Tuesday, January 12, 2010

When the time is right...

Okay, so I had originally planned to build on the parental influence post from last week and talk a little more specifically about male role models (dads, grandfathers, youth pastors, etc) and how they influence your life. But as I began to write the post, the words were coming out very forced and I feel as if God is leading me in a different direction tonight. I will talk about role models another time, have no doubt about that. But tonight we're going to talk about something a little different. Tonight I'm gonna share something that happened to me recently.

For those of you who don't know, I a competitive speaker and debater. Last week I was gone Thursday-Sunday for a debate competition in Mississippi. My grandparents went with me and my mom, and they travelled around seeing the sights of the town while my mother and I were at the tournament. Well, my grandparents came one evening to watch one of my rounds, in which I was debating a boy. Not a big deal to me, I debate against boys all the time in this league, I'm used to it. Well, the point of my story. After the round had ended and my opponent, the judge, and spectators had left the room, I was still packing my things. My grandmother, as all well-meaning grandmothers do, made the comment that my opponent sure was cute, and seemed nice. "he could be your boyfriend, but he probably lives too far away," she said. I'm used to embarassing comment like that, and I merely laughed and said, "mamama please!" and moved on. But after reflection of this and other instances, other family members always asking "so do you have a boyfriend yet?" and such, I have had to learn to deal with the enemies lies whispered through these passing comments. I stand firmly resolved that there is no reason for me to become involved in a serious relationship with a boy at this time. I have no doubts about that. First of all, I haven't really met a guy that I'm seriously interested in on that level. Second, I feel that a serious relationship at such a young age can push the purity limits (even though I have them set highly) as time goes on, only making it harder to stick to my commitment. But oftentimes with passing comments like this, about "oh he'd make a cute match" open a door for the enemy to get inside my head and say, "maybe he's not the right one, but certainly 17 is old enough to have a relationship isn't it?" or "if not now, when will it be my turn?" And I know I'm not the only one who experiences this. True, these are passing thoughts, but if we let them, they can consume our minds. I just turned 17 yesterday, and I've never had a boyfriend. It could be so easy for me to say, "what is wrong with me? Why can't I just be like any other girl and get a boyfriend?" But instead I choose to remember that love will awaken when it desires. I choose to say, "God, I would rather focus on you and all you are doing in my life rather than focus on getting a boyfriend." I don't say this to bring glory to myself. Not at all. There are some days I would be anything other than this girl who is happy with what God is doing now. It is only by God's grace that I am who I am, and it is he who works through me to do great things. But I say this to show you that there is a different way to look at the situation. When the enemy tries to sneak in and plant seeds of doubt, you can come back at him and say "I know that God will awaken love, when the time is right." When will the time be right for me? I don't know, but I'm okay with leaving it in God's hands.

Love, Kat

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