that, but for now I'll just wait and say it'll be at the altar. And that is such a sweet story too :) I really hope that it's my future hubbie's first kiss too. Sierra
Keep growing beautiful!

Chantal Meade said...

I don't feel disappointed in you at all. Thanks for even sharing this with us. I can see you value purity and God honors that :-)

lissie said...

Yeah, thanks for sharing. I often thought it would be pretty awkward of your first kiss was in front of everyone (by your I mean generally, anybodies, not you specifically :) )

Sarah Elizabeth said...

I'm so excited for you and your love, Jen! And I'm really happy that you decided to boldy and bravely share your story about your decision to kiss your man on your blog too! <3

Callie Nicole said...

I think it's perfectly fine to kiss your fiancé - you're right, you met the goal of waiting for the man you are going to marry! My husband and I made a similar decision to kiss each other before we were married, and I'm glad we did - it really solidified things in my mind, and it was special to have that first kiss all to ourselves. :-)