Word Filled Wednessday!

Motives...

Lately at my Sunday night Bible study we've been discussing controversial topics such as tattoos, drinking, etc. And while I don't want to talk about that tonight, I do want to talk about an issue that comes up a lot when discussing these topics. That issue is our motives. Relating to the world of purity, "why am I flirting with this guy?" or maybe "why am i wearing that revealing outfit?" or even "why am i dating this guy?"

I'm a penny-pincher, I do not like to spend my money. So I am very critical when I buy things. One of the first things I ask myself is why I need something or why I am buying it. I really exam my motives to decide if it's worth my time to spend my money on it. So today I ask myself, and all of you, what if we were as critical and inquisitive of why we are doing anything that relates to guys? What if we were to ask ourselves why we are talking to the guy in a manner that could be perceived as flirtatious? What if we went a step further and asked why we felt the need to flirt? Why are we doing the things we know could potentially hurt us?

When we take a step back and examine our motives, we often find that we are doing things for all the wrongs reasons. Examining your motives can keep you from doing things you will look back on and regret later in life. Sometimes the reason you are doing something is more important than what you are doing.

Like dating a guy. I once asked a friend why she cared so much about dating and she told me that dating to her was practice for marriage. I love this friend, but at the time she said that to me, she was in and out of a lot of relationships. When she told me that, all I could think was "so you're practicing divorce?" She didn't get deep with relationships, and I'm not saying she should have. But she didn't take her relationships seriously and if she decided one day she didn't like a guy, she broke up with him. Later on in life, she really began to examine her motives. She once confided that when she was going through boy friends like that, her real motive was a need to be loved, and she was looking for that love in the wrong place. You see, when she really examined her motives, it changed her entire way of looking at a dating relationship.

So I ask you today, what are your motives? Do your motives honor God?

Love, Kat

Katelyn's Story!

And I'm going to keep that celebration going because I know how it's going to turn out. Through your faithful prayers and the generous response of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, everything he wants to do in and through me will be done. I can hardly wait to continue on my course. I don't expect to be embarrassed in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn't shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I'm Christ's messenger; dead, I'm his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can't lose. Philippians 1:19-21




Have you ever sat down and thought about everything God has done in your life?? I mean, really, everything? Yes, of course, I know I'd really never be able to get back up because to thank Him for everything HE has done would take way too long. But, the point is, we as Christians need to take pride in our testimony!! Know that whatever happened in your life is YOUR story and that could really help someone else. Several people lately have asked me what my testimony is so I figured I would share and this is defintiely going to be a very condensed version! :):)



I have the most amazing, loving, hard working, sweet and wonderful parents!! I've never been without, I've always had more than enough and it is because of my parents. I've always known who God was and been in church. I have three sisters and one brother who have also drastically helped me be who I am today.



I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior on August 6, 1995 when I was five years old. I knew that I wanted to accept Christ and I talked with my parents and then my pastor. I was accountable for my actions after that because I KNEW what was right and wrong. I got baptized soon after and have just fallen more in love with God ever since.



I've never partied. I've never drank or smoked or done drugs. I find it more fun to worship on a Friday night then go watch the latest movie, that's just me. I love Jesus and He loves me so I want to tell people that. I've never been quiet about loving Jesus while there have been times that I didn't always shout it. My parents taught by example. They didn't say not to do one thing and then do another. They don't drink, or smoke or allow anything that they assumed would hinder their relationship with the Lord. And, today, because of that, they're amazing Christians. All of my sisters and my brother are saved, too :) My youngest sister is six and she got saved this year :):):) So, see, I've got this testimony of purity in the sense that I didn't turn to the world because I simply didn't have to. A lot of people don't grow up in loving homes or have great friends, so they do turn to the world. And, that is their testimony.



