Saturday, May 8, 2010

Sex... Good or bad?

So for the past few weeks I've felt like I haven't put my whole heart into this blog and for that I am TRULY sorry. I want you girls to know that eventhough I do not know each one of you who reads this personally I do care about you. You have no idea the times that I think of things to share with you, verses to encourage you, songs that you can relate to, and just try to come up with a way to share my heart with you. It is a constant part of my life... So with that said I want you to know that this post is one of the main things that has been on my heart lately and I would do absolutely anything for you to get this...

Often we say, "Don’t do this", "That’s not honoring to God", "You better not even be thinking about that!", yet we miss how truly amazing sex was made to be. Our culture has numbed sex down to something that you can do with anyone, at any time, with no strings attached. Is that really the way it is suppose to be though? Not at all... At least not with the mindset that God had when He created it. As I was thinking about this post and what I wanted to say I kept thinking to myself, "I cant possibly describe the amazing ness of sex and God's wonderful plan....". So I started praying that God would give me the words to say... We shall wait and see what happens... I want SO bad for you girls to get this...

First off I want to share with you that sex isn’t bad and in the right time and place sex is not a sinful thing... actually to withhold sex from your partner is sin (1 Corinthians 7:5). In the church sex is often a hush hush subject. What did God think though? Right the opposite… He didn’t hold back at all in His word when talking about sex. Just to be totally honest with you… I’m brought to tears every time I think about God’s wonderful idea (sex) and how hopefully one day I will be able to experience it. I totally understand that there are many girls who have a warped view of sexual intimacy simply because someone did things to them that they should have never done. I remember once writing in a diary how I didn’t want to ever have sex…. I viewed the whole idea as hurtful, shame, guilt, and anything but pleasurable. I’ve had many girls tell me that exact same thing also. You may know what I’m talking about… Is this God’s plan for sex though? NO! Just to make sure you got what I said… I said, “NO!!!!”! This is not His plan at all.

Now, I’ve said a couple of things that God’s plan isn’t. Lets discuss the good side- what God’s plan is! First off it is for you to fall in love with Him… and once that happens for you to find the man of your dreams! If you are in love with God and your desires are the same as His desires then the perfect man that He has will also be the one you want (Psalm 37:4). Isn’t it amazing how those things work out?! ;) For so long I didnt understand that. I thought the falling in love with God part was a drag and that I was gonna have to marry some geek who had no common sense, just studied God's word. I had such a messed up idea though.Girls, over the past year God has completely become the love of my life... I'm 100% satsified with not having a boyfriend. Of course I would like to have one, but Im willing to wait. Are you to that point in your life? People ask me why I do not date. They wonder if im against it or what, but the truth is I just havent met the right guy and Im willing to wait until I find him. I;m enjoying spending my time getting closer to God and improving my life so that I will one day be a better wife! On with my post though... :) Then for two to become one is God’s plan…. Maybe I’m just weird, but this is when I start getting chill bumps. We so often talk about not doing this or that bc of how hard it will be once you get married, but lets look at it from the positive side, for those of you who have waited and have worked so hard to save your heart. You will have nothing at all to hide…nothing to be afraid of… no regrets… Isn’t that an amazing thought? I’m not sure about you, but that makes me all the more determined to wait! I remember a woman that I look up to telling me, “Focus on the man at the end of the aisle!”. You may have no idea what so ever who he is, but that’s ok. His face can be blurry. The principal still stands though, you will want to know without a doubt as you walk down that aisle that you are giving him every last bit of yourself. No one else has any part of you that belongs to him! Then that night as you enter into your marriage you will not have to fight off past memories, regrets, flashbacks or anything like that.

Want to know one thing that just fascinates me? If you keep reading you will have no choice! ;) It is how soothing a woman’s breast can be. Again, this is where the church has become so hush hush about this, but im just going to be real with you. Song of Solomon discusses this. (Song of Solomon 7:7-8 Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit. May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples.) Have you ever noticed how if a child falls or is scared a woman can pick the child up and hold them near to herself and everything seems to go away? I imagine it is the same way for a man. Of course, not exactly, but please try to follow me. A woman’s breast brings comfort… this is the way God made it to be girls! Our world has made it to where the only time a woman’s breast is mentioned is when it is the blunt end of a disgusting joke or prank. That’s not the way God planned it though… Do you see the difference?! I hope so…

Another thing that I find amazing is how a guy is made to pursue the girl! Our culture says that women are as good at anything if not better than guys. Does that mean we have to though or that it is right too? Not at all... Have you ever thought about having a guy truly fall madly in love with you? To have him be willing to do anything for you? Of course! Doesn't every girl?! Girls now are the ones who ask guys out, make the first move, pursue them and then we wonder where the romance went. I also associate this with while having sex the man is normally on top. Not always, but most of the time. Do you get my point girls? Let God's plan work out the way He planned it and it will fulfill everyone of your God given desires! It may just be me, but I think it is beautiful the way God designed men to be the pursuers!

