Trail of guys...

Do you have a trail of guys? Maybe past boyfriends, just extremely close friends, past crushes, etc. Meaning, when you go somewhere do you often see guys that you use to have a “thing” with or that you have kissed before? I knew one girl who had dated or talked to almost every guy she knew. Not exaggerating…. Guys at church, school, old friends, all of them. She seemed to be perfectly happy with it, but I have to ask how awkward it was though. Every where she went she ran into someone who knew her in ways that only her future husband should. What about when she gets older, finds the right one, and returns to her old town or if they stay in town. She will still see those guys from the past. Do you get where I’m going with this? Does it have to be this way? I propose that it doesn’t. Our world says that it is just a part of life, but I believe God has a better plan! Now is the time to decide if you are going to have a past or not….  

Also, think ahead a little… You have found the perfect guy! You love him to death and cant imagine life without him! There is one thing though… He is perfect and all, but he isn’t quite as good of kisser as one of the guys in your past. You feel terrible for even thinking that, but it’s the truth. Of course hopefully it will be a little different since you are truly in love, but still you cannot forget your past no matter how much you move on. I’m not saying all this to be negative, but I tell you this to give you a reality check. NOW is the time to honor your future husband! Innocence is beautiful!!

If you have lost your innocence, take heart! God heals… It will never be as if it didn’t happen, but He can/will restore you! Begin NOW honoring your future husband!

JEN 

Money Monday

Tip- Drink Water. Yes, sounds simple, but do you realize how much money you can save by just not buying a soda? Think about it next time you eat out!

Thinking past what you see!

Most of you girls have purity standards. That is amazing! I am honestly impressed when I read blogs by how strong you girls are. It is really great. I have been really thinking about it though and you hardly ever hear of standards when engaged. I know that people have different of opinions versus dating and therefore engagement would look different. For the typical engagement though should there be any difference in purity standards? Honestly I have no opinion on this one. I’m still thinking it through and what I would tell others. What do you think though? Have you even thought about it? I will encourage you with one thing though… It is just the same as dating in the part that you need to decide before it comes. It is a total different dynamic when all of the sudden you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person and you know this is the person you will one day have sex with. It is more pressure. Now is the time to decide what you stand for! So share some thoughts! J

JEN

Monday Musings...

My hear has been broken all weekend for the families in Connecticut... Here is a post I really encourage you listening to! It has great truth. Worth 3 minutes! :)

http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=10151195531403915

Money Monday

Tip- Don't waste food! It is easier said than done. About this time there is plenty of food floating around. You have left overs from this party, goodies from classes, so on and so on. Dont let that go to waste. i have bought a large thing of to-go boxes that after a meal i will deliberately put the left overs neatly in the box and will have it for lunch the next day. I plan leftovers into my meals! This way first off it saves time. Second off i do not waste. Some people put it in different containers and that is fine if that is what you want to do. I rather go ahead and make the plate so that way it is less to clean up and quicker. Also, then i wont forget about something way back in the refrigerator!

Food for Friday

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord, my rock and my redeemer!

I'm glad I waited!

The big question I am often asked is, "Are you glad you waited for the right guy?". Without a doubt yes! It all seemed so distant for so long, but very quickly it became reality. Everyrhing I had waited for in a man was here. Girls.... know what you want and don't give in! Have you ever heard of writing out a list of what you want in a man? Almost every youth group seems to do this. It is a good idea though. The idea is to write out what you would like in a husband. Be descriptive! This is not a flippant thing. The man you marry will be the man you spend the rest of your life with and the man that your children call daddy. What do you want this man to be like? Here are some of the things on my list!

- Love God
-Want to go into ministry
=Enjoys kids
-Tall and handsome
-Hard Worker
-Loves his family
-Is faithful
-Same theology
- good with money
-sense of humor
-mature
-muscles
-leader


Girls, matt is all I could have ever wanted. This isnt just about who you will marry though. I believe this should also have to do with who you date. Dont give something that belongs to your future husband. This is hard to stick close to. I will be the first to admit i "talked" to many guys, but the thing was it never seemed to really work because i knew what i wanted. Do you know what you want in a man? Tell me! :)

Money Monday

Tip- Use up the giftcards you have laying around! I find it fascinating how many people have unused gift cards in their wallet. Sometimes we get those that we just don't seem to find the time or place to use. Well, here's an idea! Either make a point to use it yourself. Even if it isn't a store you normally go to. Find all of the unused ones you have... you may have to dig through the junk drawr! Have you considered giving it as a gift to someone else? It may be a nice place that you just do not normally go. Consider giving it as a gift! Also, if you still just can't figure out what to do with it then give it to someone in need! You may not have the money to give them something in particular, but you can give them something you already have! Make use of what you have!

Random thought of the day...

Who have you impacted today?

Random acts of love!