For the longest time, I think my only regret is not realizing how powerful my testimony was to ME and to others as well. Now, I get to talk to middle school girls and tell them that they don't have to do anything, there is a choice. And, the more stuff that was worldly that went on at my school and even with my friends, I chose not to participate. I chose to love to Christ and not the world because the world has NOTHING for us. Absolutely nothing. So, while my friends were falling in (and out) of love in highschool with guys, I just fell in love with Christ. I knew from a very young age that Christ wouldn't leave. I try to love with everything that I have. I don't judge people if they are in the world and don't know Christ. My heart breaks for those. I want everyone to be in Heaven at the end, I don't want anyone to perish for the worst.



My point of all this is my family was my foundation. My grandparents love the Lord. They serve the Lord. They went to church even when they didn't feel like it. My parents did the same and I'm here now because of all the prayers and support and dedication :) Church has never been a chore for me. How could it be?? Church is a celebration of who Christ is and what He is doing in our lives as Christians. Church is like a party for Him!! To give Him worth and time and praise. My pastors and teachers have always been supportive. Prayer is a key to a successful life, it's talking with Jesus. So, while my testimony is unique to most in the world aspect is missing, there are still struggles that I deal with.



My testimony isn't good enough...isn't cool enough..isn't "whatever" enough... But, when those words come in my head, I remind myself that really that is me saying that Jesus isn't enough. And, He is. He has to be!! So, that's my story, a little of it anyway!! :):)

Are you willing to wait?

So, I had this long post about how you are not to be unequally yoked. I had typed it up last week during spring break and I was all excited because all I had to do was copy and paste! Then, tada! My post would have been done with no problem! God had other plans… So, I resolve to sit here and try to write out what He has been laying on my heart heavily all morning! I truly believe that we focus on girls who are dating way more than we do girls who are choosing to wait on dating. Everyone has their own opinion, but today I feel led to share with the girls who rather not date. Of course anyone can be encouraged by it, but I’m writing it with girls who are not dating in mind!


With all that said… What does our culture tell us about having a boy friend? It tells us that it is mandatory. If you do not have a bf (boy friend) then you must be hideous looking and have no personality at all. Is that true though? I beg to differ… First off, I do understand that there are some girls who have never been asked out, but I whole heartedly believe that God is preparing them for one special man and honestly, I think it is a blessing at times to have not been pursued by other guys before the right man comes along. Then there are the other girls who are strictly single by choice. We have turned guys down and will most likely continue to until we find a guy that we think is a possible husband! Is anything wrong with that? The world says it’s crazy…. The world also says, “How are you going to be “Experienced” or know how to be a good girl friend if you’ve never been in a relationship before?”. This is just my own feelings, but since I’m the one writing this post I get to share them! ;) I rather have a husband who is clumsy when it comes to relationship things because he is completely innocent than a husband who knows exactly what to say, where to move, and what to do because he is not innocent at all!!! Are you with me?? I totally understand that our honey moon may not be perfect, but we can laugh through it and appreciate the fact that we could know exactly what to do with each other, but that would only mean that we had done it with other people!



Back on the subject though… Is it ok to be single? I once got close to a girl who was gorgeous and had all the guys like her. She didn’t go from guy to guy, but she definitely didn’t get the whole, “It’s ok to be single!” deal. One day I mentioned in passing that a guy had asked me out the night before and she got all excited and was telling me congrats on the relationship and I was like, “Ummmm what? I just said he asked me out. I said nothing about that we were going out!”. She couldn’t understand it… If I had no boy friend and he had asked me out…why did I turn him down? She began to ask me what was wrong with him and all that jazz. I mean something had to have been wrong! The truth is, he was a good guy, but he just wasn’t the one for me. She still just couldn’t get that though. The world thinks that the only way to be a “true” teenager is to have a boyfriend. I’m here today to challenge you girls that it does NOT have to be that way!! If you and a guy like each other and you see him as a possible future husband then go for it! Please do not feel pressured by the world to have a boyfriend though.



