Monday, March 1, 2010

Alan's Story!

Dating is a very serious thing that involves commitment, faith, and trust. In this post I will describe my views on dating relationships. I’m not perfect and I definitely don’t know everything. These are all just my opinions. However, God has shown me a lot about this topic through His word, Godly friends, and personal experience. I’m open for questions, comments, or anything else!

The world today has made the definition of dating “Hey lets go have fun and concentrate on each other then break up and do it all over again, and, Hey don’t date him or her cause they look bad or kiss bad…” Dating is not a game. You can’t win or lose by how many people you date or who you date. Don’t date somebody for a certain social status, or for physical pleasure, or for experience. Date someone because God put them in your life to date. Date someone because you care about them. My opinion is that you should wait for God to put the right person in your life, not search for that person on your own. Let God control your feelings.

A very good friend of mine once said “Don’t date Christians… date Christ Followers” meaning don’t date someone who just says they are a Christian; date someone who radically pursues Christ. You’re not a Christian just because you go to church. You’re not a car just because you’re in a garage. My advice is to be friends with a person for a while. Long enough to know them well and know who they serve. Then, after you know them well and know a lot about them, pray about dating them. Just don’t meet someone and ask them out before your know enough about them. This type of relationship usually doesn’t last that long.

Love is the foundation for relationships, not appearance, social status, age… But be careful and never let your love for your gf/bf come before your love for God. Think of a triangle. God is at one point, you at another, and your gf/bf at the last. If you and your gf/bf keep God first and draw closer to Him, then both of you will be drawn closer as well. And this is a fact.

1st Corinthians says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” To apply all of these 100% to the way you feel about someone would be perfect unconditional love, which only Jesus has for us. However, I feel that you only love someone when you want to love someone unconditionally, when every one of the things in these verses reminds you of your feelings for that person. So be careful and make sure this applies before you tell them that you love them. Just because you are dating this person doesn’t mean you have to say “I Love You”. Let God control your love. You will have a stronger relationship when you can feel God’s love holding you together.

I do not believe in love at first sight. That’s like saying “Wow! This food is incredible” before you taste it. When people say they fell in love with somebody by looking at them, that means they just liked their outward appearance. Don’t get me wrong, you can learn a lot about a person by watching their actions, just be careful before you say that you fell in love with them.

Be careful not to let certain things within the relationship get in the way of your walks with God. For example, physical things (even so much as hugs or holding hands), time spent talking to each other… The list is endless. The point is, if you feel that something is hindering your walk with Christ, tell your bf/gf and they need to understand.

Trust is very important in a relationship. You have to trust each other. That doesn’t mean that you should expect 100% trust right at the beginning. If you want it to be true and strong trust, it will always take time to grow that trust for each other. If your bf/gf trusts you, don’t disrespect that trust. They’re working hard to trust you and to make that trust stronger. One of the meanest things you could do is not care about his/her trust for you. Let it be an honor that he/she trusts you. Be faithful to her/him. The Bible says “if you look at a girl with lust in your eyes, you have committed adultery”. So be faithful to your girl/guy and look away when satan tempts you. Don’t lie, don’t flirt, don’t disrespect her/his trust and faithfulness to you.

Guys need to be the spiritual leaders in the relationship. Guys need to make sure that the relationship is Christ centered. However, if God tells you girls something then tell your bf in a loving way. I’m not saying that guys are better than girls. Neither one is better. My dad made a great illustration for this. Guys are $1 bills, girls are 4 quarters. We are equal we are just better at different things.

You will have fights, you will have hurtful times. But if you truly love each other, then you will always be together. Just remember to let God be the center of your lives and your relationship. Love God more than each other. Don’t give all of your heart away to a person. Make sure that your decisions are what God wants for you. Only leave your gf/bf when they have been unfaithful to you or if God tells you that they were only supposed to be in your life for a season.

Anyway, that’s what I feel about dating. Again they are just my opinions! I hope that this has helped you in some way! God is incredible! I hope that you will be blessed in your dating life. Look me up on facebook if you have any questions or comments or anything! My name is Alan Goodwin. God bless :)


Scott said...

That was an awesome post!! Very thought provoking.

Ashley said...

Sorry, that comment from scott was actually me. ;-)