“A marriage where either partner does not respect the other, cannot be agreeable.”
-Jane Bennett, Pride and Prejudice.
Love and Respect. My parents were once in a small group that covered these exact topics. The basic premise of this study was that love is key to girls and respect is key to guys. Anyways, a while back Jen and I were talking (or texting rather) and I was saying how usually when a girl likes a guy, or sometimes even starts dating him, it’s solely on the basis of if she likes him. But, (speaking hypotheticallly here) you need to be asking yourself, even before you begin dating a guy, if you can respect him. Ask yourself if you can respect who he is, what he says, what his opinions are, the choices he makes, etc. And if you can’t well…chances are that no matter how cute he is, it’s just not gonna work out.
My mom showed two of my sisters and me one of her favorite films the other night: “The Way We Were” with Robert Redford (oh.my.gosh) and Barbara Streisand. I don’t want to give the plot away but I kind of have to in order to make my point. It’s about this girl and guy who met in college. He was a really good athlete who was popular and had all the girls after him. She was a geek who was a BIG political activist on their campus. Through a series of events, they fell in love and got married, despite all the warning signs and breakups. (and I must confess that I quite liked the whole geeky-girl-gets-the-hunking-guy thing...struck home lol) There are several points in their relationship where it nearly crumbled. Then, over time, they ended up getting a divorce. And I bawled. But the thing was, it wasn’t like a huge argument split them up. It was a mutual loss of repsect over the course of their relationship. And I was just like, wow, how sobering is that? Cause, Robert Redford is REALLY REALLY good-looking, and sometimes we’re tempted to think that physical attracton alone would be enough to get a marriage through the rough spots. But it’s not.
Love and Respect. A girl probably won’t stay with a guy if she doesn’t feel loved. And a guy probably won’t stay with a girl if she can’t respect him. But the tough part is, it’s not as natural for a girl to show respect as it is for her to show love. And so it seems a hopeless business. But that is where God steps in if we ask and helps us in our inefficiences. I want to be with a guy who will love me and whom I can respect. But, I am sorry to say, respect does not always come easily to me. So I’m starting now to ask God to help me choose wisely and end up with a guy that I can and will respect. Who’s with me?