Here’s the way I see it… The soul purpose of dating is to find your future spouse. So, if the guy isn’t even a possible candidate (Btw, if you do not know if he is Kat wrote a great post a while back about writing out a list for what you want in a future husband!) then why waste your time? I do believe that it is possible to guard your heart in such a way that you do not give it away while you are in a relationship, but I also know how extremely hard that is to do. Why put yourself in a place where it would be VERY easy for you to give in when you could simply avoid it by just waiting. I know it is not easy to do and I also know how lonely it can be at times…. Yet, more than that I whole heartedly believe that it is worth it! Would you rather your husband wait for you? Side note… I’m all about forgiveness and if the guy God has planned for me has made mistakes I will not mind forgiving him one bit, but just think how special I would feel if I knew he had waited on me. How even before he knew me he loved me enough to wait on me!!



Finally, here’s the deal… If you have already been saying, “No” to guys then keep it up! I know it is not easy, but with God ALL things are possible! If you have believed the lie that you have to have a boyfriend, rethink it! There is always a chance to start over! Your husband will appreciate any effort you give him! Also, just an idea… write your future husband about the guys that you turn down! I love writing sweet notes telling him how I just turned down a guy simply because I knew it wasn’t him! It helps keep your focus on the prize! =)



Running along beside you,

JEN



P.S. I want to make it clear also that there is NO reason to belittle a guy just because he isn’t the one God has for you! There are some great guys who need to know that they are great, but just aren’t the great guy for you. I encourage you to be supportive of them and encourage them to wait also!

Flirting: How far is too far?

Okay, so I will admit it. I, Kathryn Reed, have a tendency to flirt. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose, I just have a flirtatious personality. But over the years, and I have tried and tried to learn when my "personality" is coming off a little strong. After all, one of my pet peeves is girls who flirt just to get attention, so shouldn't I practice what I preach? Well, I'm in no way a master at controlling my flirting habits, but I'm trying my best. So today I'm actually hoping you will interact with me by answering the question: How far is too far? How much flirting is too much? Everyone has different ideas of how far is okay, and I'm curious to hear your responses. Do you have a flirting problem and need advice on controlling it? Please, feel free to comment! I'm all ears!

Love, Kat

If phone sex ok?

We have discussed this before, but I want to get a little more into the nit and gritty… the first controversial question is about phone sex, cyber sex, txt sex, or any other kind of sex that has to do with not being next to each other or being able to touch each other at that moment. So…. What do you think? If you were to ask me that a year or two ago I’m not sure how I would answer you. I didn’t think it was really a good idea, but still I thought it was ok. I mean it’s just talking about sex…. No physical contact or anything! Oh babe…. How wrong I was… The Webster definition of intimacy is, “something of a personal or private nature”. Intimacy bonds people. You may think that you can walk away from phone sex and not be affected. Once the person leaves whether or not you ever touched each other (I’m talking even hold hands or hug) or whether you are in a all out relationship it hurts worse than you can imagine. It will feel as if he took everything in you, yet you will think you have no reason to feel that way. You will think, “I have no reason to feel this way…..I mean he never even touched me or anything! I didn’t think I gave him anything…”. Can I answer why you feel that way? Because you did give him something…. You gave him your heart! You do not have to give him your body to give him your heart! What the world tells us is that it is so, “innocent” when it really is not innocent at all. This is real stuff here… not just something to make you feel good, but it is a form of fore play. So often we hear, “Do not have sex before marriage!” and then you hear, “Guard your heart!”, but we miss the things in between… You most likely will not have sex with someone if you do not feel comfortable talking with them about it. Girls, if you were totally honest with yourself you would know that all you want is to be loved, touched, held, and cared about. Phone sex often looks like a good solution to that. You can feel loved and cherished, but with the safety of him not touching you while he says it. Also, for girls who have been abused , raped, abandoned, or anything else horrible like that this gives you the security that it will only go as far as you want it to. Is this right though? No babe… God designed sex to be unhindered and something that you do not have to hide! I challenge you to write this verse out and post it where ever you are most tempted to think, say, or read things that are not pleasing to God. Philippians 4:8b says, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”. Is that you are saying to that guy honoring to God? If it is… PRAISE GOD! We need young women to stand up who are not afraid to talk about God! If it is not though… STOP IT! I know it will seem impossible and honestly if you decide to follow God and cut it off it will feel as if you have are a drug addict who just all of the sudden quit using drugs. It is worth every bit of it though… The freedom you will feel from it is worth it! You can not grow closer to Christ when some sin is standing in your way.




