Monday, January 11, 2010

Kat's Story!

Hey everybody. My name’s Kat G. I go to Gardendale First with the other Kat and I decided to ask her if I could share my experience on here. I don’t think it’s a story like any other that has been posted, but it’s definitely something every girl should read about because it’s not that uncommon these days. A little bit of background on the story: I met David when he first started the ninth grade and I was in tenth. He was the most charming guy I had ever met and I was certain that he could get any girl he wanted if he tried hard enough. We were friends at school, but never talked much other then that. Last July I got a text message from him out of the blue asking if we could go out on a date the next day. I was single then and even though I had heard some things about him (he had a reputation for being a cheater) I figured, what the heck it’s just one date, and agreed. But what I hadn’t planned on was him telling me that since he first met me he’d had a crush on me. And that he felt like he was falling in love with me every time he was near me. I bought into everything he was telling me. He kissed me on our first date and I didn’t stop him, which is very unlike me. I felt like I was in a fairy tale and I would have done anything to make that day last. After that we were apart for around two weeks but I was so head over heels for him and everything that he was telling me, that I told him I was in love with him too. We were officially ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ by that point and I couldn’t have been happier. A week or so after that, I got a message on Myspace from a girl from school that I didn’t really know but that I recognized as one of David’s ex-girlfriends. Or so I thought. I opened it up and it seemed like a friendly message. She was just asking who I was dating because she saw that I changed my relationship status. I happily replied thinking she just wanted to chat. But her next message wasn’t so friendly…she informed me that she had been dating David since January and he had only broken up with her a few days before. I realized that this meant I had started dating him when he was with someone else. I had never asked him if he was with anyone else, but I didn’t think I would have to! I was so embarrassed. I apologized to the girl and explained that I had no idea what was going on. I called David immediately and confronted him about it. This was the beginning of a vicious cycle…A cycle that involved me catching him doing something that hurt me and him either lying his way out of it or turning it around to be my fault. I won’t go through every time that I caught him talking to another girl, or a time when he lied to my face and I knew it but did nothing about it. I know this sounds crazy, but he has this strange hold on people. Go listen to Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood I think she might have dated him too. Ha.Anyway, here’s where the story gets even worse. On October 2nd, the opening night of Tom Sawyer, a play I was in charge of at school, we came to my house for a few minutes to pick up some things I needed for the show. We had been at my house alone together before and until then he had never tried anything. We sat down to talk for a few minutes and next thing I knew he was kissing me. It wasn’t too big of a deal, we had kissed several times before. But this time it was different…there was something more in his kiss. I’m not going to go into details, but he used those classic phrases like “You know I love you and want to be with you forever,” and “You can show me you love me if you do this.” I always said those wouldn’t work on me. But they did. I gave him a piece of me that I can never get back. We were pretty stupid and didn’t use protection. How he convinced me to do that I’m not completely sure…after it happened we pretty much went back to normal. Everything was fine and I was even more sure that we would always be together. One week later I found out he was cheating on me again. The next day he broke up with me for another girl. I had already told him at this point that I was late.. But obviously that didn’t phase him any. That week was homecoming week at our school, and while most seniors say it’s the best time during the whole year, it was my worst. I spent every day wondering if it was really true, if I could really be pregnant. The worst part was…David ignored me. He wouldn’t even look my way. The next Tuesday morning I finally told my mom what had happened and the next Wednesday I went to the doctor and had it confirmed. As soon as I was back at school I went and told David what I had found out. He was waiting for me at my truck right after school. He told me that he was going to do whatever it took to make a life for me and the baby. We agreed that we could raise the baby as friends. We had everything worked out so that we could both still go to college. I felt so much better after we talked. Later that night he texted me..telling me that he changed his mind. He didn’t want to help. I immediately became upset, telling him that it was the law, he couldn’t just abandon me. I suddenly became suicidal. I texted him telling him that I just wanted to die. That no one cared about me and that I couldn’t take care of a baby alone. A few minutes later I got a call from his mother who he didn’t even live with. He had apparently told her. She immediately began cussing me out. All I could do was hand the phone to my mom. As upset as my mom was, she began defending me. I could tell from her side of the conversation that David’s mother was telling her terrible things about me. Apparently (according to David) I slept with five other guys after we broke up and the baby could belong to any of them! I found that one funny. Anyway, I’ll spare you the rest of these details. But the next day I found out that his mother had driven down from Tennessee and taken him to live with her. Without another word from him, he was gone. I was so lost, so confused. One day he’s saying that he wants to be there, the next he’s in another state??? And I was here alone, to raise a baby by myself?? I was terrified. I spent the next few months closed up. My mom took me to counseling but I was always depressed, always afraid. Then I hit this turning point a couple of weeks ago. Those of you who go to church with me know Jonathan. We used to be friends, even dated. I went to his prom. Ha.. It’s kind of personal what happened between us back then. But shortly after we quit talking he left on a year long mission trip. I hadn’t talked to him since then, but the other night I had this strange feeling that I should text him. So I got his number from Brandon and sent him a text. I knew he was home from his mission trip for the holidays. I can’t exactly explain what happened next, but I can tell you that it was all God. Jonathan is exactly what I need right now. He is so on fire for God that it has helped me realize that God is who I really need right now. He is such an inspiration to me and my biggest role model. He is also the only guy that has ever been over to my house when my parents weren’t home that didn’t try anything on me. I finally realized that I had been dating boys. Immature, stupid boys. I also realized that Jonathan wasn’t like that. He is truly a man of God. Someone who is so devoted in his faith that he won’t let anything get in his way of serving God. So I guess you can see why I fell in love with him ;) It was all by accident, of course. I had told myself I would never date again. And I still get this feeling that Jonathan could do a lot better then me and maybe someday he’ll realize that and he will choose to move on. But we both pray about it regularly and we’ve discussed it. And we just feel like it’s in God’s plan for us to be together. I feel like he’s my other half. Which I know sounds kind of corny. But I believe that he’s the one God wants me to spend forever with. He loves me enough to wait for anything physical, because being four months pregnant and with him leaving again, it’s not like that’s really a good idea anyway. And I love him enough to wait until he’s finished serving God to actually be with him. So I’ve realized that this is what true love really is. And every girl deserves to find it. Only they should find it in a different way then I did. I hope all you reading this choose to hold onto your purity because once it’s gone, a whole piece of you is gone with it. Not to mention, you could always get pregnant. And trust me, as much of a blessing as a baby is, 17 is not a good age to try and provide for one. I’m going to ask for your prayers and I will pray for all of you out there who might get a chance to read all of this.God has your Prince Charming out there. You just have to be patient enough for him to reveal himself.


