Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Breaking News: Parents are Wise

Well I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't surprised to find out that several of my friends dated behind their parents back, and/or wanted their parents to just "mind their own business" when it came to dating. But that was back in middle school, and I'm not so naive to believe that everyone talks to their parents about dating now. Which is why I'm going to address it today. I'd really like to just point out why it's so important to include your parents in dating decisions. What I'm not going to do today is tell you that your parents have to be your best friends, and that you have to gush every little detail of your dates with them.

First off, I'd like to share my personal commitment to my parents with you. Obviously I'm commited to purity (why else would I be co-authoring this blog?), but there is a little more to it than that. I made a purity pledge back in middle school after going through the True Love Waits program at our church. When I did, I commited to God and my parents that I would remain pure until marriage, AND that I would not agree date any guy without God and my parents approval first. So now that I have bored you with the facts of my life, let's get started with my actual post. :D

Okay, so the first reason to include your parents in dating decisions is: They're older and wiser. Yeah, yeah. Seems so predictable right? You've been told a thousand times to listen to your parents, they know what they are talking about. Guess what? IT'S TRUE! Your parents have seen more of the world than you. They can tell if a guy is going to treat you with respect, where as you may be blinded by your crush (amazing how you can see people for who they really are AFTER you've gotten over a crush). Your parents will be able to help you decide whether a guy is really worth your time or if you should keep waiting.

Reason number two: Accountability. Knowing your parents are involved will add a level of accountability to you in the area of purity. If you keep your parents involved, you'll be able to say no, not only for the reason of it won't please God, it won't please your parents. It's hard to explain why, but it just does.

Reason number three: stronger relationship between you and your parents. Yeah, sounds kinda weird, and you're probably thinking "wouldn't it just be awkward to talk about this with my parents?" Well honestly, yeah it is at first. But as you start to talk, you understand where they are coming from better. You start to get why they make the rules they do, and they'll be able to understand you too! If there is one thing I've learned in life, you can't expect people to read your mind and immediately know what's going on when you walk into a room. You have to put forth effort. And believe me, when you can talk to your parents and say, "hey I'd really like to go to the movies with this guy?" and hear their response without saying "you just don't understand!" it's totally worth it.

And now, the big question, "how do I start this?" Well there is no three point plan to talking with your parents about this, but the best way to start is by starting. Just go up to them one day and maybe ask them, "what do you think of my boyfriend?" or "how would you feel about so and so?" Like I said, it will be awkward at first, but with time it gets easier. And once you start, don't stop. You may want to talk to them about being involved in your relationships. You can ask them to hold you accountable. You don't have to give them every detail, but keep them updated. Let them know what's going on. I will tell you one thing, and you can ask my friends. A lot of times when we talk about boyfriend issues I'll ask them "have you talked to your parents?" or I'll say "you should really talk to your mom about this. She can give you better advice than I can." And I'm not kidding, if I were talking to you, I'd tell you the same. Well I hope this has encouraged you today. Seriously pray about it, and talk to your parents.

Love, Kat

1 comment:

Love Unawakened said...

I second Kat on this! I've been on both sides... and trust me, it is SOOOO much better talking to your parents! You do not have to hide so much and feel as if they do not understand. If you and your bf breakup or something and they know about it then most likely they will be more sympathetic!