Before I end this post though… I want to give you some ideas for how to stop if you are having phone sex. Tell someone… it may be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, but it is worth it. If you do not tell someone I promise you that you are 90% most likely to fall straight back into it. Then you only feel even more defeated. Secondly, quit texting the person. I do not care how good of friend they are, if they are your bf, or whatever. You will still have a hard time into you are renewed by God’s word as seeing them as Christ views appropriate. Also, as I said earlier, post different verses around your room, above your bed, on your mirror, in your car, on your phone (I’ve even wrote out a verse on a cute note card. Taken a picture of it and then saved it as my background on my phone!). You are also going to have to get into God’s word…. Satan will use this against you. He knows where you are weak. As God’s word says, The Bible is your sword (what you can use to fight off Satan! If you do not use it then you will be at satan’s mercy.). Finally, if you txt as you fall asleep, put the phone down and turn some worship music on! For a long time I tried to pray as I fell asleep, but honestly it was hard for me to stay focused. If you have worship music in the background you can still pray, but it will also help keep your mind from wondering. It will not prevent it, but none of these ideas will prevent sin. It all comes down to how much you love God and whether or not you are willing to give up your “drug”….



Love you girls,

JEN



P.S. If you are dealing with something and need someone to talk to yet you do not know someone feel free to e-mail me! My e-mail is Jennifer.rohester@charter.net. I would be more than willing to help you out! Also, if you have a question or want us to pray for you feel free to comment anonymously!

Thought Filled Thursday!

I thought i would share a song with you girls that has been very dear to my heart lately! =)

The Desert Song Lyrics


Verse 1:

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in the hunger in me

My God is a God who provides



Verse 2:

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames



Chorus:

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon forged against me shall remain



I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here



Verse 3:

And this is my prayer in the battle

And triumph is still on it's way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand



Bridge:

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship



Verse 4:

This is my prayer in the harvest

When favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be empited again

The seed I've recieved I will sow

Word Filled Wednessday!

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. ~ Ephisians 4:29b

PDA

Before I get started today, I want to put a little warning sign on this post. WARNING: This post is bound to make people mad at me. This post may make you feel defensive about your views of purity. But I also want you to know that I'm not out to hurt your feelings, make you angry, or put you on the defense. I believe this is a very real issue that needs to be addressed, so I'm venturing into controversial territory and stating my belief. Today, we are going to be talking about Public Displays of Affection, be it in person or on the internet.

First of all, the realm of church. Okay girls, I'll admit that one of my pet peeves is boyfriends and girlfriends hanging all over each other during a church service. To be completely honest, I do not believe for one second that you are focusing on God when you are hanging all over your boyfriend during church. A while back we had a sign over our youth room doors that said "Enter with a heart of worship." When you are hugging your boyfriend, holding his hand, and flirting you do not have a heart of worship towards God. I am a teenager myself, I know full well that so many hormones are flying when you think about guys that worshipping God is the last thing on your mind. Church is a place to set your relationships aside and focus on Christ, and it breaks my heart to see so many people miss a great message from God cuz they are too busy focusing on their boyfriends.