I debated posting about this because I would never want it to come across as if I was bragging. I just want to share what awesome things God has been doing in my life! I will start out with how Ive really been struggling with what the meaning of life is lately... I'm not sure why, but everything kept making me think about it and life just seemed so empty. I mean money has no purpose... we leave it on earth when we die. We do so much for it and it gets us nothing. Football, school, and so on... in the end do they matter? I just kept pondering it. I would ask Matt and he would say over and over "to please God" and I would say that I knew that, but what did that really mean. Finally he just told me I had to figure it out on my own. So I continued praying about it, but figured it would be one of those things I never really understood. Until the other night I was on pinterest and was just browsing when I came across this pin about random acts of kindness. I was interested BC I've always loved doing sweet things, but the more I looked into it the more excited I got. I thought about it and the next day I decided to do it! On the first day I tried to think what I could do with no money. So I thought... and I came up with some awesome ideas!! First off, I had a large amount of coupons from the coupon books that the schools sold last year that was going bad at the end of the month. A lot were to restaurants that were buy one get one free. So I decided to return them! So I separated them out and went by the places I could. I would just tell them that I wanted them to go to good use and please give them to the next couple of people who came in. It was crazy how shocked people were and how they didn't understand why I would go out of my way to do that. One man just kept asking why I didn't want to use them. I was like because i want to show someone the love of Jesus! Then I came across a coupon for one free cup of coffee (no purchase needed) from krispie kreme. So I ran by and grabbed one and gave it to the next bell ringer I saw! She lit up so much! I think I was happier giving it to her though than she was getting it! I also cleaned out my clothes. I'm pretty organized and clean so I didn't have many clothes to give, but I decided to part with some that I normally would have kept, but didn't really need. The next day was full of fun ones! Then today I was babysitting and so Matt and the girls joined along! it was beyond a blast! Seeing the girls get into it and Matt also. It blessed me with joy more than anything! I had a limit of money which wasn't a ton and decided to see how many people i could bless with just that amount of money! Follow along as i list some of the opportunities I have had!

 

Coffee to bell ringer  

 

Coupons given back

 

Meal at McDonald's

This only cost me $2.50. The lady behind me started honking as I pulled away.

 At first i thought she was mad, but when i looked back she was

waving thanking me with the biggest smile on her face! 

 

Policeman's meal at back yard burger

This is my favorite one! I wasn't planning on buying another meal until

a policeman pulled behind me in the drive thru. I was thrilled! I

wanted to let him know how much I appreciate him!

 

$5.00 to regions teller

When I got my cash i was able to tell her what i was planning on doing

with it and when i was about to walk away I decided to start with her!

 

Candy bar for bell ringer

I asked the older man ringing the bell on the way in what his favorite candy

bar. It was only .48. As i was telling my mom, if i do not have .48

to make someones day better then i am worse off than i should

be. We pass up such easy opportinities!

 

Candy bar for cashier

 

Tea for Matt

I decided I couldnt just show love to strangers, but also to my fiance!

He loves milos sweet tea, but doesnt get it often because it's to

expensive for a college student. I surprised him with a gallon

when i came back!

 

Tea for jen

It's close to finals and I know that my roomie (We are both RA's

now so we no longer share a room, but we are still very close!) loves hot tea from the mall.

So i picked up her favorite kind!

 

Bacon for Sarah

I have a friend at college who loves... and that is an understatement for bacon.

lol I bought a thing of bacon and left it in her refrigerator with an encouraging note!

I cant wait until she gets back

 

Folding clothes for girls

This is another free one and easy! At school we have a community laundry room.

Often if you need the dryer you just sit the ones that were in the dryer on top.

So the other night i made a point to fold all of the clothes. It is no biggie at all,

but around this time of the semester we all need a little help!

 

Clean ladies house

I babysit on a rgular basis. This time the lady had had a rough day and her house

was not as clean as normal. So after the kids went to bed i just picked

up and cleaned the kitchen! 

 

Goodies for girls

Again... It's almost finals and everyone can use a little energy

boost! Left som treats by the door for each girl!  

 

Heart cough drops

One of the girls in the dorms wasnt feeling so great so I taped 

cough drops in a heart shape! 

 

Give goodie's to police and firemen

We made all kinds of cookies and delivered them to a few different fire

and police stations! The girls had a blast today giving them out!

 

Apple cider and crackers to bell ringers

It wasnt so cold today, but they still seemed to enjoy it though!

 

Popcorn taped to redboxes

This was a fun idea for the next person who rented the next

movie they would have free popcorn!

 

Cupcakes to scouts fundraising with Christmas trees

We made cupcakes and gave it out to all the hungry boys trying to raise money!

 

Coffee for girls during late nights

During the week of finals the girls will all be up late so i have it set

up where there will be coffee and snacks set up all night!

 

Thank you cards Made by kids

The girls made cards for the police and firemen! So adorable!

 

Candy cane competition

We each competed to see through out the day who could give

the most candy canes away during the day to random people!  

 

Return grocery carts

Simple, but often not done! Offer to take people's buggies back for

them. This especially helps moms with children!

 

I have a few other ideas that I may share later! For now though I want to make this point... Kindness does not always have to be hard or cost! You can do it by just simply smiling as you walk by people. A lot of times we have things that could help others, but we are just to lazy to do it. If I can remember I would like to buy a candy bar for each cashier as i check out. It is mere change. I cannot express how happy this has made me! I am so blessed. So how can you show love today? Think out of the box! What can you do? Something as simple as a kind gesture can brighten someones whole day. The world is full of darkness... I choose to be someones light! :) What is something you can or have done today to encourage someone? Comment with ideas and what you have done!

JEN

Money Monday

Tip- Coupon! No, I'm not talking the crazy coupon people you see on TV who spends their whole life trying to find a good deal. I'm refering to the spend tops an hour a week just looking over the sale ads (love publix!) and then look through your coupons. My grandmothers give me their coupons out of the paper, but also i keep an eye on www.coupon.com . I only print what i know i will use! This way i dont waste ink. I do have a coupon binder. I only keep/cut what i know i will use. This way i do not have to flip through so much. Remember, walmart does match prices, but you have to have either the sale paper with you or an app on your phone. I have multiple grocery store apps so that I can check for the best price. I will post more later about practical couponing... but for now just keep your eyes open! It doesn't have to be that hard.

 

 

 

 

Quote of the day!

"My prince has already come and his name is Daddy!" ~Movie Courageous

I HIGHLY encourage you to go see the movie!