Finally, I want to say one more thing. We have mentioned a couple of times about writing your future husbands. I’ve heard many girls say they think it’s corny and that is perfectly fine if you do. I myself do not think it is. It is a wonderful way to, “focus on the guy at the end of the aisle” as I mentioned earlier! Share your heart… For those of you who have had feelings awakened that you wish were not, whether it be by choice or your innocence was taken from you. This is a great way to take those thoughts captive and focus them on where they should be. For you girls who have been abused, hurt, crushed, I challenge you to seek the face of God… PRAY and ask Him to show you Himself… His plan… and His will. It may seem impossible, but I promise you it isn’t. He wants to revel Himself to you. You have to let Him though. Are you willing to? I honestly think being willing to let go of the pain is often the hardest part… I pray earnestly for you girls that are at that point…

I love each and every one of you girls! As your sister in Christ I want you to view sex in the way that God wants you to…

With loving care,



Cassie said...

Wow. I had never heard a lot of this before. I appreciate your openness, and that you shared this!

I had read 1 Corinthians before, but never noticed 5:7 before.

Thank you for this encouragement! I'm never experienced any of this, but, after reading this, I realized the way I viewed some of these issues had been tainted by the world.

Thank you again!

Love in Christ,

Katherine said...

I continue to be amazed by the way you write things- is it just me, or you're getting your point across in a godly way? ;) Thanks for being bold enough to write about this- you are SO SO SO right, and I agree with you. This part- I totally understand that there are many girls who have a warped view of sexual intimacy simply because someone did things to them that they should have never done. - especially touched me, because I can relate to that, but never realized it. Now I realize that I have another area of my life to work on. :D Thank thank thank you,

Blessings and praise G-D,

p.s- do you think one of you girls could someday write a post to encourage girls you have made mistakes in their lives concerning purity?

Love Unawakened said...

I'm SO glad that God used this post! :)

Cassie- Im glad God showed you some things in your life! I love when He does that... :) Im praying specifically as you begin to work on these things!

Katherine- You are always so supportive... thank you! :) Im glad that you got something out of this post also. We will definitely work on it! Ive tried to place a few things about it in each post, but that sounds like a great post to write and something that is very needed! :) Thanks again! Im praying for you specifically also!

Katherine said...

Than you SO much! I am also praying for you girls. Thank you for your comment on my blog- I recently recieved the Beautiful Blogger award, and awarded it to this blog! you can check that out here-


Milli said...

Wow. I love the way you write. Thank you for this post:] And thanks for commenting on my blog.

Meggie said...

Thats really great, Jen. Thanks, my feelings sometimes run away with me, and I am a natruel flirt, I have recently be re-reading 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' to help keep myself for that man.
I am not sure about breats being a comfort for men though, it seems a little weird. But, I guess I will find out when I am married! :)

A HopeFul Romantic said...

Thank you for that Jen! Sometimes, we need blunt to get the point across, you know? =D
I agree with everything you me, a girl being the one to start a relationship is just...icky.

Also, writing to my future hubby keeps me pure...the very thought of having to tell him "Darling..I did something I regret" kills me!
I couldn't stand having to do that! It would break my heart, and his! =(

But I loved this post, and agree with 100%.

= )

BK said...

Hum I have the feeling that was hard to write... But it is funny because this JUST came up the other day, on Worldmagblog!

I wonder if God is trying to tell me something...

Thanks for the comment on my blog, it was encouraging!

Love Unawakened said...

Milli- Thanks!

Meggie- I totally understand that it seems wierd and I may be totally wrong. It is just the way i see it! Thanks for commenting! :)

Hopeful Romantic- Amen! We can beat around the bush, but thats not my style! ;) Thanks for the support!

BK- Thanks so much! It wasnt the easiest post I ever done....Thats for sure! :) I will definitely check that post out! Thanks for commenting!