Now on to the realm of public, not including church. Okay, I can stand hand holding and a hug or two. But it's kinda gross to see couples practically making out in front of a large crowd. When you are hanging all over your boyfriend it gives off the impression that you are all wrapped up in him and everything else falls by the wayside when he's around. Call me mean, but it's true. Now we've talked about guys not being your center focus, but when you are constantly hugging him it certainly looks like he's your ONLY focus.

And now, the internet. Another pet peeve of mine, posting a photo of you and your boyfriend kissing as your facebook profile picture, or anywhere on your profile for that matter (told you this would make you mad). Okay, to be frank, you're the only one who cares about you and your boyfriend kissing, the rest of us don't need to see that. And you just posted to the entire world, or at least everyone on your friends list, a picture of you kissing. Think about it for just a minute. When you post that on the internet, what are people going to automatically think? I'll tell you what I most often hear: "If they're posting that on the internet, how much further are they going off-screen?" Now I'm not saying that any of you go further off screen, but it can certainly give that impression to people.

Okay now that I've completely ticked you off, let me get straight to the point. I personally believe that when the Bible says "not even a hint of sexual immorality" it means not even kissing. Other people see it differently and I'm not condemning them. But if you are going to take part in PDA, please keep it minimal. Please keep it out of church, that's not the place to do it. And please, think twice before you post that picture of you and your boyfriend kissing.

Love, Kat

Weekend Chat!

Soooooo since the weekend chats have been total bummers we decided to ask a questoin and then you girls can repond! Hopefully this will work better! Here is the question... what are some things that you feel the world tells us is ok yet God's word says different? There are many! This doesnt have to just be about dating... I want some feedback! If you arent sure what the Bible says and you would like to know you can comment that also! This is just going to help me with some of my upcoming post! I want to hear what you girls face and what you have learned!

JEN

What is TRUE love?

Before I even start I have to confess that this is one of my pet peeves... When I hear girls and boys tell each other how much they "love" each other when they do not even show it...it just makes my skin crawl!!! With that said.... What is TRUE love? Do we even have an idea? Our view of "love" is sooooo warped! The sad part is we do not even realize it... What do I mean? It was once asked, "Does a fish know that it is wet?". What do you think? That is all it has ever known. It lives in water. It may have an idea that there is another way to live, but that seems impossible. We are like that! All we know is what our culture tells us. What our parents model for us also molds our mind set. Do we allow God's word to play a part in setting what we believe in? Before you quickly say, "Yes! Ofcourse!" think about it... what does the world tell us? Premarital sex is not only ok it is expected! What does God's word say? It says that there is to be not even a HINT of sexual immorality! We think (Just in general... i know everyone has differences of opinions, but just in general.) that touching, kissing, making out, phone sex, and other things are fine. I have nothing against kissing, but does it cause your mind to be pure? Does it push you towards a closer relationship with God? These are all things that you have to really ask yourself... What about how the world tells us that it is ok to lie, deceive and do whatever it takes to get whatever we want. What does God's word say? Not only does it say we are to be honest and honarable with our actions, but it also says that we are to put others above ourself. You may not actually lie to get what you want, but have we not all deceived or made up a story to make yourself sound innocent?

Girls we are consumed by the world and the only way for that to change is to be consumed by something else... What you may ask, GOD!!! In the next couple of weeks we are going to look at some raw truths from the Bible. They may seem unreal or impossible, but they are what God tells us we are to be aiming towards! Are you willing to join me in this journey?

Your sister,

JEN

Thought-Filled Thursday!

Last night we watched the full "How Great is our God" sermon at church. I've seen it several times before, but it still amazes me to watch the sermon. I decided to post quite possibly my favorite part of the sermon for you today. It's about 9 minutes long, and it's totally worth your time. Here's the link to Louie Giglio on "Laminin."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Love, Kat

Word-Filled Wednesday!

Colossians 1:17 "He is before all things, and in him all thing hold together." No matter what you're going through, good times or bad, just remember that God holds it all together.