Who else is a daddy's girl!? :)

You are worth more... If you are sexually active

Hopefully this title caught you off guard and made you question my sanity. Today in class a friend of mine was giving a presentation on a book about self image. It was very interesting, but one thing she said caught my attention. The world sees it as if you are sexually active you are worth more... Meaning if you are not sexually active then it must be no guy finds you attractive. This is a LIE! It is so true that our culture believes this though... It breaks my heart. This is right opposite of the truth, yet so many girls believe this lie! I am here to tell you that if you are not sexually active that does NOT mean that you are any less valuable. Honestly, in most God loving guys eyes they see you as a precious jewel because you have not given yourself away. I want to say though that if you have had sex you are without a doubt still worth more than you can imagine! God heals and restores. For the purpose of this post though i want to get the point across that if you have not been sexually active or have been and has gotten back right with God you are worth more than you can imagine! It is not in the least a bad thing that you aren't sexually active. To tell you the truth I'm sure there are many guys that would date you if you would have sex with them, but the reason they aren't dating you is because they do not want to give up sex. Multiple guys would be honest with me that because i wouldn't kiss them they didn't want to date me. It was a sad reality, but I am glad to know that they knew i was serious. I meant what i said and was not going to let some random boy kiss me. Stick to your guns and do not believe the world! YOU ARE WORTH LIFE! Jesus died for you specifically because He found value in you! Hold on tight to that truth. Today you may be man less, but one day you will have a man who appreciates more than you can comprehend that you waited and didn't have careless sex to find your identity. It is worth the wait!

With care,
JEN

Money Monday

Tip- Reuse gifts! My family use to make the most fun of me b/c i would do this all the time! I still do, but with a little more class than i use to! :) i was known for giving my toys as Christmas presents. It was sweet, but none the less funny. Now I am talking about that kitchen utensil that you already had so you didn't really need another one. The book that you already had. The candle or lotion that was like the zillioneth one you have. So on and so on. You know what I'm talking about. People give frames and then instead of using it the person just puts it in a drawer to collect dust. That's useless! Re give it! Be thoughtful about it, but don't let things go to waste. Especially when it is Christmas time and you are playing dirty Santa or something like that. Please for goodness sakes do not go buy something! You have plenty laying around your house! Think out of the box. Someone else may really like it or need it.

What seemed like such a short while ago...

So, can you tell that I have the blogging fever again and I am all into it? I really feel like I have alot to say. It may not mean anything to anyone else, but hopefully it will! :)

Everyone knows... I'm engaged (EEK!!!lol)! Have been for about 5 months. I could go on and on, but that isn't the point. The point is I fear that now all of the sudden I'm in the category of "one of those girls". You know the "Lucky" kind who found her love before age 30. I am not all of the sudden thrown in the category of, "She has no idea what it is like to be single". Welllllll oh contrar. As a matter of fact this time last year i was single.... very single... lol It is crazy... I know! Trust me. I've been thinking back alot this last week or so b/c soon it will be when Matt and I began talking. This post is not going to get into just wait or how God worked it all out. I have no doubt at all He did, but that will be saved for another post. Tonight I just wanted to say.... I am just like you. I am engaged and you may or may not be, but please do not write me off. I understand loneliness, fear of never finding the right one, begging God to send Him (You should read some of my journals!), and so on. I do see the other side though and I can offer hope. So often older women try to encourage us and they mean it out of the best heart, but the thing is it seems so distant and we don't see how they can understand what it feels like. Please know that I am only mere 20. Sometimes I feel like this last year has been a crazy roller coaster, but at the same time I know it is the divine will of God.


All this to say.... Please know that where I am coming from is no old woman who has had a man forever. I know the pain of wondering, waiting, and longing. I write from the heart and with brutal honesty sometimes. I want to encourage you and push you on when you feel like giving in. Purity is worth it. That's all I have to say tonight!

Much love,
JEN

Money Monday

Hi ladies! So since I love to save money i figured i would give some random tips! You may think, "Duhhhh doesn't everyone do that!" or you may think "Duhhhhh why did I never think of that?!"! Either way enjoy! :)

Tip- Cut dryer sheets in half or in fourths! I remember my mom use to do this and i always wondered why. Those boogers are expensive! You will be amazed how it really makes no difference at all except you get 2 or 3 times as many out of the box!

Musings from an engaged woman...

So I had planned on rather retiring this blog, but the longer it went the more I missed it and I realized I had stuff I wanted to say. That leads us to here... Posting again! :) I am now in another whole season of life that I never thought would come. Really... I was telling Matt today that I never thought I would be 20 and engaged. Here I am though! I am SO glad I did some things the way I did and I've also learned some things. So, since I am crazy busy (who isn't?!) I won't post as much as I use to, but I would like to continue posting. Most will be about purity while others may be about wifely things! I love saving money, cleaning and cooking! I might add some of those things as well! :) lease comment so that I know someone is reading and I'm not just wasting my time! :) For now... Happy Thanksgiving!!

