If phone sex ok?

We have discussed this before, but I want to get a little more into the nit and gritty… the first controversial question is about phone sex, cyber sex, txt sex, or any other kind of sex that has to do with not being next to each other or being able to touch each other at that moment. So…. What do you think? If you were to ask me that a year or two ago I’m not sure how I would answer you. I didn’t think it was really a good idea, but still I thought it was ok. I mean it’s just talking about sex…. No physical contact or anything! Oh babe…. How wrong I was… The Webster definition of intimacy is, “something of a personal or private nature”. Intimacy bonds people. You may think that you can walk away from phone sex and not be affected. Once the person leaves whether or not you ever touched each other (I’m talking even hold hands or hug) or whether you are in a all out relationship it hurts worse than you can imagine. It will feel as if he took everything in you, yet you will think you have no reason to feel that way. You will think, “I have no reason to feel this way…..I mean he never even touched me or anything! I didn’t think I gave him anything…”. Can I answer why you feel that way? Because you did give him something…. You gave him your heart! You do not have to give him your body to give him your heart! What the world tells us is that it is so, “innocent” when it really is not innocent at all. This is real stuff here… not just something to make you feel good, but it is a form of fore play. So often we hear, “Do not have sex before marriage!” and then you hear, “Guard your heart!”, but we miss the things in between… You most likely will not have sex with someone if you do not feel comfortable talking with them about it. Girls, if you were totally honest with yourself you would know that all you want is to be loved, touched, held, and cared about. Phone sex often looks like a good solution to that. You can feel loved and cherished, but with the safety of him not touching you while he says it. Also, for girls who have been abused , raped, abandoned, or anything else horrible like that this gives you the security that it will only go as far as you want it to. Is this right though? No babe… God designed sex to be unhindered and something that you do not have to hide! I challenge you to write this verse out and post it where ever you are most tempted to think, say, or read things that are not pleasing to God. Philippians 4:8b says, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”. Is that you are saying to that guy honoring to God? If it is… PRAISE GOD! We need young women to stand up who are not afraid to talk about God! If it is not though… STOP IT! I know it will seem impossible and honestly if you decide to follow God and cut it off it will feel as if you have are a drug addict who just all of the sudden quit using drugs. It is worth every bit of it though… The freedom you will feel from it is worth it! You can not grow closer to Christ when some sin is standing in your way.




Before I end this post though… I want to give you some ideas for how to stop if you are having phone sex. Tell someone… it may be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, but it is worth it. If you do not tell someone I promise you that you are 90% most likely to fall straight back into it. Then you only feel even more defeated. Secondly, quit texting the person. I do not care how good of friend they are, if they are your bf, or whatever. You will still have a hard time into you are renewed by God’s word as seeing them as Christ views appropriate. Also, as I said earlier, post different verses around your room, above your bed, on your mirror, in your car, on your phone (I’ve even wrote out a verse on a cute note card. Taken a picture of it and then saved it as my background on my phone!). You are also going to have to get into God’s word…. Satan will use this against you. He knows where you are weak. As God’s word says, The Bible is your sword (what you can use to fight off Satan! If you do not use it then you will be at satan’s mercy.). Finally, if you txt as you fall asleep, put the phone down and turn some worship music on! For a long time I tried to pray as I fell asleep, but honestly it was hard for me to stay focused. If you have worship music in the background you can still pray, but it will also help keep your mind from wondering. It will not prevent it, but none of these ideas will prevent sin. It all comes down to how much you love God and whether or not you are willing to give up your “drug”….



Love you girls,

JEN



P.S. If you are dealing with something and need someone to talk to yet you do not know someone feel free to e-mail me! My e-mail is Jennifer.rohester@charter.net. I would be more than willing to help you out! Also, if you have a question or want us to pray for you feel free to comment anonymously!