Love, Kat

Changing Our Mindset

Okay, so to be completely honest with you girls, I've been sick and my brain is totally fried right now. So tonight's post may be really short, but I had a little something that's been on my mind and I wanted to share it with you. It's about our outlook on purity.

So many times I've heard girls ask this one seemingly harmless question: "How far is too far?" At face value, the question seems genuine and good to ask. But as I thought about it a little more I realized how warped the question is. When we ask this question, what we really mean is "how far can I go before I'm considered sexually impure?" In other words, we only want to do what we "have to" and satisfy our own desires as much as possible. Girls, this is NOT the way God wants us to look at purity.

So what is our alternate mindset? What should we ask instead of "how far is too far?" Well let's look at it this way. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says "so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." hmmmm... Just a thought, but instead of looking to please fleshly desires, what if we were to try and please God with our actions? What if we were to ask "How far can I remove myself from these fleshly desires to please God?" I think this outlook is how God wants us to look at purity. Not, how much can I please myself, but how much can I please God. And as Christians, it is our duty to honor God above all else.

-Kat

Mrs. Connie's story!!

I married at seventeen. A year and a half later, my husband wanted a divorce. Devastated, I picked up the pieces of my shattered heart and joined the United States Air Force. I had a seizure while marching from tech school at Chanute AFB. Discharged…Disoriented describes the next few years of my life, though I was convinced that I knew where I was going, and, of course, I possessed all Truth. In 1977, though tormented, I chose to have an abortion. Two months later, I met Tim in a nightclub. The moment I saw him, I knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with…July 1981, we married. July 1982, Kristina was born. I was haunted by my “choice” as I felt her body growing within me. Anguish held me in a fierce grip as I hid my secret in the darkest closet of my heart. We moved to Houston and, through circumstances too incredible to post, began attending Grace Community Church. I learned how to pray – and listen – how to hear God’s Voice and recognize His involvement in my life. I let go of all the things to which I had held so tightly…
When I set my heart on God, nothing else would satisfy. When I began to read His Word, it moved me as no other, speaking to my deepest need. At age 39, Melissa Ann was born. While in prayer one morning in 1985, I was impressed that we were to return to Alabama and live in the house and land Tim had inherited. We placed a sign in the yard; the first person who walked into our home, bought it. Verbena…
One afternoon Kristina discovered my secret. She had always called me “Preacher Mom” - stating that I didn’t understand the pressures her generation was forced to confront; she would never speak those words again. My beautiful daughter encouraged me to share my experience publicly - perhaps it would save a life… I did.
Since most of you know the rest of the story, I’ll conclude with…

I pray that you never make the mistakes I made. God forgives, but we have to live with the consequences of our decisions, and those consequences may be painful.
I pray that you pursue a FRIENDSHIP with God – that He is your first thought in the morning and your last thought at night… that He invade your dreams with His Vision for your life and, during the day, weave His Plans & Purposes into every detail of your destiny – and that you recognize His Presence at all times.
I pray that you will have a passion for His Word. There are so many things He longs to show us –

Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and wonderful things that you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

An awesome video!

We did not get around to open chat weekend... but I wanted you girls to check out this video! It is close to an hour long, but it is AMAZING!!! Like seriously... You can skip through the music and drama if you want (Although the music and drama are both great!) to make it shorter! PLEASE watch this!!! It is worth it...   http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/5244788

Broken by life, yet used by God!

What do you think of when you see this pot or vase (whatever you choose to call it!)? It seems perfect... There are no nicks, marks, holes, or rough spots of any kind. Now if I wanted to use this to hold a candle and shine light how would it work? Not so well... Although it's pretty on the outside it wouldn't do a great job of shining light.  