Jen

Abuse- Real stuff

So I said I wasn’t going to be blogging much or anymore, but God has really been teaching me something and I wanted to share it. I would love to spare someone else from learning something the hard way! J Im going to tell a long story short with very few details. I was physically taken advantage of, but way more than that emotionally abused by a friend. It was only a few years ago. I went to counseling and thought I had it all together. I never once said I was angry at the person. For that matter I always quickly said that I forgave them. If you knew me much you would know that my personality is quite completely opposite of anger. I wasn’t even sure I knew how to feel angry. My parents kept asking me and expecting me to be, but I wasn’t. Long story short years have passed and I almost hardly ever thought about it. Until one night I broke. I cried and cried and cried. More tears than I had cried in all my life put together. Matt was the sweetest and even though he couldn’t understand or really answer any of my questions that had been buried for so long. I told him everything I could remember that the person did, said, every way they deceived, lied, and hurt me. I had never had anyone sit down and listen to it all…. Either I had covered it up or they didn’t care to listen. Also a lot had been blocked…. When I would think of one thing it would remind me of another thing. It went on and on and on. I remembered more than I thought I did and as I began to face the stories the emotions came back that I had held hidden for so long. It was amazing how refreshed I felt the next morning when I began seeking the face of the Lord over what had happened. It hit me like a ton of bricks though when I was reading in Matthew where God talks about anger and allowing HIM to get revenge. Ouch… I had never looked at the situation through the eyes of anger. I had, but I didn’t see it as that. I was angry at what they did, that the person didn’t seem to care a lick afterwards, that the people I did choose to share this private info with either didn’t stand up for me, turned away, or completely, ditched me. Not once had someone ever just said tell me what you remember… they always acted awkwardly, talked as if they knew it all, or chose the easy way out. Not one was a true friend. I would have never admitted it before, but I was hurt and angry about it. Can I put a plug in here? Talk to your parents… My parents were the only ones that supported me fully! We didn’t talk about it much because I chose not to, but they stepped up, defended me, protected me, comforted me, got me the help I needed, and so much more. If you are dealing with anything like this I challenge you to talk to your parents! They love you like no one else ever will. So back to the point though I had been angry and didn’t even realize it. Not like punching angry, but I had built up a wall between God and people. “Why did He let that happen to me? I was so innocent.” I kept asking Matt. He had nothing to say except that it wasn’t in vain and that it had a purpose. I cried again. I began to beg God to tear down that wall I had built up out of hurt, pain, and anger. I had also built it between people.  You probably would have never seen it If you knew me, but I had often over the past few years wondered why it wasn’t just a flow of love like it use to be. It was harder and seemed unreal sometimes. That’s because I viewed everyone through the eyes of they would hurt me. The wall wasn’t torn down instantly and it probably still isn’t, but I am in the process of tearing it down piece by piece. I share this with you for a few reasons… First if you have been abused in ANY fashion do not bottle it up. It will come out at some point and until it does it will just fester and fester getting uglier and uglier. Be real. Its ok to admit the pain and anger. God knows it anyway. I personally think it is better to be honest that you are angry than to fake that you aren’t. That’s lying and being angry then. Be real. Then talk to someone. I pray that you have someone who will just listen to you as much as you want to talk and share. That is a special gift. If you are a friend of someone who has gone through something like this or been abused in anyway LISTEN! Don’t try to answer, fix, or anything. If you aren’t sure you can handle it then don’t start listening. Stick it out. True friends do. Whatever you do not make your friend regret that they told you. They trust you with valuable information. Respect it! If you have been through something or know someone who has I’m willing to listen. That is one good thing that came out of all of it, I felt a call into counseling to help others who faced things like this. I’m here and I do care! Feel free to email me anytime jennifer.rochester@charter.net . I wish I would have had someone to listen. Please pray for me as I continue to grow from this and I pray for anyone of you who may be dealing with any of this. You are loved and you deserve for someone to listen to you!

 With all that said… Abuse is real. I do not tell you all of this to get pity or anything of the sort. I tell you this to give glory to God and to be real with you myself. I want to be an example and an encouragement to others. I wish i would have read something like this when i was going through it all...

It doesn’t have to be all out rape to be abuse. Abuse in many cases is overlooked because the person abused is so deceived that they actually believe they deserve it. Girls (and guys for that matter!) STAND UP! You have the right to be hurt and upset! You have the right to be heard and cared for! Know that I am praying for you and that I do care. You are beautiful and loved!

Jen

Blogging Break

Blogging Break

Hi Gals! How are you all? Sooooo I’ve been praying and thinking a lot and I feel that it is God’s will that I take a break from blogging. I will soon be taking on new adventures and I feel as if I am entering a new stage of life! It is amazing, but can also be overwhelming. Please pray for me as I soon become one of the girl RA’s at college, start back college, and so forth. I’m looking forward to a new season of life! Of course I will post if I have any earth awakening news or thoughts! I will also continue reading your blog! J Praying for you girls!!

JEN

I'M ENGAGED!!!

I’M ENGAGED!!! Those are the words that every girl dreams of saying one day!! As of Sunday around 11:15 am I am engaged to the sweetest, Godliest, hard working, smart, handsome, man that I could ever ask for! I’ve mentioned a few times on here that I was in a relationship. I want this post to be as much of an encouragement to you as it is about my excitement.

