So, I had this long post about how you are not to be unequally yoked. I had typed it up last week during spring break and I was all excited because all I had to do was copy and paste! Then, tada! My post would have been done with no problem! God had other plans… So, I resolve to sit here and try to write out what He has been laying on my heart heavily all morning! I truly believe that we focus on girls who are dating way more than we do girls who are choosing to wait on dating. Everyone has their own opinion, but today I feel led to share with the girls who rather not date. Of course anyone can be encouraged by it, but I’m writing it with girls who are not dating in mind!
With all that said… What does our culture tell us about having a boy friend? It tells us that it is mandatory. If you do not have a bf (boy friend) then you must be hideous looking and have no personality at all. Is that true though? I beg to differ… First off, I do understand that there are some girls who have never been asked out, but I whole heartedly believe that God is preparing them for one special man and honestly, I think it is a blessing at times to have not been pursued by other guys before the right man comes along. Then there are the other girls who are strictly single by choice. We have turned guys down and will most likely continue to until we find a guy that we think is a possible husband! Is anything wrong with that? The world says it’s crazy…. The world also says, “How are you going to be “Experienced” or know how to be a good girl friend if you’ve never been in a relationship before?”. This is just my own feelings, but since I’m the one writing this post I get to share them! ;) I rather have a husband who is clumsy when it comes to relationship things because he is completely innocent than a husband who knows exactly what to say, where to move, and what to do because he is not innocent at all!!! Are you with me?? I totally understand that our honey moon may not be perfect, but we can laugh through it and appreciate the fact that we could know exactly what to do with each other, but that would only mean that we had done it with other people!
Back on the subject though… Is it ok to be single? I once got close to a girl who was gorgeous and had all the guys like her. She didn’t go from guy to guy, but she definitely didn’t get the whole, “It’s ok to be single!” deal. One day I mentioned in passing that a guy had asked me out the night before and she got all excited and was telling me congrats on the relationship and I was like, “Ummmm what? I just said he asked me out. I said nothing about that we were going out!”. She couldn’t understand it… If I had no boy friend and he had asked me out…why did I turn him down? She began to ask me what was wrong with him and all that jazz. I mean something had to have been wrong! The truth is, he was a good guy, but he just wasn’t the one for me. She still just couldn’t get that though. The world thinks that the only way to be a “true” teenager is to have a boyfriend. I’m here today to challenge you girls that it does NOT have to be that way!! If you and a guy like each other and you see him as a possible future husband then go for it! Please do not feel pressured by the world to have a boyfriend though.
Here’s the way I see it… The soul purpose of dating is to find your future spouse. So, if the guy isn’t even a possible candidate (Btw, if you do not know if he is Kat wrote a great post a while back about writing out a list for what you want in a future husband!) then why waste your time? I do believe that it is possible to guard your heart in such a way that you do not give it away while you are in a relationship, but I also know how extremely hard that is to do. Why put yourself in a place where it would be VERY easy for you to give in when you could simply avoid it by just waiting. I know it is not easy to do and I also know how lonely it can be at times…. Yet, more than that I whole heartedly believe that it is worth it! Would you rather your husband wait for you? Side note… I’m all about forgiveness and if the guy God has planned for me has made mistakes I will not mind forgiving him one bit, but just think how special I would feel if I knew he had waited on me. How even before he knew me he loved me enough to wait on me!!
Finally, here’s the deal… If you have already been saying, “No” to guys then keep it up! I know it is not easy, but with God ALL things are possible! If you have believed the lie that you have to have a boyfriend, rethink it! There is always a chance to start over! Your husband will appreciate any effort you give him! Also, just an idea… write your future husband about the guys that you turn down! I love writing sweet notes telling him how I just turned down a guy simply because I knew it wasn’t him! It helps keep your focus on the prize! =)
Running along beside you,
P.S. I want to make it clear also that there is NO reason to belittle a guy just because he isn’t the one God has for you! There are some great guys who need to know that they are great, but just aren’t the great guy for you. I encourage you to be supportive of them and encourage them to wait also!