What about this pot though? It would show the light! This is like our lives. We are these vases. Each one of us has our own personal story and our own marks. Some have more than others. What causes these dents, holes, and rough spots? The hurt, pain, and suffering of this world. Whether you chose it or not.... It could be rape, a bad relationship, being emotionally, mentally, or physically abused, or just the consequences of mistakes that you have made such as having an abortion, premarital sex, going behind your parents back, or just not following God's will. It could just simply be feeling unloved or unwanted. All of these molds you into the person you are! So if you have been hurt and you have a good many holes through out your pot that just makes you where you can shine more light! If the lights were turned off can you imagine how beautiful that would be?! 

Now what is the light inside? God's light! If you have asked Jesus into your heart then you have His light inside of you! So often girls think that their past has to be something terrible that you hide and can never face again yet really God can use it!! He wants to! So next time satan tries to remind you of all the bad that has happened to you or you have done please (for yourself!) remind him of how God is now using you the way you are to shine HIS light!! This world tells us that we have to be perfect to be used by God, but I beg to differ... I challenge you to find one verse that says that! 

I pray that you girls see how God can use you and the person you are! 

JEN 

Thought Filled Thursday!

Random thoughts just show how creative you are~ Random guy

I just thought this was cool bc it shows that we are not just "dumb blondes"! We are created the way God wanted us and He gave us the brain we have! Im not meaning this sarcastic at all!! I think one of the ways satan creeps the lie into our heads that we are worthless is by that we are "dumb blondes". This isn't true!

Word Filled Wednessday!

Proverbs 31:30 Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who feareth the Lord shall be praised!

Advice on Trustworthy Friends...

Hey girls, so something that has been on my heart a lot lately is trustworthy friends. And I was thinking about how trustworthy friends would apply to your relationships with guys. So tonight, let's look at it for this angle. You are interested in a guy, and in your eyes, he lines up with everything on your "list" that we discussed. So he's interested in you and long story short you're considering pursuing a relationship with him when you run it by a couple of friends. They don't think it's a good idea. Or maybe they do. Either way, they have an opinion about the guy. How do you interpret that? That's what I'd like to talk about tonight.

First of all, I'm discussing this on the premise of being "blinded by love" so to speak. Not saying you're in love with the guy, but that because of your attraction to him you are not paying attention what may or may not be deal breaking flaws. So while you may say to yourself, "I'll never be like that," I highly advise you not to. It's better to have your friends there for back-up than to send yourself into a bad relationship.

Okay, so back to interpreting the illustration. How we interpret our friends' opinions depends on how trustworthy and founded in Christ they are. Now if you have a "yes friend" who tells you what you want to hear, then obviously they're gonna say "go for it" no matter what the guy is like. I don't advise you trust these friends for this kind of thing. Now they may be the sweetest person on earth, but you need someone who is gonna be honest with you even when it hurts temporarily. So when they give their opinion, I'd automatically thank them, and find another friend.

Now if you have a friend that is what I call "brutally honest"-- they are gonna tell you the truth, and sometimes it's not easy to take at all-- I would trust them. But my advice here is to prepare yourself. When you talk to this person about a guy, or anything for that matter, know that they aren't afraid to present an opinion different than yours. But I love these kinds of friends, because even when it hurts to hear the truth now, I know that they've got back and that's why they told me the truth.

Now these are two extremes, and you may feel like you're somewhere in the middle. Not a "yes friend," but not "brutally honest" either. You may feel that you can speak the truth in love fairly well. You are an amazing friend! I'd advise you girls to stick with friends like these, they always have your back as well, and they are usually sooooo uplifting!

Trustworthy friends are important, because they aren't blinded by attraction to a boy. They can look at the big picture and say, "he's okay" or "steer clear girlfriend" with a clean conscience. I know that I can count on my friends to tell me if a guy I'm interested in is not good for me, and I'm so thankful for that. I strongly encourage you girls to find some trustworthy friends who have your best interests at heart!

Love, Kat

Alan's Story!

Dating is a very serious thing that involves commitment, faith, and trust. In this post I will describe my views on dating relationships. I’m not perfect and I definitely don’t know everything. These are all just my opinions. However, God has shown me a lot about this topic through His word, Godly friends, and personal experience. I’m open for questions, comments, or anything else!