Matt and I have not been dating for long, but since early on we knew we were right for each other. It is almost been exactly 6 months. We met at school. At first we honestly did not even notice each other. We liked other people and after different things happened we became friends and talked often which led to our relationship. Long story short soon we knew we were meant to be together for life. I had dated a few guys before and he hadn’t really dated at all. Anyway, he of course asked my dad’s permission to marry me and dad without hesitation said yes. They as well knew that he was the man for me! We both decided to wait until we finish college to get married just because it would be hard to be in college and newlyweds. This equals a rather long engagement, but we are ok with that. We have no doubt that God will use us during this time in a special way just like He will when we are married! Now to the proposal… What every girl wants to know!! J He knows me well! He did it in front of our entire church last Sunday morning. We were, along with another guy being recognized for helping out with the kids and teens when the pastor informs the congregation that Matt had something he wanted to share. At this point I had already seen my best friend from school, his family, and my family walk in so I knew something was up. He began to share how when penguins find the one they love they do certain things. For instance the male penguin will search and search for his perfect mate and then when he finds her he will begin searching for the prettiest, smoothest, roundest rock and he will kick it from even sometimes miles away to place it at her feet. So with this in mind he had 4 rocks with a letter written on each one in which they spelt out “Love”. On the other side they spelt “Trus” at this point after he had layed them around me he grabbed my hand and began telling me of how he had waited, prayed for me and found me. He knew that I was the one for him. At this point Bro Bill standing behind him says, “I think you need one more rock!” That is when he is handed the ring! He then proceeds to get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife! J Of course I then gladly said, “YES!!”We hugged and the congregation excitedly applauded!! I honestly cannot remember what the rest of the service was about, but I can tell you I was the happiest woman alive! He had planned it so well and the ring was perfect! I had never told anyone, but always in the back of my mind I thought it would be nice to be asked in front of the church for one reason. I have stood so strong on purity. We had spoken to the youth about it, encourage the kids in it, and do our best to live it out for all to see. You probably already know, but we have vowed to not kiss until our wedding day. Many people find this hard to believe, but as he proposed they were able to watch and see that we only hugged and he kissed me on the top of the head. How many other girls would be ok with this? Very few! It was my untold dream though. Also he had people taking photos and video! Note to any guy… DO THIS! It means a lot to a girl! Anyway, also as far as the ring… he knew me well! I had told him a little of what I wanted but nothing to specific. I absolutely love it and believe it is the prettiest ring ever!! J Simple yet elegant! It was an exciting day! One I will remember forever! J

Now to you girls… yes it is a sweet story, but you may be thinking I will never find a guy like that! YES there are still men like that! They are few and far between, but I can promise you there are! As we sit back now and see how God brought us together we see how He had it all orchestrated. There were specific times that Matt needed prayer that I remember God laying on my heart to pray for my future husband. Same goes for him and me! God has someone in mind for you and He will be worth waiting on. I look back now and wonder why I made some of the decisions that I did. Nothing big, but things that I now regret. Dating isn’t a game or something to do just to pass time. Take it seriously and make decisions that honor your future spouse! There are good guys out there who will respect and love you for you. You will not have to give sex to receive love. Wait… Wait on a man who loves you for you and not for what you will give him! Wait for a man who will hold the door, kiss you on the forehead, and ask you about your relationship with the Lord! Trust me… It is worth waiting on! I would have never dreamed that I would be engaged at a young 20. I always feared I would be an old maid with no one in sight. God had a plan though! Who knows when you will get engaged, but I can promise you that God has a plan for you as well! Stay faithful… you never know when the right man will walk into your life! Do you want to be dating every guy around when he comes into your life? Just a few thought and challenges!

 Below are some pictures that were taken last Sunday! J Such a wonderful day!!

JEN  

Dating or Courting.... Either a sin?

So, the question is often asked, "Should I court or date?" This can be a very opinated topic and many people feel strongly one way or the other, but hopefully this post will help you see that it is not one or the other, but that it is about the heart. Each person has a different idea of courting. Some are more conservative and some are not. Some have a conservative idea of dating and some do not. Each persons’ idea is different. By Webster’s definition....


Dating: To have a date with

Courting: To engage in social activities within seek of engagement.


I will be honest with you girls from the beginning... I have no problem with a girl dating a guy (I'm in a dating relationship myself.), but I'm also very pro courting. What is the difference between the two? The main difference I see is that courting has the main purpose of leading to marriage where dating is often get together and break up the next day. My personal stand on this whole issue though is it is not what you call it, but how you handle it! I've known people who courted who got into just as much sin as people who dated did. I've also known plenty of people who dated who had a completely God honoring relationship. So, it is not about what you call it that makes one better than the other. It is how YOU act that makes the difference. It is often said that when dating you have more time alone and this can be true. Does it have to be though? Couples who are courting also have many opportunities to be alone. It is up to the couple to choose whether they take those opportunities or not. Do courting couples often stay further away from sexual sin? Some do and some don’t. It is the same exact thing with people who have dated.


Now I’m sure I have some of you pretty upset seeing that many of you have parents who only allow courting and that’s all you've ever really been allowed to do. That is great! Go thank your parents for that! My whole point in this is to make you realize that it is not what you call it that makes it OK or not it is what you do and how you act that makes it OK or not! Just like going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, courting does not make you pure. Also, to any parents who read my blog.... Just b/c your child courts and does not date, this is not an "I'm safe from anything happening" Seek God.... See what HE wants you to do! It may be date, court, or somewhere in the middle! As I’ve said time and time before, you know where you struggle and if dating causes to many temptations then do not do it!

I do believe that courting has one VERY strong pull and that is that it generally is wayyyyyy more focused on marriage. I see girls who date guy after guy and it becomes nothing for them to break up and a broken heart almost becomes nothing. is this the way it is suppose to be? NO! Dating was never mentioned in the Bible. The purpose of dating is to find the one and only man you will marry. I am not for any other kind. It is not OK to date just for fun... dating is not a game. This is where courting generally helps cut down on the breakups and in the long run saves many broken hearts. You can court and give your heart away just as easily though...

Girls, talk to your parents! See what they think about it. Maybe you feel that dating is OK, but they do not. This is when you have to choose to obey them even if it isn’t what you want to do. They have your best interest at heart and they know you better than you think they do. Trust and obey them b/c I promise you that if you go behind their back and date a guy God will not bless your relationship.

Below is a list of healthy relationship habits whether it be courting or dating relationship!

1. Do not spend to much time alone
2. Have Emotional Boundaries  (I love you, how dependant, etc)
3. Have Physical Boundaries (Self explanatory... think of all possibilities ahead of time!)
4. Involve parents
5. Have accountability partners
6. PRAY
7. Seek the face of God...
8. Keep friends (Besides your significant other)

Praying for you!