Giann said...

One question. Where was your dad? I feel that this blog doesn't talk about the relationship with fathers and daughters that much or at all. I do realize that not everybody has one or one that isn't a Christian. I just think we need a little more focus on that subject.

I also think this focuses on dating and not courting....

Anonymous said...

Giann, I'll make sure Kat sees this, and ask her if she'd like to respond. To be perfectly clear, I know that her relationship with her dad is a little complicated. I'll leave it at that.

And as for the relationship between fathers and daughters not being discussed, check out my last blog post. It specifically dealt with parental-teen relationships. The blog isn't exactly geared toward the relationship between fathers and daughters, although I will agree it is important. It is more geared toward purity, and keeping God at the center of relationships. But actually, I will be addressing father-daughter relationships a litle in my post tomorrow I believe. be sure to check it out. :)

Thank you for your comments! I'll be sure to pass it along to Kat!

kittykat1792 said...

I didn't bring up my dad in my story, because honestly he has chosen to remain a very small part of my life. I tried to sum up my story in as few words as possible so that it was easier to read but if someone had a question they could ask.

My dad is a Christian. He's actually a pastor. But when he was married to my mother, he was verbally abusive. After they got divorced we would go see him every other weekend and it ended up where he was verbally abusing me as well. He would tell me I needed to lose weight, I had hideous hair, I acted too much like my mother. Just things to tear me down with no reason behind it, because believe it or not, I'm actually a really good kid. I make good grades, I go to church, I obey my parents. I just made a mistake. One mistake. That's usually how it is with teenage mothers. But after I found out I was pregnant, he supported me at first. Then it all changed. He began tearing me down again, telling me that I would make a horrible mother, I'm selfish, I can't do anything right. He ended up telling me that he didn't want anything to do with me if I wouldn't give up the baby for adoption. So I told my father good-bye and left his house. I talk to him occasionally, but it always makes me cry afterwards. He will never once ask how the baby is doing or even how I'm doing. He quit caring.
My story about David did involve dating. That's because we were dating. We were friends for a long time beforehand, but as is obvious from the story, that didn't make a difference in being able to trust him. I don't know, I think I'm trying to say, yes, I was dating David but that was where the mistakes started coming from. But I have realized that and if I had wanted to make my story a lot longer I would have also talked about the difference in courting and dating. Because even though I do call Jonathan my boyfriend now when people ask, we don't 'date'. We're committed to each other, but everything about our relationship is focused on God. Thanks for the comment :) God bless.

Giann said...

MusicLovinKat, I understand now. Thanks for letting me know!

Kat- I am so sorry for you! I will definitely be praying for you! Thank you for sharing your story!

Psalm 138:8