The world today has made the definition of dating “Hey lets go have fun and concentrate on each other then break up and do it all over again, and, Hey don’t date him or her cause they look bad or kiss bad…” Dating is not a game. You can’t win or lose by how many people you date or who you date. Don’t date somebody for a certain social status, or for physical pleasure, or for experience. Date someone because God put them in your life to date. Date someone because you care about them. My opinion is that you should wait for God to put the right person in your life, not search for that person on your own. Let God control your feelings.

A very good friend of mine once said “Don’t date Christians… date Christ Followers” meaning don’t date someone who just says they are a Christian; date someone who radically pursues Christ. You’re not a Christian just because you go to church. You’re not a car just because you’re in a garage. My advice is to be friends with a person for a while. Long enough to know them well and know who they serve. Then, after you know them well and know a lot about them, pray about dating them. Just don’t meet someone and ask them out before your know enough about them. This type of relationship usually doesn’t last that long.

Love is the foundation for relationships, not appearance, social status, age… But be careful and never let your love for your gf/bf come before your love for God. Think of a triangle. God is at one point, you at another, and your gf/bf at the last. If you and your gf/bf keep God first and draw closer to Him, then both of you will be drawn closer as well. And this is a fact.

1st Corinthians says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” To apply all of these 100% to the way you feel about someone would be perfect unconditional love, which only Jesus has for us. However, I feel that you only love someone when you want to love someone unconditionally, when every one of the things in these verses reminds you of your feelings for that person. So be careful and make sure this applies before you tell them that you love them. Just because you are dating this person doesn’t mean you have to say “I Love You”. Let God control your love. You will have a stronger relationship when you can feel God’s love holding you together.

I do not believe in love at first sight. That’s like saying “Wow! This food is incredible” before you taste it. When people say they fell in love with somebody by looking at them, that means they just liked their outward appearance. Don’t get me wrong, you can learn a lot about a person by watching their actions, just be careful before you say that you fell in love with them.

Be careful not to let certain things within the relationship get in the way of your walks with God. For example, physical things (even so much as hugs or holding hands), time spent talking to each other… The list is endless. The point is, if you feel that something is hindering your walk with Christ, tell your bf/gf and they need to understand.

Trust is very important in a relationship. You have to trust each other. That doesn’t mean that you should expect 100% trust right at the beginning. If you want it to be true and strong trust, it will always take time to grow that trust for each other. If your bf/gf trusts you, don’t disrespect that trust. They’re working hard to trust you and to make that trust stronger. One of the meanest things you could do is not care about his/her trust for you. Let it be an honor that he/she trusts you. Be faithful to her/him. The Bible says “if you look at a girl with lust in your eyes, you have committed adultery”. So be faithful to your girl/guy and look away when satan tempts you. Don’t lie, don’t flirt, don’t disrespect her/his trust and faithfulness to you.

Guys need to be the spiritual leaders in the relationship. Guys need to make sure that the relationship is Christ centered. However, if God tells you girls something then tell your bf in a loving way. I’m not saying that guys are better than girls. Neither one is better. My dad made a great illustration for this. Guys are $1 bills, girls are 4 quarters. We are equal we are just better at different things.

You will have fights, you will have hurtful times. But if you truly love each other, then you will always be together. Just remember to let God be the center of your lives and your relationship. Love God more than each other. Don’t give all of your heart away to a person. Make sure that your decisions are what God wants for you. Only leave your gf/bf when they have been unfaithful to you or if God tells you that they were only supposed to be in your life for a season.

Anyway, that’s what I feel about dating. Again they are just my opinions! I hope that this has helped you in some way! God is incredible! I hope that you will be blessed in your dating life. Look me up on facebook if you have any questions or comments or anything! My name is Alan Goodwin. God bless :)