JEN

Living Above Reproach

Hi Gals! Long time no chat.. God has been teaching me a lot this last week and i wanted to share some of it with you! One of the main things is how we are called to live above reproach. This is often used, but rarely lived out. How do you do this? What does it look like? I am here to challenge you to find what it looks like in your life! Recently there were things that came up that I could have easily been accused of doing something that i did not do. As it was talked out I was found Innocent. How was i found innocent? Because by God's grace my life was above reproach in this situation. Now please do not think that I'm bragging or saying that I am perfect in any kind of way whatsoever. This has challenged me in other areas of my life to see if I am above reproach there as well. When someone looks at your life do you live in such a way that they can easily believe what you say? Can they easily believe that your intentions were of the best? Can they easily see that you seek to honor God with your life? Sometimes it is obvious one way or the other, but from what I have observed in life often people are on the line. They aren't obviously out to do wrong, but at the same time they are not obviously out to honor God either. I challenge you to examine your life... In what ways are you not living above reproach? What things do you do that if someone found out they would be deeply disappointed. We all have secrets and past, but the point is what you are doing now. So I challenge you! Think...ponder.... pray... Seek the face of Jesus over this... What ways is your life not meeting the standards of our Lord? In what ways are you not living above reproach? If someone accused you of something would your life be able to stand against their accusations? Would you have to defend yourself or could they see for themselves that you are not guilty. This is when your Christian walk means something!

Much care,
JEN

Prayer Request....

Dearest followers, I do not do this often, but i have a major prayer request that i would really like you to pray for. I do not do this often and rarely if ever have asked for a personal prayer request. My precious grandmother (Nana) received a call today that no one wants to get. She has not been feeling well for a while and has lost a massive amount of weight. Today her doctor called and said that her test had come back and she had........ cancer. It seems so common, yet so hard to say at the same time. It is one of those things that everyone else deals with, but it will never effect you. My grandmother is one of the humblest, sweetest, Godliest woman i know. I hate to even think of what faces her in the future. More test will determine what kind of chemo will be done, although we know that she will have to undergo chemo and that it is very serious. As we sat in the doctors office thousands of questions pass through your mind. The biggest one is why... why did this happen? Cancer is a part of life and it is no respecter of persons. She is the happiest, active, healthy senior adult you will ever meet. God, why? I know there is a reason.... I really do, but just in one day it's alot to take in. Tonight at church the pastor was talking about someone else who has cancer and how the illustration was used of Shaderack (Spl?), Meshack, and Abendigo. When they were discussing how God will save them from the fiery furnace they make the statement that their God can save them and If he doesn't He is still God. Meaning God is not required to save them. They believed He could and He did, but they also knew that He did not have to. Our family is fully aware that God does not have to heal my grandmother... Although we at the same time believe he completely can if He sees fit. Of course we are pleading that He sees fit, but trust in His plan! So with all that said please pray for Nana and the rest of us as well. This is a new adventure and I trust that God is God no matter what! Below are a few pictures of Nana!! :)

JEN

At Jon's Basketball Game! Nana is the one with the white hair. 

 Easter 2012

 Nana and I went on my Senior trip to Colorado back in 2010

 On our way in to Rockies Baseball game!

Way up high somewhere in Colorado! 

Katherine Guest Post

When I was 6, someone that was supposed to be safe in a place that was supposed to be safe, asked me if I wanted to kiss.  

I said yes.

When I was 6, someone who was supposed to be safe in a place that was supposed to be safe, touched me in  an inappropriate manner.

I said nothing.

I let it...because I liked it. 

That sounds terrible, and it's terrifying to write. But I must tell the truth.

It lasted I don't know how long, a few times here and there. It ended when my father discovered it.

When I was older & could consider it all, I sometimes thought- I'm messed up. I'm dirty. 

Why am I telling the Internet world this? Why am I telling you this? 

Because I believe that vulnerability heals. In the hidden, we shame ourselves, or let others shame us. We tell ourselves we're unworthy, or let others tell us. Whispers, constant whispers in our souls, telling us that our actions...our actions are more powerful than who we are.  

But is this true? No! Actions may often speak louder than words, but nothing speaks louder than the essence within us. It shines, lovely, whether you see it or not. Don't hide it with shame, guilt, self doubt, and regret. 

Release. Forgive yourself. 

I am so blessed to have a very conscious supportive mother. She did everything she could to prevent me feeling those negative feelings. She told me that it was natural that physical sensations should be pleasing. She encouraged me to speak to her about everything then, and ever after, so that secrets and lies wouldn't damage me. 

I know not all girls are so fortunate. My heart is with you, if you are one of the girls who has not spoken out, who feels rejected or unworthy, or has no support. I encourage you to speak your story, if you haven't, or be an open heart to hear stories. I encourage you to be vulnerable, with yourself first, let yourself off the hook, & keep yourself safe. It's scary to speak, but we are not as isolated as our silence convinces us. If you have no idea what or where a safe space is, I encourage you to seek out your local YWCA, and investigate their services. 

How did I release those feelings? How do I, rather. It's a choice, sometimes daily, to forgive myself (for any mistakes I make) and release myself. My journey began when I read Brene Brown's book, I thought it was Just me (but it isn't) Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. Her book on shame was transformative (she knows what she's talking about, 12 years research). 

She explains that guilt and shame are two very different things. Guilt is feeling bad because you've done something perceived as bad. Shame is feeling that you are bad. Which do you feel most, and why? 

I've often read stories by women who had no knowledge or regard for purity, for keeping love unawakened. When they were older and felt the conviction of the path of purity, they felt it was too late. These stories usually end in them realizing they could have a beautiful marriage, and renew their hearts and minds, even though they made mistakes. 

What of us who had hardly a chance to remain physically pure? What of us who had our love awakened with complete unawareness? Are we impure? 

It pains me to think anyone would think so!! 

It doesn't matter how physically pure you are, if your spirit, your soul, your self is pure. And I believe that each of you young ladies reading this blog have a purity and innocence within that no one can take away. 

Don't let your mistakes or what others have done to you shut you down. You are beautiful and powerful beyond comprehension! Use the power of rebirth to transform yourself. Kill those unhealthy ways of thinking (this is where feelings start), kill your guilt, shame, regret. Set them on fire. From the ashes, recreate something magnificently moving. You can do it. 

For you literal folks- get a sheet of paper, write everything you think and feel that's holding you back from embracing your purity, and safely burn it. Or flush it down the toilet. After ripping it into as many pieces as possible!!! :)

You may shed tears. It will hurt. It's scary. But who you are  is oh so much more powerful than your circumstances and feelings!! 

with love <3

Katherine is a teenage entrepreneur, rebelutionary, & photographer. Refining her life with authenticity & inspiration, she writes Observations on Becoming. She lives in Pennsylvania with her role model parents, genius brother, & divinely demented dogs. Some of her favored entertainments & aspirations are learning Spanish & Hebrew, loving on the piano, psychological astrology, foreign accents, connecting with beautiful souls, salsa & belly dancing, & writing. She's passionate about personifying the power of the Phoenix. 

Healthy Relationship Habbits

Each post seems to be more and more don'ts and less do's so here goes a couple of do's! What are some healthy habits to start now that will lead to a healthy relationships later on. These are just somethings that i have personally experienced in my life! Hope you find them helpful!

1) Breaking up is not an option- I see so many couples who threaten to break up with each other if the other one doesn't do something. This is NOT HEALTHY! What does breakups lead to? Divorce. It is simply practice for divorce. Now of course, if you do not need to be with the guy then by all means break up with him, but do not just use it as regular conversation. Matt and I noticed the other day how even when we disagree on something we have never once threatened to break up with each other. This is a healthy habit. This way once you get married it will not be a common statement.

2) Do not point out other guys. I did not realize how often i did this until Matt pointed it out that he didn't appreciate it much. We as girls so often flippantly make comments about other guys, whether it be good or bad. We may say, "Ohhhh he is cute" Or "Look at him... He is....". This is demeaning to your man! Whether you have one at this point or not it is a good idea to go ahead and begin breaking this habit now. I wish i had! Would you want your special man to be pointing out other girls? I know i wouldn't! So why should we point out other guys?

3)Put God first... We say it all the time, but how often do we actually do it? Spend time with God. Make a point of it. Do you think about guys or God more? I have begun making a conscience effort to talk about God as much as Matt. To talk to God as much as Matt (That's hard with txting!). Go to God with your problems just as easily as you do your boyfriend. It takes a special effort.... it is worth it though!

JEN

You are what you eat... You are what you see!

You often hear the saying, “You are what you eat”. I believe this is also true of you are what you watch. There are so many movies now that have raunchy sex scenes in them and nothing is even thought about it. We are called as Christians to stand out against the world. I will be honest that I am not that careful about the movies I watch. I am more against the violence and cursing, but just as much as that we need to be aware of the sex scenes or even sexual jokes. I was informed the other day that the way our mind registers what we see is as if we are experiencing it our self. I forget the technical terms for it, but the point is that we enjoy watching stuff like that because it makes us feel good. Is this a good thing? Personally I find it hard to watch a hot sex scene and feel as if there is no hint of sexual impurity in it. So this may be a short post, but I want to challenge you to be careful what you watch! You may have saved everything for your future husband, but if you are watching inappropriate things then in reality you are not saving everything. It is just a thought!

JEN

Dating=Loss of Purity... Not true!

How can you date and continue to stay pure? I have been asked this a couple of times lately and I believe this is a very valid question. We often hear of waiting as not having a boyfriend, but is this the only way that you can be pure? I personally do not think so. Seeing that the bible doesn’t talk about dating we just have to do the best and follow what we feel like is God’s plan the best that we can. So with that said, yes I do have a boyfriend (Who is pretty stinkin amazing I might add!). So what are some practical ways to stay pure? Be open with your parents. Matt and I both do not live at home. We live on campus, but we still invite our parents to be a vital part of our lives. My parents know matt very well and see him almost a couple of times a week. I do not know his parents quite as well, but that is just because his parents live further away. Anyway though, allow your parents to be a part of your relationship. No matter your age. SET STANDARDS! I can promise you one thing… It is easier said than done. Do it though. Are you willing to kiss, make out, etc? Where are you willing to touch each other? What are you willing to say to each other? Do not overlook an area because I can promise you that will be one of the first areas that you will be tempted. Only date those that you can possibly see yourself marrying. Dating is not a joke. So many people take dating as almost a hobby. I completely disagree. Yes, Ive dated different guys that I will not marry, but I did not know that in the beginning. As soon as I figured it out I broke up with them. I challenge you to do the same. If you are dating someone that you would not want to have a son just like then you should break up with them immediately. A few questions to consider with your relationship is “Would I want someone touching my future husband the way I’m touching my boyfriend?”, “ will I one day regret having to tell my children what I did before marriage?” “Do I find it disturbing that God can see everything I am doing?”. If any of the answers bother you may need to reconsider your relationship. More than anything… keep God the center of your relationship. Keep your boyfriend in mind as someone that you have to present before God as Holy. He is to do the same for you.

I hope this helps! Please know that I am praying for you as you fight this tough battle!
JEN

Sex.... Good or bad?

So for the past few weeks I've felt like I haven't put my whole heart into this blog and for that I am TRULY sorry. I want you girls to know that eventhough I do not know each one of you who reads this personally I do care about you. You have no idea the times that I think of things to share with you, verses to encourage you, songs that you can relate to, and just try to come up with a way to share my heart with you. It is a constant part of my life... So with that said I want you to know that this post is one of the main things that has been on my heart lately and I would do absolutely anything for you to get this...




Often we say, "Don’t do this", "That’s not honoring to God", "You better not even be thinking about that!", yet we miss how truly amazing sex was made to be. Our culture has numbed sex down to something that you can do with anyone, at any time, with no strings attached. Is that really the way it is suppose to be though? Not at all... At least not with the mindset that God had when He created it. As I was thinking about this post and what I wanted to say I kept thinking to myself, "I cant possibly describe the amazing ness of sex and God's wonderful plan....". So I started praying that God would give me the words to say... We shall wait and see what happens... I want SO bad for you girls to get this...



First off I want to share with you that sex isn’t bad and in the right time and place sex is not a sinful thing... actually to withhold sex from your partner is sin (1 Corinthians 7:5). In the church sex is often a hush hush subject. What did God think though? Right the opposite… He didn’t hold back at all in His word when talking about sex. Just to be totally honest with you… I’m brought to tears every time I think about God’s wonderful idea (sex) and how hopefully one day I will be able to experience it. I totally understand that there are many girls who have a warped view of sexual intimacy simply because someone did things to them that they should have never done. I remember once writing in a diary how I didn’t want to ever have sex…. I viewed the whole idea as hurtful, shame, guilt, and anything but pleasurable. I’ve had many girls tell me that exact same thing also. You may know what I’m talking about… Is this God’s plan for sex though? NO! Just to make sure you got what I said… I said, “NO!!!!”! This is not His plan at all.



Now, I’ve said a couple of things that God’s plan isn’t. Lets discuss the good side- what God’s plan is! First off it is for you to fall in love with Him… and once that happens for you to find the man of your dreams! If you are in love with God and your desires are the same as His desires then the perfect man that He has will also be the one you want (Psalm 37:4). Isn’t it amazing how those things work out?! ;) For so long I didnt understand that. I thought the falling in love with God part was a drag and that I was gonna have to marry some geek who had no common sense, just studied God's word. I had such a messed up idea though.Girls, over the past year God has completely become the love of my life... I'm 100% satsified with not having a boyfriend. Of course I would like to have one, but Im willing to wait. Are you to that point in your life? People ask me why I do not date. They wonder if im against it or what, but the truth is I just havent met the right guy and Im willing to wait until I find him. I;m enjoying spending my time getting closer to God and improving my life so that I will one day be a better wife! On with my post though... :) Then for two to become one is God’s plan…. Maybe I’m just weird, but this is when I start getting chill bumps. We so often talk about not doing this or that bc of how hard it will be once you get married, but lets look at it from the positive side, for those of you who have waited and have worked so hard to save your heart. You will have nothing at all to hide…nothing to be afraid of… no regrets… Isn’t that an amazing thought? I’m not sure about you, but that makes me all the more determined to wait! I remember a woman that I look up to telling me, “Focus on the man at the end of the aisle!”. You may have no idea what so ever who he is, but that’s ok. His face can be blurry. The principal still stands though, you will want to know without a doubt as you walk down that aisle that you are giving him every last bit of yourself. No one else has any part of you that belongs to him! Then that night as you enter into your marriage you will not have to fight off past memories, regrets, flashbacks or anything like that.



Want to know one thing that just fascinates me? If you keep reading you will have no choice! ;) It is how soothing a woman’s breast can be. Again, this is where the church has become so hush hush about this, but im just going to be real with you. Song of Solomon discusses this. (Song of Solomon 7:7-8 Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit. May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples.) Have you ever noticed how if a child falls or is scared a woman can pick the child up and hold them near to herself and everything seems to go away? I imagine it is the same way for a man. Of course, not exactly, but please try to follow me. A woman’s breast brings comfort… this is the way God made it to be girls! Our world has made it to where the only time a woman’s breast is mentioned is when it is the blunt end of a disgusting joke or prank. That’s not the way God planned it though… Do you see the difference?! I hope so…



Another thing that I find amazing is how a guy is made to pursue the girl! Our culture says that women are as good at anything if not better than guys. Does that mean we have to though or that it is right too? Not at all... Have you ever thought about having a guy truly fall madly in love with you? To have him be willing to do anything for you? Of course! Doesn't every girl?! Girls now are the ones who ask guys out, make the first move, pursue them and then we wonder where the romance went. I also associate this with while having sex the man is normally on top. Not always, but most of the time. Do you get my point girls? Let God's plan work out the way He planned it and it will fulfill everyone of your God given desires! It may just be me, but I think it is beautiful the way God designed men to be the pursuers!



Finally, I want to say one more thing. We have mentioned a couple of times about writing your future husbands. I’ve heard many girls say they think it’s corny and that is perfectly fine if you do. I myself do not think it is. It is a wonderful way to, “focus on the guy at the end of the aisle” as I mentioned earlier! Share your heart… For those of you who have had feelings awakened that you wish were not, whether it be by choice or your innocence was taken from you. This is a great way to take those thoughts captive and focus them on where they should be. For you girls who have been abused, hurt, crushed, I challenge you to seek the face of God… PRAY and ask Him to show you Himself… His plan… and His will. It may seem impossible, but I promise you it isn’t. He wants to revel Himself to you. You have to let Him though. Are you willing to? I honestly think being willing to let go of the pain is often the hardest part… I pray earnestly for you girls that are at that point…



I love each and every one of you girls! As your sister in Christ I want you to view sex in the way that God wants you to…



With loving care,

JEN